


Rain or Shine

by llmarmalade



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy, sorry for the angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-07-27 11:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 59,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16218182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llmarmalade/pseuds/llmarmalade
Summary: It was her luck that the guy she had to work with for the foreseeable future was the same guy she'd had a passionate one night stand with. And yeah, she's totally not pregnant. (Lyatt Week Prompt Day 6: Intimacy/Steamy Lyatt).





	1. Part 1

Lucy Preston rushed into the waiting room of Mason Industries feeling like the world had just slapped her six ways to Sunday. The Homeland agent had dragged her away and she was already feeling the effects of both the liquor she’d drank with Amy and the utter crappiness of the day.  
“Do you know why we’re here?” She asked the sleeping man with his legs propped up on the table. He looked familiar to her. She couldn’t quite place it.  
“No idea, ma'am.” His voice sounded bored as he didn’t even bother to open his eyes. Lucy sat down nervously.  
“Are you asleep?” She asked dismissively. His whole attitude and posture were so casual it seemed out of place.  
“No, ma'am.” He replied. The voice was terribly familiar. Dread coursed through her as she began to realize exactly who was sitting in the chair across from her. She’d wondered if the day could get any worse. Well, it just had.  
“We’re roughly the same age, you can stop calling me ma'am.” She replied tartly. The words rolled off her tongue before she could stop them.  
His eyes opened and a half smirk played at the corner of his mouth. Yes, her suspicions were correct. The man sitting across from her was, in fact, the guy she’d just had a one night stand with a week ago. Those blue eyes that had mesmerized her were now looking shocked and a little horrified.  
Lucy opened her mouth to say something, anything when she was spared the indignity by the arrival of Agent Christopher. To top off the crazy day she was being told that time travel is real and she was expected to jump into a tiny and rickety time machine to stop a terrorist from taking over the world. Wonderful.  
The mission went spectacularly wrong. Wyatt Logan was so focused on Kate that he ignored her and Rufus. Lucy’s annoyance reached a peak level. She wished she had Wyatt’s modern gun so she could shoot him herself. No need to wait for Garcia Flynn.  
“So do you just follow every woman in a skirt and neglect your job. Because I don’t give a damn about what you do in your private life. But when you’re here you have to stay focused. Or don’t they teach you that?” Lucy’s tone was acidic as she sat there crossing her arms. Wyatt had mentioned something about a dead wife but Lucy didn’t see how having meaningless flings made his wife’s memory anymore poignant.  
“Jessica, she died. And it was my fault. And Kate looks like her. I just couldn’t see her dying.” Wyatt said. “I have to save her for Jessica’s sake.”  
Lucy winched. It made sense. She wondered if he’d seen his dead wife in her. Not of course in Lucy’s appearance since she looked nothing like Kate but maybe in her personality or something.  
“Wyatt, I understand. I just…I guess I was mad because we’re stuck in jail and things could go really wrong. But I’m sorry. Sorry about Jessica.” Lucy wanted to say more but he sidestepped the question.  
A few minutes later she caught him staring pointedly at her chest. Lucy cast him an annoyed glance. Really? Here? He’d seen her naked before and she was sure she hadn’t been the most gorgeous woman in the world. Then he came over and whispered in her ear, “Give me your bra, you’re modern underwire bra.”  
Lucy drew in a breath. Of course. The cleverness of the plan overcame any embarrassment she felt about disrobing. She knew he’d seen her before. She managed to get the bra off and tossed it to him. He tried pulling the wire out with his fingers but within seconds gave up to use his teeth on the fabric to rip it from the garment. Lucy felt her stomach drop. That was way sexier than it should be. Memories coursed through her, thick and fast. Yeah, he wasn’t the only one looking even if he was fully dressed. She felt his gaze on her and found herself not minding. If anything the heat warmed her.  
Garcia Flynn had her and she could hear the confidence in his voice as he said, “I know for a fact you won’t shoot.”  
But Wyatt did shoot. And Lucy realized how little her life mattered to Wyatt. The annoyance returned and she confronted him outside Mason Industries.  
“Am I expendable or are you just that good?” Lucy asked.  
“I’m just that good, ma'am.” The shit eating grin on his face made her want to slap him. Or make out with him. She wasn’t sure which. Wyatt Logan riled her up and she hated it. Hated that she had to work with him. He was supposed to be her one wild and reckless decision, the naughty, sexy secret she kept locked away. Now here he was, her coworker, and since Flynn had gotten away Wyatt was here to stay for at least a little longer.  
The moment she brought up Jessica his face changed. Lucy saw the sadness replace the arrogance and she felt drawn to him in spite of herself. He had more layers than she’d originally suspected. Damn, she had a lot to tell Amy.  
As she drove home she contemplated the events of the week before. It had been completely unprecedented and at the time had felt amazing. Now she wasn’t so sure.

One Week Earlier:

Lucy’s tenure meeting had just been set up for Thursday. Lucy’s stomach fluttered with happy butterflies as she realized how close tenure really was. She decided to blow off some steam that night and go to Flanigans, one of the bars she went to occasionally with Amy. Amy had originally planned to come but ended up canceling at the last minute because Mom was worse. Lucy almost went home herself. Amy threatened to lock her out if she did.  
Lucy had settled into a bar stool and ordered her customary white wine when she noticed the guy sitting next to her in the nearly empty bar. Flanigans definitely wasn’t a hot spot for students. It was the kind of dingy bar that looked like something out of a film noir. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. He was handsome, scratch that, super hot. His blue eyes captivated her. Lucy had always been partial to blue eyes. And his whole face was just so gorgeous she wanted to keep looking. Lucy didn’t normally experience such instant attraction to someone but she was happy and almost giddy with excitement. Why shouldn’t she live a little and try flirting with him?  
“This place sure is quiet.” She commented. He looked up and she noticed his gaze rake over her before he smirked.  
“Yeah, that’s why I come here, ma'am,” he replied. So the attraction wasn’t all one-sided,  
“Me too. All the bars are too near to Stanford. Don’t want to be hanging out with all my students.” She commented. His eyes widened at the mention of Stanford.  
“So you’re a professor?” He asked.  
“Yes, I teach history.” Lucy wondered if he would think she was a boring academic.  
“And you?” Lucy asked.  
“I’m in the Army, ma'am,” he replied.  
Lucy had suspected he was military from the way he carried himself and the way he kept calling her ma'am. They talked for a while. She mentioned the tenure meeting and lots about Amy. She even mentioned her mother being sick. He talked a little about the military and let slip that he was a widower. It was surprisingly easy to talk to him.  
It was getting late and Lucy only felt the faintest hint of a buzz. She sat there for a second trying to work up the courage to say something. She couldn’t invite him to her house. Her mother was sick and there was Amy. Not that Amy would have a problem with it. But Lucy felt too awkward. Her gaze fluttered upward and caught his. The intensity of his blue-eyed stare made her chest tighten. She felt like he was silently undressing her with his eyes and she was doing the same. She wanted him. And what’s more, he wanted her.  
“Would you want to uh… come to my place?” He said it hesitantly and for the first time all evening the facade of easy, careless arrogance slipped. He looked insecure. Lucy took a deep breath. She didn’t normally do one night stands. She didn’t have a moral objection to them. They just weren’t her kind of thing. And going to someone’s apartment was seriously dangerous. He could be a serial killer or something. But something in her snapped. Damn it. She wanted to go. She wanted to forget reason, logic and all that. She wanted to have a little fun with someone she’d never see again. She wanted to feel something. From the heat flooding through her she suspected that her attraction would ensure this night was worth her while.  
“Sure,” she replied as casually as she could. She paid her bill with the bartender and they walked out together. His apartment was only a short distance away from the bar and as they walked Lucy’s nerves grew. She was about to back out of this whole thing. It was way too scary. Then his hand fell along her shoulder, exposed in her sleeveless blouse and shivers slid up and down her spine. She turned to face him. His face was unreadable in the darkness but she forced herself to lean forward slightly and shifted her attention to his lips. A kiss would be a good experiment. If it sucked she could beg out of the whole thing and go home.  
It didn’t suck. Damn, he was a good kisser. She found herself pressed against the trunk of a tree, the bark digging into her bare back and he pressed her closer, his tongue exploring her mouth as if it was some sort of treasure map. She gave as good as she got, her teeth nipping slightly at his bottom lip. The sounds of their gasps sounded obscenely loud in the silent night air. Finally, she pulled away, panting.  
“We better…uhh..take this somewhere more private.” Her breathy voice made her cringe. She sounded so ridiculous.  
“Come on. My place is half a block down.” His voice sounded rougher than she’d noticed. Maybe she wasn’t the only one affected? Her heart was still pounding with adrenalin as she walked rapidly, keeping pace with him.  
“I suppose I ought to tell you my name.” His voice broke into her tangled thoughts. “I’m Wyatt. And you are…”  
“Lucy.” She found the name slipping off her tongue and he gave her a slight smirk.  
But the momentary reprieve was lifted the second they found themselves at his door. They were kissing again and this time Lucy didn’t know if she had the willpower to stop. The heat was rushing through her until she felt dizzy with passion and hunger. She ran her hand down his jaw enjoying the rough texture of stubble underneath her fingers. His hands found her hair and tugged gently on the loose strands. The sensation went straight down her spine settling in an aching spot between her legs.  
Somehow he managed to get the door open and then he pushed her back against the door lips dragging along her neck. She tilted her head to give him better access her breath coming out ragged. Damn, she was so turned on and not a stitch of clothing had come off.  
“How drunk are you?” He asked. Lucy blinked open her eyes.  
“I’m fine. Barely buzzed.” Lucy was feeling drunk but it wasn’t the wine.  
“Good.” The harsh sound of his voice sent shivers down her spine. She pressed her mouth up to his feeling his hands fall to her hips and then slide around to slip into her jeans.  
Lucy took a deep breath. She was doing this. Having sex with a stranger in a one night stand. Something she hadn’t done in years. Not since college or the occasional fling after a particularly bad time.  
Her hands shook a little as she reached out and began unbuttoning the flannel shirt he wore. His eyes were fixed on her, dark and vivid in the dim light of his apartment. He looked like he wanted to devour her whole.  
The shirt started tangling up around his arms as she tried pulling it off. Her cheeks burned as she realized how her clumsiness made her look. He only tugged the shirt off and then reached out. His hand found the hem of her lacy blouse, lifting it up and over her head before she moved. Her scrap of a pale pink bra did nothing to disguise her body and she felt self-conscious. Her body was definitely far from perfect.  
“Wow,” she was sure he whispered. His hands trailed across her stomach and upwards to cup her breasts. Warm heat settled in her bones. She bit down on her lip to keep the moan from flying out of her mouth.  
“Come on.” His hands dropped from her body to grasp her hand. “ I do have a bed.”  
She nodded feeling her legs move without her violation. It was too much. The warm pulsing heat between her legs intensified as the dampness of her underwear.  
His room looked neat and clean like an IKEA showroom except for a desk littered with papers. She only took a tiny peek at the room. It felt more intimate to stare at this room than to undress him.  
Her back came to rest against the pillows on his bed. She drew in a loud breath as the reality of the situation struck her. Damn, this was happening.  
“You ok?” His voice broke into her chaotic thoughts.  
“Yes,” she murmured pressing her mouth against his jaw. His eyes looked shadowed as they met hers. Sadness visible underneath it all.  
The second of vulnerability disappeared as they started kissing again. The heat roared back to life as his hand found the clasp on her bra and he unfastened it with a twist of his wrists. The bra was discarded as she fumbled with the buttons on his jeans. Her coordination was seriously off with the sensation of his hands kneading her breasts. She sucked in another breath and obviously, he got the message, separating long enough to remove his shoes and jeans.  
Then he was on her. She kicked off the ballet flats in seconds, the sound of them clattering against the floor a contrast to the silent room. His fingers found the button on her jeans and were stripping them off her body with a relentless determination that sent her concentration reeling. She was glad she was wearing her nice panties, not the plain cotton ones she normally wore. Had she instinctively known something like this would happen? Maybe. She certainly needed a distraction.  
Lucy gasped again as his mouth closed around her breast and another hand trailed up and down her inner thighs, caressing the sensitive skin in a teasing manner. She closed her eyes and began exploring his body. Damn, he was well built. She wasn’t used to that. It had been a while since she’d been with anyone since Justin. And he certainly wasn’t like this. Her back arched as his tongue passed over her nipple and a strangled cry hurtled out of her mouth.  
She was so distracted by the sensations coursing through her she almost didn’t notice his hands dragging her panties off and tossing them aside. He wasted no time in finding her clit and sliding a finger inside of her. Her eyes flew open just in time to see the smirk at the corner of his mouth at her obvious wetness. He was such an arrogant bastard, wasn’t he?  
She propped herself up on one arm while using her other one to tug ineffectually at his boxers. Finally, she gave up her attempt and dove her fingers underneath the waistband to stroke him. A strangled gasp warmed the air. Payback.  
The smirk transformed into a full-blooded smile. Lucy smirked back, confidence making her bolder than usual. “Someone’s a little eager, ma'am.” The words were almost too arrogant but Lucy heard the unaccustomed roughness in his tone.  
“I’m not the only one.” She finally managed to get the offending piece of clothing off. Any attempt at conversation was over. That wasn’t what she’d come for, was it? She had to remember that. Her brain was already starting to over think things. This wasn’t the kind of situation she’d been in for a long time.  
He seemed to sense her nerves because he stopped teasing her. He kissed her, long, slow and deep, a surprisingly gentle kiss for a one night stand. “You’re gorgeous, you know.” Her muttered kissing the side of her neck. It was a banal compliment. But her stomach fluttered with nerves. A good kind of excitement. Heat still flooded her body making her moan impatiently.  
He reached over her to the bedside table and opened it removing a sheet of foil-wrapped packets. She forced her eyes open just in time to see his interceptable question in his eyes. She nodded. She was ready. Had been ready since she’d first made the decision to accept his offer to come to his apartment.  
Lucy gasped as he entered her in one stroke. Her body tightened, warm waves of pleasure sliding through her. She started shifting impatiently. She wanted more. Needed more. Every nerve in her body was searching for release.  
He gave strangled half moan and muttered, “Damn, you’re so tight.”  
Lucy found the corners of her mouth lifting as she murmured, “I’m not breakable you know.”  
It had been a long time since anyone had really appreciated her sexual prowesses. It felt amazingly good knowing someone thought she was sexy and hot even if it was a stranger. He got the hint. The pace picked up, her body teetering on the edge of release. Part of her wanted to hold on to this perfect edge, the sensations strong and overwhelming. She was greedy though. His teeth nipped at her earlobe, the suddenly pulsing pain sending white-hot sparks down her spine. Her body shuddered and trembled through wave after wave of release. Wow.  
“Shit, Lucy.” She saw those gorgeous eyes fixed on her, fairly burning a hole in her body. She felt him let go, the sound of her name flooding the room again. It ought to be illegal the way he said it. All the emphasis on the first part so it came out like “Luce”.  
He collapsed against her, just as spent as she. She suddenly felt embarrassed. She was supposed to leave now, wasn’t she? She was entirely too comfortable. It was a warm night and her body was so relaxed she couldn’t suppress the desire to close her eyes. She was exhausted, all her limbs like water and she was in no position to drive. She hadn’t drunk enough alcohol to be drunk but if having the best sex she’d had in years counted then she was completely drunk.  
She obviously fell asleep because she woke up a few hours later, cold and confused. She started to get up. It was time to go. This wasn’t about emotions or feelings. Sure, it had been great but it was time to leave before she started thinking too much. She started to untangle herself from Wyatt when he woke up. His eyes met her, suddenly panicked and for a second, something seemed to click. Then he smiled, a sleepy, endearing smile, “Where are you going, Babydoll?”  
Lucy started. She never let people call her names like that. It was demeaning. But his unfocused look made her wonder if for a moment he was thinking of his dead wife. It didn’t sound demeaning. “I don’t know.” She murmured. It hadn’t been what she’d expected.  
“Then don’t.” His hand snaked up her back, drawing teasing circles up and down. She found herself melting. What was he doing to her? Drugging her? Hypnotizing her? It felt like that. Lucy didn’t normally act that way. She was a rational person.  
“I guess I could stay a little longer.”  
The touch of his mouth electrified her. This time it was like someone lit a match under them. One moment they were languidly kissing, the next she was pressed against the bed, hands digging into the loose covers to keep from making enough noise to wake the neighbors. His body covered hers, the warm weight enough to swallow her up, but the look in his eyes was so potent she felt already consumed. She had to close her eyes. Looking into his was way too intimate. It reminded her that this was just a temporary thing. But oh…if it was just once it was worth it.  
He took his time. Lucy was too insecure to possibly direct anything. She was completely out of her element. She couldn’t pinpoint why this was so different but it felt like that. It scared the hell out of her. His lips skimmed across her stomach and then lower. She was definitely embarrassed at the loud squeaking sound that came out of her mouth as he found his destination. She bit down on her lip to stop it.  
“Don’t stop on my account,” His eyes were fixed on hers and she nearly lost it because normally smugness did nothing for her. But there was something overpoweringly hot about this moment that she didn’t know what to do.  
“Who said anything about you?” She shot back, eyes rolling back.  
“Then you. Wanna bet you won’t be able to stop?” His challenge sent her reeling. She wasn’t up to this competition.  
“Fine.” Lucy wasn’t actually angry. She wished she was. He was right. With every swipe of his tongue, she was coming unglued, sounds escaping from her mouth as she slid off another peak.  
“It’s your neighbors, not mine.” She looked up as he sat up.  
“I don’t care.” The fierceness in his tone made her grin.  
“Well, then, neither do I.” Lucy pushed him down moving to straddle him. Insecurity had vanished. She was going to put this cocky bastard in his place. Yeah, the pun was a little awkward but she wasn’t exactly composing an essay right now. His eyes flickered closed, smirk falling right off as she abruptly sank down.  
“Who’s worried about waking the neighbors?” Lucy found a grin come to her own face. He wasn’t expecting this.  
“ I don’t care.” The words came out in a rush, warmth flooding her that had nothing to do with the fact that she was succeeding in pushing him to just the same height of insanity he’d pushed her to.  
Lucy collapsed on top of him, eyes closing as she panted out the only words she could think of, “Holy shit.”  
He laughed, a little startled himself, “Damn straight.”  
She pulled away and laid down, sleep pulling at her. She couldn’t fall asleep. She had to wait until he did and then she’d slip away. It was nearly morning anyway. She ended up dozing for an hour and then startled awake. Time to go. She gathered her clothing up from the floor, slipping into the bathroom long enough to rinse her mouth out and splash some water on her face. She put on her jeans and shoes but realized belatedly she needed her blouse. Carefully studying the lay of the land she tiptoed out and into the living room. Her blouse lay in a tangled heap on the floor, a testament to the passionate night she’d just had. Lucy grinned and found a pad of paper by the kitchen. “Wyatt, I had an amazing time. Thank you for inviting me. It was nice talking to you. Lucy.”  
It was probably the most awkward note she’d ever written. But since she wasn’t seeing him again she wasn’t too worried. He didn’t think about her any more than she would him. Placing the note on his bedside table she grabbed her purse and slipped out the door.  
It was a little frightening to think of leaving when everything in her wanted to stay. Forcing herself to walk calmly the few blocks to her car she pushed any sentimental feelings aside. That had been fun. And it was over.  
“So you had a good night?” Amy’s squeal of excitement made her blush.  
“Yeah, I did.” Lucy sank down at the kitchen table, barely able to get her hands washed before she was inhaling Amy’s eggs and bacon.  
“Someone didn’t come home last night. Please tell me it wasn’t Justin.” Amy pushed orange juice over and Lucy gulped it down. She was starved.  
“No, it wasn’t,” Lucy replied.  
“Someone, I know?” Amy frowned.  
“Someone neither of us knows,” Lucy answered. Her sister’s mouth dropped open.  
“Lucy Preston, you had a one night hook up with a stranger.” Amy’s grin made her flush.  
“Yeah, I did.” Lucy fiddled with her toast.  
“And…” Amy prompted.  
“It was amazing.” Lucy shrugged and smiled. “I might be just really bad a picking men but I haven’t had such a good time in probably years.”  
“That’s because you pick selfish pricks Mom likes. You had fun last night because you picked the guy. And you didn’t worry about whether he knew when the Civil War started.” Amy shook her head. “Lucy, you deserve someone you like and it doesn’t matter what mom thinks. You know mom never approves of anyone she doesn’t select. So start making your own choices.”  
“I did. And it felt good. Maybe I should.” Lucy was always grateful to her sister for pushing her away from safety and towards independence.  
“Was he hot?” Amy’s conspiratorial grin lit her face.  
“Very,” Lucy couldn’t help grinning back.  
“He’s about my age, blue-eyed, dark-haired, and really well built. In the Army.” Lucy confessed.  
“Damn, Lucy. I’m so proud of you. Cause my sister never would have gone for that kind.” Amy high fived her and then added, “Enough talk about guys. Don’t want to ruin the Bechdel test.”  
Maybe her sister was right. Maybe she needed to take a few risks. Date someone her mother wouldn’t approve of. Eat at a different sort of restaurant. Go to other places. Make new friends. Maybe this was the start of something new. 

Present:

As Lucy entered the house she received the greatest shock of her life. Her sister was gone. Her mother was well. And Garcia Flynn had just jumped again. She was surprised when Wyatt defended her against Agent Christopher and promised he’d help her get her sister back. He forced her to reevaluate her views on history talking about his wife and her sister. Despite their differences, Lucy realized she respected him. As he held her hand in his as they came back to the present she realized that this whole thing could hurt her royally. He was the kind of guy she could fall for. And she couldn’t do that. Not with his dead wife lingering in the wings.  
That was confirmed when he tried sending a telegraph to Jessica. Lucy’s heart ached but she felt powerless to help. Fate was playing them all a poor hand. When Judith Butler asked if they were sleeping together Lucy felt her face flush. Judith laughed conspiratorially and Lucy ended up admiring they had, once.  
“Was it good?” Judith asked.  
“Very good,” Lucy admitted. The other woman grinned and their conversation ended up being more than memorable. It was nice to admit it to someone other than Amy.  
Meeting Ian Flemming and having him flirt with her was flattering but Lucy was oddly unmoved. Maybe the remembrance of her conversation with Wyatt where he helped her overcome her crippling fear affected her more than she’d realized.  
It wasn’t until the moment where she was clinging to him with her hands pressed against his face begging him to go with her that she realized that thing she’d feared had come true. She’d fallen for him for sure. Hadn’t it been an inevitable thing the moment she’d rediscovered him in the Mason waiting room? She knew what his apartment looked like, she knew the sound of his voice when it was low and hushed with desire, she knew what those scars on his torso looked like. And the idea that she’d never know anything more than that made her heartache. He might be all Jessica’s but somehow he’d become all hers. When he agreed to run with her heart leaped. She’d saved him.  
Then Wyatt got mad at her and Rufus over her hiding the journal and Rufus’s recordings. Lucy’s emotions took a beating over the next few days as she struggled with the words Flynn had used to describe it. What had that man meant by saying she’d understand Rittenhouse in a few months? That soon she’d have something to fight for. Wyatt’s anger was too much on top of the guilt.  
Nausea started a few weeks later. At first, it was easy to pass off as a flu bug but then her period didn’t come around for the second month. Lucy felt a wave of panic settle in her bones. She wasn’t pregnant. No, she was definitely not pregnant. She was on the pill and they’d used protection. Lucy knew that it wasn’t foolproof. She’d been on antibiotics only a few days before that night and it lowered the efficacy of the pill. Still, they had used protection. Whatever this was was just a fluke. Nothing serious. Nothing as life-altering as a pregnancy.  
She wasn’t pregnant. Lucy felt sure of it. Lucy straightened her shoulders and forced herself forward. She went on an awkward date with Noah in an attempt to pretend she was perfectly fine. Noah was kind of sweet but she felt absolutely nothing at his perfunctory goodbye kiss. It was a pity. She wanted to feel something for him. Because it would be so much easier.  
Then she and Wyatt were playing lovers in Bonnie and Clyde’s home and suddenly he was kissing her. And the memories flowed like water between them. Fire would have been a more apt comparison. Her attraction to him could be controlled by pretending that she found him annoying. But the truth was it was taking everything in her not to press his face closer, lose herself in this kiss. It felt different from their other kisses on that memorable night. This felt soft and tender, a kiss of familiarity between two people who kissed so often it didn’t require a refresher. It felt more intimate than anything they’d done that night. Lucy saw the look on Wyatt’s face. The way his eyes widened, a startled look on his face. He hadn’t been expecting to feel anything but attraction either.  
“Well, hot damn. True love then.” Clyde said. Lucy picked up her glass and swallowed feeling Wyatt’s eyes on her. It was torture sitting practically in his lap, hand on her thigh as she tried to stay present on the mission. It didn’t matter how stupid it was for her to have fallen so quickly for the worst sort of guy for her, it was true and no use denying it. She wanted him to kiss her, to drag her to the nearest horizontal surface for a reprisal of their one night together but she wanted so much more. She wanted him to think of her more than a drunken one night stand, an inconvenient secret he was trying to hide. She wanted a real relationship but the closest thing to that was going to be this moment.  
Later, as they lay all too close on a tiny bed not designed for two, Lucy tried collecting her scattered thoughts. “I believe in sparks, chemistry, attraction, but that lightning bolt, I can’t believe that. I mean what’s the odds of two people meeting in the whole world? I mean, what if you lose them? Does that mean you have to spend the rest of your life alone? I think you, me, anyone should be open to the possibilities.”  
His eyes widened slightly as she spoke. He shifted away from her a little and said, “It happened to me. So yeah, I believe in it.”  
Jessica, of course. Lucy’s heartfelt wrenched as she tried regaining control of her breath. His eyes traced her face, lingering on her lips as she found herself doing the same. They were doing this knowing exactly who they were. They were friends, this wasn’t a casual fling, at least not to her. Warmth pooled in her stomach. His hand trailed up her arm before burying itself in her hair. “Have you broken up with Noah?”  
“No,” Lucy murmured. Damn him. Why did he have to bring up Noah? She didn’t give a damn right now. Noah was a complete stranger to her. And one she found all too scary. He was sweet but reminded her of the line of nice normal guys her mother set her up with.  
“It’s a pity.” His voice shook slightly. Lucy was on the verge of throwing caution to the winds and telling him she didn’t care about Noah. She didn’t. Clyde started snoring and Wyatt sat up so quickly it was as if she’d sparked him.  
Later that day she found Wyatt waiting for her outside the dressing room. He looked nervous and she flushed, realizing they’d never actually talked about the “incident”. “Listen, I’m sorry I sprung that kiss on you. I just saw Clyde looking suspicious so I had to do something.”  
“I totally understand,” Lucy replied.  
“Nobody knows about the other night.” Wyatt looked around and Lucy shook her head.  
“No, no one knows,” she replied. It was sad that he felt so desperate to hide it.  
“Cause I think that should remain our secret for a while.” He grinned at her. Lucy started.  
“Yeah, about that. I mean it was umm…fun…but I totally know it was just a casual thing and I hope that doesn’t interfere with us working together.” Lucy felt the words come out in a rush. She needed to say it and be the rational, grown-up who dealt with her issues.  
“Yeah, no of course not,” Wyatt spoke easily but from the way he was looking at her she felt like it might be a problem. Sooner or later someone was going to suspect. Lucy tried not thinking about missed periods and nausea and all that. She wasn’t pregnant. Absolutely not.  
She went home and called Noah and had an uneventful evening with him that left her sadder than ever. She had a sudden impulse to try to get him to stay with her that way if she was pregnant she could claim to herself that the baby was Noah’s. The moment the thought entered her mind she was thoroughly disgusted with herself. The fact that she’d even contemplate doing that made her a horrible person. She wasn’t pregnant so she didn’t have to worry about it.  
After the mission to kill Jesse James Lucy went home and laid down. Her dream of Amy haunted her. Amy should be here, beside her. Amy would know what to do. If Lucy really was pregnant. It was abundantly clear now that she was. And Lucy couldn’t deny it any longer. Somehow whatever protection they’d used had failed. And she was pregnant with Wyatt Logan’s kid. A man who was still more than hung up on his wife’s death. She’d been nothing but a fling and now she’d have to suffer the consequences.  
With trembling hands she dialed Jiya. “Could you come over?” She pleaded.  
Lucy was so glad her mother was gone on a week-long conference as she went to the local pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. Throwing it on the table she waited for Jiya.  
“Hey, are you ok?” Jiya’s face paled as she saw the box on the table.  
“No, I’m not ok,” Lucy said frantically. Her stomach was doing knots as she stood there.  
“Ok, Lucy. Take a deep breath. You think you might be pregnant?” Jiya’s voice was soothing and her hand on her shoulder helped anchor Lucy back to the present.  
“I know I’m pregnant. I’ve known for about two months.” Lucy paused and looked into Jiya’s face. “I just need the test to confirm what I already know.”  
“Ok,” Jiya’s voice was calm as she added, “Do you know the father? Do you think he will be interested in knowing?”  
“Yeah, I know the father.” Lucy said hysterically, “I work with him.”  
“Oh,” Jiya said. She jumped back a little.  
“Dear God, Jiya. It’s not Rufus.” Lucy almost started laughing at the idea.  
“I know. It’s Wyatt, isn’t it?” Jiya’s perception surprised Lucy.  
“How did you know?” Lucy wheeled on Jiya.  
“Well, you two have this vibe going on. Sexual tension through the kazoo. I didn’t know you’d acted on it though.” Jiya led her over to a chair and sat her down.  
“It happened before we met at Mason Industry. It was just a one night stand. We met at a bar. One week before we started this whole thing. And yeah, we used protection. I guess it wasn’t enough. I honestly don’t know what happened.” Lucy brushed tears from her eyes and took a deep breath.  
“Wow.” Jiya was silent for a moment. “And from your reaction, you don’t want to tell him?”  
“He’s made it abundantly clear that he never wanted a kid. Not even with Jessica who was the love of his life. I am just a woman he had a fling with. And his coworker and kind of friend. I know him though. The minute I say anything to him he’ll stand by me. But I’m not going to ruin his life because of this.” Lucy closed her eyes. She knew Wyatt wouldn’t get mad at her. It would devastate him. But he’d stand by her. That wasn’t the point.  
“What about you? Do you want a baby?” Jiya’s voice was soft as she hugged Lucy.  
“I don’t know. Up until we got trapped in the 18th century I didn’t. Then I thought about how I might not ever have a child of my own because I was going to die. I was still in major denial about being pregnant. And I suddenly wanted a kid more than anything. And now…I want this baby.” Lucy found herself sitting up. “I mean I might never get this opportunity again. I’m not getting any younger.”  
“Ok, then. There are options, Lucy. Even if you're too far along for an abortion there is adoptions and other stuff. If you don’t want to keep this baby you don’t have to.” Jiya went on. “But since you do want to keep them then I think the only thing you should do is get yourself checked out and then tell Wyatt.”  
Lucy nodded. “Ok. What will time travel do to me?”  
It had never occurred to her that she was putting a baby at risk. Maybe because she’d been so sure she wasn’t pregnant. She’d spent so much time in straight up denial that now she was flabbergasted at the idea. “We don’t know. We’ve never tested a pregnant woman in the time machine.”  
“I need to see a doctor.” Lucy’s panic returned full force.  
“Ok, hold on. I’ll call Dr. Martin at Mason and we’ll go there. It’s basically closed except for people working the night shift but they have a dr on call 24/7. She’ll look you over.” Jiya called the Dr. while steering Lucy to the door, picking up the pregnancy tests along the way.

Two hours and numerous tests later Dr. Martin came back into the room. “You are pregnant, Ms. Preston. Almost 12 weeks along. Your baby seems in good health although on the smaller size. I don’t think that’s a problem as you are somewhat petite yourself and babies have a tendency to grow rapidly later on in the pregnancy.”  
“Is the time travel thing going to be a problem?” Lucy asked.  
“I can’t sign off on that. I have no clue what effect it will have on either you or the baby. So far I don’t see any signs of harm but it’s too soon to know.” Dr. Martin’s words chilled Lucy.  
“Well, I guess in that case I’ll have to tell Christopher.” Lucy knew Agent Christopher would be understanding. She’d probably assume Lucy was pregnant with Noah’s child. It would all be very sweet. And totally a lie.  
Jiya drove Lucy home. “Do you want me to spend the night?” she asked.  
“No, I need to be alone. Take some time to think.” Lucy smiled at Jiya. “Thank you for being there for me.”  
“Any time. And Lucy, you’re not alone. Regardless of what happens with Wyatt, you are completely and totally supported. I know Rufus will say the same. We’ve got your back.” Lucy nodded.  
She supposed going to sleep was pointless. It was almost five in the morning. Blearily she made tea. A knock at the door startled her out of her anxious musing. Was it Jiya coming over to check on her? Rufus? Lucy opened it to find Wyatt on the other end. He looked shocked to see her up.  
“You’re up this early?” He asked.  
“I had to see the doctor,” Lucy admitted. She’d be on medical leave soon. Wyatt and everyone else might as well know.  
“You’re sick?” His voice was soft and gentle as he came closer and put a hand on her shoulder.  
“I didn’t pass medical clearance,” she admitted.  
“Oh, Lucy.” His face looked pained as he stood there. “Then in that case,” He started to leave.  
“Wait,” Lucy stopped him. “Why did you come here?”  
“I’m stealing the Lifeboat to get Jessica back.” His voice was firm but his eyes looked anguished. Lucy sank down on the steps. If Wyatt went to get Jessica this baby growing inside of her would cease to exist. What’s more is that she’d never even remember it. Never remember her baby’s conception. Never remember she was ever pregnant. Lucy knew all she had to do was say one word about the baby. He wouldn’t go. But she couldn’t do it. She refused to sacrifice Jessica for a baby that would simply be erased. Maybe that made her a bad person, a bad mother, but she couldn’t do it.  
“This is crazy.” Lucy felt the sobs shake her. She hated the idea she’d gotten so attached to Wyatt. That somehow out of all the men she could have ended up getting pregnant by he had to be the one.  
“Ok, what do you need me to do? Just wait for me to get dressed.”  
“You’re not going. I mean you didn’t pass medical. And even if you didn’t you need to be there so that Christopher is in your corner. So you can get Amy back.” Lucy couldn’t stop crying. These pregnancy hormones were making her crazy. And well, she might as well enjoy them because she wouldn’t be pregnant much longer.  
“What do you need me to do?” Lucy asked.  
“Give me twenty minutes. Then call Christopher.” Wyatt closed his eyes. “Thank you, Lucy.”  
She stood up and straightened his collar. “I hope you succeed.”  
His eyes looked into hers. He didn’t look happy. “Is there something you aren’t telling me? You don’t have cancer or something?”  
“No, it’s not serious. Just annoying. Not life-threatening.” Lucy smiled.  
“Goodbye, ma'am.” His eyes locked on hers. She remembered so many times they’d been together. That night when her baby had been conceived. The countless missions. All the times he’d saved her life. All the times they’d argued and sparred. All of it would be erased. She’d never have met him. Or if she had their relationship would be radically different. A happy husband married to a devoted wife wouldn’t be looking at his coworker. Except he’d have those memories even if she didn’t. It wouldn’t matter. It had been nothing but a fling to him.  
“Goodbye, Wyatt.” She closed her eyes. She couldn’t watch him walk away.

 

Jiya was livid when she realized Lucy had known that Wyatt was going and had done nothing to stop it. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”  
“It’s fine. I mean it’s not like I’ll remember anything.” Lucy replied. “Just a couple of hours of hell and then poof. No baby, no inconvenience.” She was aware her voice sounded anything but fine. She was anything but fine.  
“Lucy, if Wyatt knew you were pregnant and didn’t tell he’d be furious. You know he would.” Jiya started crying herself. “I just can’t imagine what you must be feeling.”  
“Like hell,” Lucy admitted. She couldn’t stop crying.

 

Wyatt and Rufus were dragged off the Lifeboat. Lucy stood there and kept crying. Her baby was safe. Jessica was still dead. She was still very much pregnant. And she still had to tell Wyatt. Well, he would probably be spending the rest of the foreseeable future in jail so it wasn’t like he’d be involved in her child’s life. She’d be fine. Maybe she didn’t need to tell him. It wasn’t like he could help her.  
Christopher sent Bam Bam and Rufus on the mission, Lucy carefully briefing them on history. The military analyst Homeland had brought in had been a history major years ago and was fairly decent. Lucy supposed she hadn’t used her history major in the last twenty years.  
“Wyatt,” her voice softened in the darkness of the dark site Christopher had arranged for them to meet. “Are you there?”  
He emerged out of the darkness, dressed in black and looking so disconsolate it broke her heart. “Lucy,”  
His arms wrapped around her and she held on for dear life. It was these hugs that reminded her that he was far more to her than that guy she’d hooked up with. He was her friend, the man she’d come to love.  
“Jessica’s still gone.” She whispered. He nodded.  
“I failed.” His voice sounded defeated.  
“I’m sorry.” Lucy brushed a tear back from her eyes. His hands fell against her stomach. She jerked back. Recently she’d started showing. If she wore loose fitting clothes it wasn’t too noticeable but her clothing wasn’t loose enough. His eyes drifted downward. She put her arms across her stomach realizing too late the gesture was telling. His eyes met hers.  
“What didn’t you tell me?” The sudden ice in his tone made her wince. “I asked you if there was something you didn’t tell me.”  
“I didn’t want to worry you.” Lucy stepped back again. “I just found out the night you took the Lifeboat.”  
“Is it Noah’s?” His voice cut right through the noise in her head.  
“No,” Lucy confessed.  
“Then what the hell were you thinking? Letting me take that thing out knowing you’d erase the baby. What were you thinking? I was suspicious when you started getting sick all the time. But I kept thinking you wouldn’t keep time traveling if you really were pregnant. Do you really not want to be pregnant that much? I mean, hell, this isn’t planned and you have a life and…” He was working himself into a fervor, running his fingers through his hair and pacing around.  
“It’s not like that. If Jessica had come back I wouldn’t have remembered anything. I wouldn’t have ever been pregnant. So I guess I thought it wouldn’t matter. It’s all fate. Amy getting erased. All of it.” Lucy brushed her tears away again.  
“Maybe that’s true for you. But I’d… I’d have woken up one day realizing you’d lied to me. And then…” His voice got lower. “That’d break my heart.”  
“Well, at least you wouldn’t have to feel like the person who stops someone from getting the love of their life back because they got knocked up. I don’t need you, Wyatt. I mean, I don’t need the money or support or anything like that. If you want to be in the baby’s life then great. But I’m not dependent on you. And I was prepared to let this go because I don’t believe in standing in the way of other people’s happiness.” Lucy felt frustration rise.  
“You never could.” Lucy was trying to understand what that cryptic comment meant when Christopher phoned.  
“I have to go.” She stepped back seeing him visibly deflate.  
“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” He said.  
Lucy laughed, “Said the most reckless person ever.”  
“It takes one to know one.”


	2. Part 2 Chapter 1

Wyatt watched her go leaving a perfumed cloud of darkness in her wake. He hadn’t erupted yet. The shock hadn’t worn off and she’d managed to escape before the anger really hit. Lucy Preston was pregnant with his child and had let him try to reset the timeline.   
The perfume lingered reminding him of the night they met. The night she’d just left. He’d woken up that morning to find the note. Her scent still remained in his room, whatever perfume she wore mingling with the much more intimate scent of her body. She’d been easy to dismiss back then. A gorgeous woman with chocolate eyes, long legs and a face like an angel. Easy enough to dismiss the night as just good sex.   
Then he’d met her at Mason Industries and the time travel saga which had torn them up had begun. Lucy was annoying as hell to work with and distracting to boot. It was hard not thinking about that night when she was standing right in front of him. He didn’t know why he started confiding in her. He hadn’t known it in the bar that night. There was something about her that made it safe.   
Standing there in that paper-thin blouse he’d been more than distracted by her. He knew exactly what she looked like without a shirt. Somehow the fact that they were currently bickering only made her hotter. Perhaps putting the bra in his mouth and ripping it out with his teeth was a little much but they did have to escape. And well he wasn’t complaining.   
Somehow they’d managed to become friends. He told himself a million times that she was Lucy his friend, not Lucy the woman in the bar. That Lucy in the bar had swept into his life in a whirlwind of glamour and disappeared just as quickly. She had the power to disarm him. That Lucy definitely wasn’t a platonic friend. She was the woman he’d broken a cardinal rule for. Never bring a woman home. Well, he had. The words were out of his mouth before he could call them back. Even that early in their relationship he’d known Lucy deserved more than a quick fuck in an abandoned corner of a bar. So he’d invited her over. Seen her come apart lying on his bed, heavy dark hair fanning around her like a vision. Her presence still lingered, a taunting reminder of what he could have if only Jessica didn’t still haunt him.   
Knowing Lucy had lied to him over the journal made it worse. Somehow she’d pulled the wool over his eyes long enough to get what she wanted. The question was “what did she want?” Flynn had known all too much about him. He’d known about Jessica and he’d known about the night at Flanagan's. Wyatt hadn’t even tried to hide the fact that Flynn was right. Flynn knew it the moment he’d said anything based on Wyatt’s reaction.   
“How does it feel knowing that woman in the bar is now working with you? It must be uncomfortable or embarrassing.” Flynn’s voice was deceptively calm.   
“It doesn’t matter.” Wyatt gritted out. But it did matter. They all knew that.   
Being trapped in the past with Lucy and Rufus had forced him to reevaluate things. Rufus and Lucy were his team. The people he needed to protect. He’d also started noticing Lucy looking sick. Throwing up after meals, getting tired easily and crying at the mention of hypothetical children. A flicker of doubt entered his mind. Could she be pregnant? And if so was he the father? It was a question he wasn’t prepared to answer. If she was pregnant it had to be Noah. I mean, he was her fiancé and... He wanted to say something. Try to get her to stop time traveling. She refused wine and instead drank ginger ale on the night they all went out for drinks, citing a stomach bug from the 18th century. Her face had turned green at the first taste of one of Rufus’s chocodile. Wyatt couldn’t blame her on that. They were gross.  
As he told the fictional story of how he and Lucy met, based on his story with Jessica he tried not thinking about how he could have just as easily substituted his meeting Lucy. They met in a bar, fell in love after only one night. A romantic tale that was far too close to the truth. Kissing her felt as familiar as breathing, the gentleness of the kiss snaking warmth into his heart.   
She’d lain practically in his lap, a perfect vision in pink ruffles and rose lipstick. Wicked, lurid fantasies filled his mind. It was definitely a good thing they weren’t alone together because this mission might go spectacularly badly if it was just on them. The worst of it wasn’t the fantasy of pressing her down on this very sofa and peeling back the layers of pink silk and eliciting those panting moans that kept him up at night. It was the one where they were home and watching TV and she was lying in his arms sleeping. The night was just a normal night between them, nothing unusual in her falling asleep in the middle of a movie, hair mussed and falling in her face. That was way too intimate. Lucy wasn’t like that. She was a friend.   
That night, lying so temptingly close to her, it had been easy to imagine all of it. She looked so soft and beautiful in the darkness. She’d talked about possibilities and lightning bolts. And dismissed them as quickly as she’d mentioned them. A quick reminder that he was just that guy in the bar she’d had a quick fling with. That maybe Noah wasn’t her true love but she went with that crowd. Smart, well-educated people who drank expensive tea and went to conferences.   
Burying his hands in her hair, seeing the warmth turn her eyes molten, he’d barely been able to resist kissing her. And if they did start kissing it wouldn’t be the soft kiss of earlier. It would be like the kisses of that night, heavy with desire, an impossibly passionate, combustion of two people desperately trying to skim the line between friendship and romance. Fuck this. Why shouldn’t they? Lucy was dismissing Noah like he wasn’t even an option. And at that moment he didn’t care about the guy who’s ring she wore. Why did it matter when she was lying next to him in a thin slip with an expressive face?  
Then Clyde went to sleep and somehow it shot him awake. Reminding him of Jessica and her death and the incredible selfishness of what he was doing. Jessica was the goal. Bringing her back was his aim. Not getting distracted by Lucy.   
Then Lucy was kidnapped and he’d had to hear her screaming for him. The anguished cries floating on the air as Flynn dragged her away. The sight of the Mothership disappearing in the darkness. It was Jessica all over again. As he searched desperately for her he knew that somehow Lucy Preston had gotten under his skin, settling into his heart with a relentless determination that she didn’t even realize. This was Lucy though, and she was alive and holding him close. She smelled differently, like whatever musty place Flynn had been keeping her, and her face was pale but she was alive. The relief at just holding her, neck cradled gently in his hand, was overpowering.   
Then he got the name of Jessica’s killer. It was now or never. If he wanted to bring Jessica back it had to be now. Guilt festered as he remembered that he’d carry with him the memory of Lucy always, an illicit tryst that was impossible to shake. It felt like he’d cheated on Jessica even though she was dead. It hadn’t felt that way in the handful of encounters over the years with forgettable women he hadn’t even remembered in the morning. He’d been too drunk to remember. To care about anything. But somehow that night was burned into his memory. And nothing would change that.  
He stood at her door wondering what she’d say. Knowing Lucy she’d try to help. That was Lucy all over. So compassionate she’d lose herself trying to help other people. She looked pale and shaken as he walked into her empty house, the fine furniture reminding him that she walked in different circles than he did.  
“I didn’t pass medical,” she said. Her face was distraught. He knew why. Somehow all nausea and reactions to strange smells and sudden mood fluctuations made sense. She was pregnant. It had to be Noah. Because she wouldn’t be just sitting there if she knew he was walking out that door to possibly erase her child from existence. It had to be. The fact that he didn’t feel any less anguished, that the idea that Noah had ever been near her, much less close enough to impregnate her, didn’t help matters. Surely she’d say something if he was responsible? Of course, she would. She’d lied to him over the journal but that had been different. Something connected to the mission. Not something so deeply personal. He looked at her, watching her brush the tears from her face and smile gamely.   
“Goodbye Wyatt.” Her parting echo came out as she turned to walk back up the stairs. He turned and watched her go. He wanted her to say something, anything, and stop him. But of course, she wouldn’t. Because she had Noah’s baby to worry about and the only person who’d ever really loved him was Jessica. Jessica needed him. He could save her.   
xxxxxxxxxxxx

He’d failed. Jessica was still dead. He’d gotten a man killed because of his desperation to get her back. Because the guilt and sadness had taken over. His career was over. Everything was over. Languishing in the dark site like a prisoner he had way too much time to think. Endless moments of regret. Regret over everything.   
Lucy came up dressed in a camel colored jacket and jeans and a face wiped clean of anything but concern and gentleness. Wyatt closed his eyes at the feel of her arms around him. She was warm and soft and soothing. Some of the pain eased.   
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. His hand fell against her stomach. The swell of her stomach wasn’t exactly a surprise. He’d known she was probably pregnant. She jerked back, hands falling to the spot. It was the expression in her eyes that alerted him to the truth. She was pregnant and he was the father. The guilt and fear spoke volumes.   
“What didn’t you tell me?” The words came out not nearly as harsh as he wanted them to. She’d lied to him. To his face let him know that his bringing back Jessica wouldn’t change anything. When it would. When it would change everything. “I asked you if there was something you didn’t tell me.”  
“I didn’t want to worry you.” Lucy stepped back again. “I just found out the night you took the Lifeboat.”  
“Is it Noah’s?” He knew it wasn’t. She’d not have responded like that.   
“No,” Lucy confessed.   
“Then what the hell were you thinking? Letting me take that thing out knowing you’d erase the baby. What were you thinking? I was suspicious when you started getting sick all the time. But I kept thinking you wouldn’t keep time traveling if you really were pregnant. Do you really not want to be pregnant that much? I mean, hell, this isn’t planned and you have a life and…” The words were swirling around in his head and came out confused and disoriented.   
“It’s not like that. If Jessica had come back I wouldn’t have remembered anything. I wouldn’t have ever been pregnant. So I guess I thought it wouldn’t matter. It’s all fate. Amy getting erased. All of it.” Lucy brushed her tears away again. She looked distraught. How could she do that? How could she be so selfish?  
“Maybe that’s true for you. But I’d… I’d have woken up one day realizing you’d lied to me. And then…” His voice got lower. “That’d break my heart.”  
“Well, at least you wouldn’t have to feel like the person who stops someone from getting the love of their life back because they got knocked up. I don’t need you, Wyatt. I mean, I don’t need the money or support or anything like that. If you want to be in the baby’s life then great. But I’m not dependent on you. And I was prepared to let this go because I don’t believe in standing in the way of other people’s happiness.” Lucy felt frustration rise. Well, that certainly didn’t hurt. Lucy might as well have slapped him. Might as well have said, “You aren’t worthy to be in my life and be the father of my child.”   
“You never could.” Stand in the way of someone’s happiness? Be dependent? He wasn’t sure what he meant.  
“I have to go.” She stepped back looking like she was fleeing a scene of a crime. She was leaving. And he couldn’t part with her the same way as Jessica. He couldn’t. If something happened he’d never forgiven himself.   
“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” He said. She smiled skeptically.   
Lucy laughed, “Said the most reckless person ever.”  
“It takes one to know one.”  
Then she was gone and he sank on the dusty sofa to think. He was going to be a father. He’d never let himself think of that. Not even with Jessica. He’d been too afraid of morphing into his own father. Now it had happened without his permission. Lucy had lied and clearly wanted nothing to do with him. Frustration seethed through him.   
“Did you know?” He asked Christopher as she came in.  
“ She told me yesterday,” Christopher replied mildly. When she slipped him the paper clip to escape he suspected she knew. The look in her eyes was all too sympathetic. But how could she know?   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He stood in the warehouse as Lucy came in burdened with two suitcases and breathing heavily. He picked them up and without a word followed her into the room she now called home. The second she walked in he shut the door. “We need to talk.”  
“Wyatt,” Lucy began. She sank down on the bed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Jiya was really mad at me for that.”  
“I can’t believe you let me do that.” Wyatt couldn’t even look at her. How could she do that?  
“Wyatt, no offense but this is my body. I refused to have it be a question. I wasn’t going to make it be a question between saving Jessica or saving a baby who isn’t even born. I wasn’t going to have that child grow up and find out they were a bargaining chip between Jessica and themselves.”   
“Yeah, and you didn’t have the decency to actually ask me what I thought about it. Just made the decision for me. Never thought I was capable of actually making a decision. I might be a kid from nowhere and not some doctor or something but that doesn’t mean I’m completely stupid. I know you might be ashamed of slumming it but…” The words poured out, painful and seething with rage.   
“Wyatt, that’s not it.” Lucy’s voice rang out sharply. “I’m not ashamed. How could you say that?”  
“Because that’s sure what you’re acting like. Trying to hide your dirty little secret.” She flushed hotly and stood up, fairly barreling towards him. Her hands landed on his shoulder and she glared at him for a few seconds.  
“Wyatt Logan, listen to me. I did that for you. Do you really think I enjoy this situation? Need I remind you that a few days ago you went back in time to save your dead wife you love so much you that were willing to spend the rest of your life in jail? How was I supposed to respond? Oh no, you can’t do that. I’m pregnant and you’re the father, congratulations.”   
Lucy’s face crumpled and she started sobbing, “You don’t know how hard it was knowing that I would forget everything. Including being pregnant. I knew I was erasing my own kid. And it was horrible. But I kept thinking about how Jessica was a fully grown woman. And how it wasn’t fair for me to stand in her way.”   
God, Lucy Preston was the most infuriating person he’d ever met. Also the most unselfish person. Even when her unselfishness was selfish. He understood all too well the moral dilemma she was under. Pulling her close he just held her as she cried. Tears slipped from his own eyes. “I’d never have done it if I’d known. You know that. Don’t you?”  
“Yes,” Lucy replied. “I know. That’s why I made the decision for you.”  
“You can’t keep doing that.” She pulled away and nodded.  
“I’m sorry, Wyatt. I should have told you. I’m so sorry.” Lucy pressed a hand against his cheek.   
“You know I would have figured it out when I came back and you weren’t pregnant. And then, Lucy, that would have killed me.” Her face fell and she started crying again. Arms wrapped around his neck she shook silently.   
“I thought it would have been worth getting Jessica back.” She whispered. How could she have thought otherwise? He had given her no reason to think otherwise.  
“Well, it wouldn’t have. I’m not that selfish. And Jessica wouldn’t have stood for it either.” He pulled her down towards the chair and sat down. She looked tired and wan, a pale-faced ghost with a tiny swelling stomach. She sighed heavily tears still dripping down her face. He pulled her close again, settling her on his lap as she silently shook with more sobs.  
“It was horrible,” she commented. She made an effort to pull herself together. “They weren’t kidding about the pregnancy hormones. I want to throw up, eat and cry most of the time.”  
“What about the time travel? What did the doctor say?” All the practical questions suddenly zoomed to the forefront.  
“She says she doesn’t know about long term effects. But so far the baby is healthy.” Lucy smiled and said, “I didn’t want to know the gender then. But now…”  
“I'm fine with a surprise."  
“Ok,” Lucy leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’m still not sure how this whole thing happened. We were careful.”  
“Yeah, about that.” Lucy’s eyes widened. “I think those condoms might have been expired.”  
Lucy’s face changed. He wasn’t sure if she was angry or just amused. “Wait, that means you don’t invite every attractive female to your house to ravish them?”  
“No,” She gave him a skeptical look and he amended, “I mean I’m not saying that there haven’t been women, but it was more casual. Never invited anyone home. Usually was too drunk anyway.”   
Lucy sighed, “I am on the pill but I took antibiotics and they don’t work well during that. So basically it was a perfect storm of things.”  
“Maybe, Maybe it was one of those things.” He started. “Those meant to be things.”  
“You really didn’t go and invite women home?” She looked startled. Of all the things that would be stuck in her mind that had to be the thing she was fixated on.   
“Nope.” She couldn’t possibly understand how out of character his asking her had been. She wasn’t the type of woman he normally went for. But there had been something about her. A look in her eyes that captivated him. All he knew is he wanted her.   
“I don’t normally do one night stands. It’s been forever. Like since college.” Lucy’s eyes drifted shut. “Oh my god, Noah.”  
“What?” he asked.   
“Noah, my mother. They’ll think I cheated on him. How will I explain that?” Lucy’s hands shook as she sat up.   
“Maybe you should break up with him first.” Wyatt wasn’t looking forward to tangling with Noah. Even though Noah might be an ass he was Lucy’s fiance. And she was was pregnant with another man’s child.  
“Good idea,” Lucy replied. “I’m not so worried about him. I’m worried about my mom. She’ll think I’m so horrible.”  
“But didn’t your mother cheat on your father?” Wyatt didn’t know why he brought it up. Lucy nodded, tears starting to her eyes.   
“Yeah, but not this version. This version never married.” Lucy sighed. “I just hope she trusts me.”  
“Of course she will.” Wyatt wasn’t sure about Carol Preston. But her daughter deserved everything. And he would do anything to ensure she was safe and protected.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Are you ok?” Rufus’s concerned voice startled Wyatt as he choked down the lumpy oatmeal he’d managed to rustle up on the hot plate.   
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Rufus cast him a curious glance.  
“With Lucy being sick and all that. Why aren’t you freaking out?” He was but not in the way Rufus thought. He knew Lucy wasn’t sick. She was in good health and so far the baby was fine. But he was not comfortable and probably never would be with the changes that were occurring. This would never be normal.   
“She’s going to be fine,” Wyatt said. Rufus’s eyebrows lifted.  
“You freak out if she so much as sneezes.” Rufus laughed. “What happened? You two fight?”   
“No,” Wyatt replied. Rufus was skirting ever nearer the truth and Wyatt wasn’t sure how to deal with that.  
Lucy stumbled into the room, white-faced and messy-haired. She took one look at Rufus’s breakfast burrito with lots of onions and garlic and ran out of the room. The sound of someone being violently ill filtered through the warehouse.  
“Oh my god.” Rufus’s mouth opened. “She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”  
“Who is pregnant?” Jiya came in and cast a questioning glance at Wyatt. She knew because Lucy had told her. And she was clearly uncomfortable and trying to hide things.  
“Lucy. She’s sick all the time and she’s been gaining weight and is on medical leave.” Rufus looked proud of himself as if he was Sherlock Holmes or something.  
“I guess it has to be Noah,” Rufus muttered. “Didn’t think she was very close to him.”  
Wyatt shifted uncomfortably. The truth would come out eventually but he supposed Lucy ought to be the one to tell Rufus.   
“Why are not jealous?” Rufus was staring suspiciously at Wyatt.   
“Why would I be?”   
“Because Lucy can’t breathe next to another guy without you getting all jealous.” Rufus’s eyes narrowed. “Wait a minute,”  
“Rufus, please. You are about to say something you will seriously regret. Shut up.” Jiya’s frantic tone didn’t make an impression on her boyfriend.   
“Oh my god. I can’t believe it.” Rufus shook his head. “Oh my god, we almost erased the kid.”  
“Stop this, Rufus. Accusing your friends of getting your other friend pregnant is seriously a bad idea.” Jiya looked pleadingly at Wyatt.  
“It’s true, Rufus.” He might as well know now. It wasn’t as if they’d be able to hide it from anyone.   
“Wow. So you got Lucy knocked up?” Rufus shook his head. “When did this happen?”  
“Three months ago.”   
“Wait a minute. That’s when we started. Wow, you work fast.” Rufus’s sarcastic tone was gaining ground. Wyatt expected an explosion at any moment.  
“Yeah, it happened a week before we met in Mason Industries. It wasn’t a serious thing. The point is that I didn’t know until yesterday. I suspected she was pregnant but she didn’t say anything and when I went to see her that night she still didn’t say anything. If I had known I never would have gone. You know that.”   
“Yeah, well, that sounds great. But what the hell are you going to do?” Rufus shook his head. “Lucy didn’t tell you because she was afraid you were going to be mad. And I swear if you make this harder for her I will personally make your life miserable.”  
“I’m not mad. Well, except for lying to me.” Wyatt shook his head.   
“What was she supposed to say? Oh yeah, the guy who is obsessed with his wife’s murder, you got me pregnant so now you have to choose between a fetus and your dead wife? I mean it’s her body. And her choice.” Rufus glanced at Jiya.  
“He’s right, Wyatt. But you’re also right. She should have told you.” Jiya sighed. “I hope she doesn’t get too upset Rufus knows.”  
“Knows what.” Lucy came back in looking like death. Wyatt poured the hot water from the electric kettle over a peppermint tea bag and handed it over. She gave him a grateful smile.   
“I know why you’re sick.” Rufus glanced around at each of them.  
“Yeah, I’m pregnant,” Lucy said with forced cheerfulness.   
“Well, congratulations.” Rufus was trying to make the situation less awkward but failing completely.  
“I’m sure you know the whole story now,” Lucy said voice choked with tears.  
“Hey, Lucy.” Rufus reached out a hand and tried to stop her from running. “We’re all gonna be there for you. Even if your mom is mad. You’re not a teenager. You’re a grown ass woman who is totally going to be the best mom ever.”  
“Thanks, Rufus.” Lucy gave him a tiny hug. “I knew I could count on you to make the cheesy jokes.”  
“What I’m here for. Also helping the kid with math and science homework.”  
“Wow, man. You gotta make her feel better. She looks like hell.” Rufus shook his head. “Maybe this is your chance.”  
“Chance for what?” Wyatt asked.  
“For finally being happy again,” Rufus replied.  
“I don’t know if that’s possible.” 

 

Lucy was sitting in the abandoned corner of the warehouse combing through books for more information about Rittenhouse when he finally managed to locate her. She was pretty good at hiding in out of the way corners. Slowly he reached over and wrapped an arm around her. She gave a sad smile and put the book down.   
“I’m here for you Lucy. As much as you want or need. I want you to be happy.”   
She turned towards him eyes suddenly filling with tears, “They weren’t kidding about the crying. I feel like crying all the time. I just, oh Wyatt, I can’t lose this baby. I thought I could handle it but I can’t. Those moments when I was just waiting for things to change were the worst moments of my life.”   
Seeing her in so much anguish physically hurt, as if there was a thread being tugged linking them together. “Oh, Lucy.”   
He loved her. It was as simple as that. He couldn’t handle losing her. She was the soft place to land in a sea of darkness and pain. He’d lost Jessica but he couldn’t bear to lose Lucy.   
“I’ll always be here for both of you.” She nodded but her face was still hidden.   
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rufus was shot. The panic of having to keep him alive while a frantic Lucy called Noah of all people was indescribable. Noah came frowning heavily at the dingy surface and lack of equipment. He cast curious glances at Wyatt, eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at Lucy. Lucy wore a loose blouse but she was really starting to show. A thin woman like Lucy had little to hide a baby. Wyatt just hoped that there wouldn’t be a blow-up. He had no problem punching Noah’s arrogant face but Lucy wouldn’t like it.   
He saw them disappear again, fighting jealousy as he saw Lucy smile. If she married Noah she could easily pass the kid off like Noah’s. Wyatt and Noah had the same hair and eye color. She wouldn’t have to worry about a guy with a dead wife or single parenthood or even the shame of having her mother think she cheated.   
She came back quietly saying in a whisper, “Noah took it much better than I expected.”   
“He wasn’t mad?” That struck alarm bells in his head. Normal people would get mad. Unless he was plotting revenge. Pretending to be agreeable and then coming out swinging.  
“He said he understood. I told him there were complications he couldn’t understand and I couldn’t talk about.” Lucy sighed. “My mother won’t understand.”  
Carol Preston did understand. Lucy said her mother was mad at first and then said she understood. She planned to have Wyatt over for dinner. It was a trap. Carol wanted to humiliate him so Lucy would lose interest and walk away. Wyatt had met Carol Prestons before. Jessica’s mom had been similar, always thinking she was above the rest of their small, poor town.   
Then the warehouse was raided by Rittenhouse. “We’re going in the Lifeboat,” Rufus announced. He was barely healed from his injuries but he was detrimental to protect Jiya who’s quick thinking had kept her out of Rittenhouse’s hands.   
“Lucy can’t go.” Wyatt wasn’t going to see her time traveling and getting hurt.   
“She has to. She doesn’t have a choice. It’s safer than staying behind. Believe me, she can’t fall into Rittenhouse’s hands.” Denise stood behind him.   
They took off, the nauseating jolts even worse because he wasn’t strapped in. Lucy threw up the second the Lifeboat hit the ground, face ashen and hands shaking. “Time traveling and pregnancy doesn’t mix. Just an FYI.”  
“Good to know,” Jiya said. She pulled the bucket Lucy had used from her hands and handed it to him. “Looks like you could use this, Soldier.”   
It was embarrassing being the one with the weak stomach. He always had been prone to seasickness. Lucy sat up and started to unbuckle her seatbelt. At least she tried. Wyatt reached over and carefully undid it. She normally had no trouble unbuckling them but this time her hands were shaking.   
“What if I’m hurting the baby?” She whispered as he helped her down.   
“ We just have to hope that it doesn’t.” Wyatt reached out and brushed a hair from her collar. “ Getting captured by Rittenhouse would be worse.”   
He didn’t agree with that when he was fighting Joseph McCarthy and fleeing Flynn and his men. Lucy looked shaken as she said, “Flynn is trying to kill my grandfather. And if he does I will be erased. And so will the baby.”  
Wyatt had never hated the man more. Lucy had some steadfast belief that maybe underneath it all Flynn had a heart. It was awfully hard to see it with the lives of Lucy and his child hanging in the balance. He had to save Ethan Cahill because if he didn’t Lucy might get erased.   
Seeing Lucy put herself between their guns and plead with Flynn to go along with her plan was the scariest moment of his life. Her blue suit was tight enough to show a hint of her growing stomach. He saw Flynn glance down, a hint of sadness in his eyes. It was one child being traded for another, wasn’t it? He trusted Lucy. Had always trusted Lucy. Even when she’d been nothing more than a stranger in a bar he’d had an unreasonable attraction to, he’d trusted her.  
“I’ve lost you once, I can’t lose you again.” He held her close for a long moment.   
She nodded, eyes shining with unshed tears. “I will be fine. He won’t hurt me.”  
Wyatt was in no wise confident of that. But he had to leave her behind. His eyes found hers as he turned to the Lifeboat. It was the worst moment he could remember. Leaving her behind was like a physical ache in his chest. He saw her smile and give a little wave.   
“You ok?” Rufus knew he wasn’t ok but Rufus wasn’t ok either. Jiya was having a seizure and he was frantic. All in all falling in love was a dangerous gamble in their line of work.   
“No,” Wyatt replied.  
Seeing Lucy in the flesh walk to the park they had agreed to meet in was an indescribable feeling. He held out his hand and touched her face. She smiled and looked at him, eyes wet with tears. “You’re ok,” he choked out.  
“Nauseated and sick but ok.” She gave a small smile.   
“He didn’t hurt you?” Wyatt asked.  
“No, he didn’t,” Lucy replied. “I think this thing might be over. If my Grandfather did what we said then it will be ok.”

 

He had done what they said. Ethan Cahill was more like Lucy than Wyatt would have ever dreamed. The same hard-headed determination to do what was right, regardless of the cost. Wyatt could only imagine how difficult it must have been for that man to spend decades trapped in Rittenhouse’s clutches, his very existence a threat. And he’d given them a wealth of information that might burn Rittenhouse to the ground.  
“When I heard my son say he had a daughter named Lucy that’s when I knew that I’d made the right decision.” The old man lifted his hand and touched Lucy’s face. “Now I see that I’m about to be a great-grandfather.”  
Lucy started, a flush dying her cheeks. “How did you know?”  
The old man only chuckled. “I knew the moment you came in a few minutes ago. Congratulations.”  
Lucy nodded, her face beaming suddenly, “I don’t want him or her to grow up in a world with Rittenhouse.”  
“Neither do I.”   
As Wyatt followed Lucy out of the room Ethan called him back, “You take care of them, son.”  
Wyatt wondered how the man had guessed he and Lucy were a thing. The old man chuckled again, “Oh I knew back then you two were an item. I’m not wrong, am I?”  
“No,” Wyatt replied. “I will fight for them with everything I’ve got.”  
“Good.” Ethan nodded and Wyatt walked outside with Lucy feeling happy for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Yes, I'm updating this story after a million years. I got bogged down by a ton of other projects and this story gets very angsty (damn you Season 2). But never fear, there will be a happy ending.   
> First of all, Wyatt does kind of suspect Lucy is pregnant but he doesn't believe he is the father. I think he assumes it's Noahs. Lucy's motivation is simple. She doesn't want her child to be the reason Jessica isn't brought back. In this story, I think Wyatt is closer to moving on than in canon. That's part of what makes the rest so heartbreaking. RH is going to try their best to destroy them. You might notice both of them are very insecure. That's by design. Sadly these two idiots will take a long time to fully accept how much they love each other.   
> It might seem a little OOC for Wyatt not to be freaking out over Lucy not being medically stable in the scene with Rufus. But don't forget he already knows she is pregnant and not seriously ill. I love that scene with Rufus. He picks up on Lucy's pregnancy right away and then immediately accuses Wyatt and Jiya's like "no, Rufus don't."


	3. Part 2 Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a M rated section in the middle that is easily skipped if that isn't your cup of tea.

Lucy was in her element studying the documents Ethan had left them. Wyatt had done his fair share of research over the years, but Lucy seemed to actually enjoy going through pages of documents. They spent hours studying documents and putting together spreadsheets of data. Lucy was growing day by day, her stomach sticking out in a noticeable way. She looked absolutely gorgeous. The only relief was that this office work wouldn’t be dangerous while pregnant. He might hate the paperwork but if it kept her safe and occupied in a comfortable chair in Mason Industries he couldn’t complain.   
“I was wondering if you wanted to stay with me? I mean I know things are rough with your mother. And I can keep you and the baby safe.” Lucy had just delivered the flash drive to Garcia Flynn only to have him get arrested in front of her eyes. Lucy had been deeply upset about it. Wyatt didn’t much care about Flynn but Lucy was endlessly compassionate and actually seemed to worry about the man. Lucy’s mother had been furious Lucy had broken up completely with Noah who had been apparently prepared to take Lucy back. And her mother’s anger and displeasure meant Lucy spent more than a few nights sleeping on the break room couch at Mason. When he’d found that out he’d been determined she’d never have to do that again.   
“Are you sure? I mean, I know we’re umm… doing this parenting thing but that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to...you know...be with me.” Lucy didn’t understand. How could she when he’d done such a terrible job of showing it.  
“You know you were right when you said we needed to stop living in the past and look to the future. Right now, the future is you and this little boy.” Wyatt laid a hand on her growing stomach. She smiled softly. “I think I need to be open to the possibilities.”  
“Possibilities of what?” She asked. The smile was growing on her face.  
“Family. Being a real family.”  
She launched herself at him with a smile. Holding her close was like a revelation. Lucy Preston hugs were so infectiously joyous and comforting. He might have learned a lot about her from their one passionate night but he hadn’t learned how she liked to hug you and almost strangle you in the process. It was overwhelming and scary. He’d finally accepted he loved Lucy. He’d also finally accepted he was about to be a father. It was a bewildering change but somehow he felt sure Jessica would be happy. He could let her go now.   
They were leaning in for the first kiss they’d shared since 1934 when someone brushed past.   
“The revised timeline is available when you have time.” Connor Mason barely looked up from a stack of papers before sliding past. The moment was broken. Lucy looked just as disappointed as he felt.   
“So uh...do you I mean… I have plenty of space.” He felt like they’d gone about this all wrong. They’d started out as a one night stand then had become coworkers and friends. Now they were going to be parents and they were just now getting to the dating stage. Moving in with each other was a big step but he felt Lucy would be happier away from her mother’s judgment.  
“If you don’t mind,” Lucy said, unaccountably shy.   
“Of course I don’t.” No, he definitely didn’t.  
Her mother was even more unhappy when Lucy announced she was moving in with him. Her mother clearly considered him the devil for seducing her daughter away from her respectable doctor fiance and getting her pregnant. He was nothing compared to Lucy Preston in her mother’s eyes. It reminded him all too well of how his father felt about him. The only fear was Lucy would wake up sometime and regret everything. She didn’t need to know that he’d gone out and requested a two bedroom apartment and quietly moved in the weekend before. Perhaps if they were able to make a go at a go at the whole relationship thing that room would be the baby’s room.  
“You moved,” She said quietly as she walked in the door.   
“Yeah, they gave me this place,” Wyatt said. She gave him a skeptical look. Clearly, she knew how expensive rent was and knew they didn’t just give single guys two bedroom apartments.   
She smiled a little and then moved closer to wrap her arms around him. Her stomach was definitely growing and at almost five months had begun to wear those loose fitting maternity outfits she and Jiya had picked out. Lucy Preston was always gorgeous but she looked especially pretty pregnant. There was something about her that made her even more desirable. Considering how that trigger fast attraction had caused this whole situation it was something of a surprise they hadn’t even kissed since the one in front of Bonnie and Clyde. Somehow this was different and they both knew it.   
He was about to lean in and kiss her when the doorbell rang. It had to be Rufus and Jiya to help move her in. Sighing he moved to the door. It was just as well. Kissing Lucy as she deserved to be kissed, thoroughly and without distraction, would take more time than they currently had. She gave him an equally disappointed look. Leaning forward he whispered, “On that note, we’ll continue later.”  
Her smile was mischievous as she murmured, “I’ll have to see if it fits into my schedule.”  
Rufus had obviously been talked to by Jiya because his awkward jokes about the status of their relationship were kept to a minimum. Instead, he poked fun at Wyatt’s possessions. “Your house looks like an IKEA storeroom.”  
Wyatt shrugged. His furniture had mostly come from IKEA. Jiya sighed, “I wish my apartment looked this neat.”  
After they’d put the last box away Rufus cornered him. Wyatt saw his serious expression and realized that he was in for a lecture. “Ok, I’m fairly certain both Jiya and Lucy would kill me if they heard me because you know the whole women can speak for themselves thing. But, even if you are my friend, I will personally see you get erased from existence or something if you hurt Lucy or her baby. You can’t just spend all your time trying to get Jessica back. Every time she has to stare at that wall she knows you’re thinking about taking that machine back. And that hurts her.”  
He’d known he had to take the wall down. Somehow he’d put it off because it hurt. Putting the last newspaper clipping and printout away seemed to imply he had given up on finding Jessica’s killer. “Ok, Rufus. Good point. Don’t want to get erased from existence.”   
The light jovial tone didn’t erase the simple fact that he knew Rufus was right. That night he carefully took the papers down and laid them in a box that he put in his closet. The bare wall taunted him. It seemed to say that he’d given up on Jessica. That he didn’t deserve happiness. That Lucy and the baby would be taken away too.  
He found Lucy watching TV on the couch. Apart from the nightly news and sports, he didn’t watch a lot of TV. He’d discovered Lucy had a passion for trashy TV. It made him smile seeing someone so highly educated getting frustrated with a soap opera drama. Maybe she wasn’t so far out of his league after all? He sank down beside her, surprised when she curled up beside him. His attention wasn’t fixed on the silly drama on the TV screen. He was watching her. She caught him staring and unexpectedly leaned closer, “I managed to find an opening in my busy schedule.”  
“Good to know.” His hand came up to stroke her cheek. “Wouldn’t want to waste any time, Ms. Preston.”  
No, they definitely hadn’t lost their touch. It might have been almost two months since they last kissed but it felt like nothing or an eternity. White hot warmth seared between them, as her hands began curling around his neck, fingers gently digging in as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Her loud gasp rose over the sound of the TV. They were sitting at an awkward angle for kissing, a fact she clearly figured out and separated herself long enough to straddle him and sink back down. It was his term to grasp because her full weight pressed against him was gloriously addictive. His fingers slipped from behind her neck to slid beneath her tank top, finding the smooth soft skin beneath. He traced the prominent belly, the heat intensifying into a steady fire. She rocked against him, moaning softly as he pressed open-mouthed kisses to her neck. They were only making out on a couch like two teenagers and she was already that far gone. As much as he might have liked to think it was whatever he was doing to her but it probably had more to do with pregnancy hormones. Her eyes opened again, meeting his in a sudden questioning expression.   
Her face seemed to visibly deflate as she glanced down at her own body. The sudden shift made her seem to retreat within herself. He’d noticed her tendency towards insecurity the last time they’d been in this position. But somehow he’d naively thought they’d gotten past that.   
“Luce?” The word came out as a question.  
She seemed to smile as if it was irrelevant as she replied, “She said you just wanted a quick lay and now I’d be dumped with a baby. That’s what she told me when I talked to her tonight. She’s trying to get me to go back to Stanford.”  
So that had been why she’d been so quiet all evening. The "her" could only be Carol Preston. Her mother was clearly trying her hardest to separate them. Why wouldn’t she? Wyatt Logan was the piss poor son of a mechanic from Texas while her daughter was an accomplished college professor. The only problem was Lucy was the collateral damage. And he refused to let Carol out her daughter in that position.   
A tear slid down her cheek. She’d been so strong and reliant through it all. He’d never done anything to make her feel more comfortable. For all, she knew he could run off and steal the Lifeboat to get Jessica back. Vague mentions of possibilities weren’t enough to make up for all the rest.  
“I love you, Lucy.” The words were surprisingly easy to utter. Eyes wide she faced him.   
“I love you,” she whispered. They were more a mumble against his lips. “I’m so damn emotional. I want to cry all the time.”  
Hands spanning her waist he pushed her back against the couch. She gave a little sigh as she tried to kiss him. He chuckled as she tried removing his shirt, fingers tangling in the buttons. Lucy never was very dexterous but especially not now. “Damn it,” she muttered. He ended up taking over for her, removing shirt and jeans within seconds.   
“Hey, my clothes are easier to remove than yours. Do you remember that blue suit you wore? I wanted to rip that thing off of you.” Her eyebrows rose as it was her turn to laugh.   
“That was a nice suit. Good thing I didn’t let you help me out of it.” Her laughter turned to a shocked squeak as he abruptly lifted her tank top and pulled it over her head.  
It was his turn to stare. She wasn’t wearing a bra. And pregnancy had only made her chest look better which was hard to believe. Lucy Preston’s breasts always had figured largely in all his fantasies. He wasn’t sure if she minded but she sure as hell hadn’t that night. “Wow.”   
She sat up a little to kiss him as his hand went up to caress her. She gave a little hum of approval and then suddenly jerked back, the sound becoming more pain than pleasure. “What’s wrong?”  
“They’re a little sensitive.” She replied.  
“I’m sorry.” She only shook her head and pressed a kiss to his lips.  
“That’s not the only thing that’s sensitive.” That was officially the dirtiest thing he’d heard her say and it was hot as hell.   
“I’m sure it’s not.” Her loose fitting yoga pants were easy to remove. Her skin was petal soft under his fingertips as he ran a hand up and down her legs. Eyes closed, hair flowing all over the couch cushion and the swelling bump under her stomach made her look like a goddess. Pressing a kiss against her stomach he felt her squirm.   
“Stop teasing.” She whined.   
“Someone’s getting impatient.” She sent him a very annoyed look but it faded as he finally pulled her panties off.  
“You would be too. If you felt as turned on as I do ninety percent of the time.”   
Only Lucy Preston could be naked on a couch with him nearly clothed and still manage to control the situation. Still, she was impatient and he could understand. It might have been only five months since they last were in this position but it felt like a lifetime. Tugging her forward he pressed a kiss to her inner thighs seeing back curve off the sofa. Each stroke of his tongue brought forth more moans, his name gasped out in long pants and her hands buried in his hair.   
“Open your eyes.” It took a second for her to respond to but then she did. Warm, cinnamon-colored eyes met his for a moment as she finally slid off her peak, wave after wave of release shuddering through her.  
“Get up here.” Lucy’s order came out in a relaxed tone that still seemed to carry a note of authority. Hands moving rapidly she dragged his underwear down and settled herself on top of him. A dark curtain of hair fanned his face as she peppered his face in kisses. “Your kid makes me horny all the time.”  
“Are you trying to kill me?”  
She chuckled and sank down, the sounds of their moans almost simultaneous. “I think you can handle little old me. Didn’t they prepare you for every possibility?”  
“Not for you, Preston.”   
There was no weight of either of them leaving in the morning. Time seemed to stand still, not such an unbelievable concept for a time traveler, as they moved. With her head tipped back, hands bracketing his face with gentle softness as she erased every single doubt. It was like unraveling the past, the questions of how they’d landed here disappearing. It didn’t matter. This was so soft, so unbelievably tender, so unabashedly emotional. And he didn’t have the excuse of pregnancy to explain why it felt so different.   
He reached up to drag her face down for a kiss, the angle just awkward enough with her stomach in the way and odd positioning on the couch. She moaned loudly, the change in direction making her body tighten around him. Her eyes opened, so close he could see the greenish flecks in them, and somehow the intimacy of seeing her like this, walls down and insecurities laid to rest was more startling than the physical act. She might not have been a lightning bolt, falling in love with her might have taken a few centuries give or take but she was a shot into the bloodstream.   
Reaching down he used a thumb along her clit to coax a shuddering release from her. She tightened around him, fingers tangled in his hair and things whitened out for a second, the only conscious thought was how unbelievably good it all was. Panting she collapsed on top of him or at least tried to until her stomach got in the way. She wasn’t exactly big yet but she still hadn’t managed to navigate life with a belly. With an effort he sat up and untangled her long enough to situate her on her side, arms bracketing her in. It wasn’t the most comfortable position but she sighed happily. A yawn escaped her.   
“Sorry for wearing you out, Preston.” There was more than a little masculine pride in seeing her so clearly exhausted.   
“You didn’t wear me out. Your kid did.” She replied.  
“I can still claim credit for it.” Her massive eye roll only made him laugh.   
“You should be very thankful you’re cute and know how to put that mouth of yours to better use than sassing me. Because if not…” Her eyes twinkled at him.   
“Hmm...I don't seem to remember you complaining a few minutes ago.” She playfully slapped him and then yawned again.  
A second later she had started again, hand flying to her stomach. “You ok?” The sudden rush of panic startled him. It was like every single nerve in his body had come apart at the seams. There was no prior preparation for the idea that something might be wrong with Lucy or the baby.  
“The baby, he or she moved.” Lucy’s hands moved again, searching out the exact location.   
“What? May I?” She took his hand and pressed along her stomach. It took a few minutes because obviously baby had decided to stop moving just when they wanted them to move. Then he felt it. A distinctive flutter. Until that moment the baby had been an abstract concept, a child but also an adult with a dreamy, hazy quality. Now it was all too real. The rush of something suspiciously like love and the terror that something would happen.  
“Wow.” It was the only thing he could think of.  
“It’s pretty amazing,” she replied. Eyes closed she was asleep in seconds. He spent the next hour waiting for another movement.

The routine was simple. Get up, get breakfast, wait for Lucy to stop throwing up in the bathroom and then make it to work. Go through stacks of papers and spreadsheets full of Rittenhouse information. Go home and watch TV or hang out with Rufus and Jiya and try not to think about how terrifying it all was. Pregnant Lucy was even more anxious than usual which was probably more a parent thing since just seeing her walk across a room was terrifying. She was cranky half the time which wasn’t really a surprise considering how miserable she was. The baby seemed to enjoy dancing on her bladder and kicking her hard. They had decided to keep the gender a surprise but Agent Christopher swore up and down it was a boy. Lucy was alternatively hungry and horny, depressed and anxious, insecure and confident in a dizzying swirl of conflicting emotions and sensations.   
Carol Preston was still his list of most disliked people somewhere with his own father and Garcia Flynn. Carol had seen him a few times, treating him to cold politeness that seemed to indicate she blamed him solely for her daughter’s “indiscretion”. Lucy retreated into herself each time she saw her mother, the discomfort obvious on her face. It was hard to see her change with her mother’s whim. He was used to the take-charge Lucy who did what she wanted regardless of other people’s conflicting ideas. But with her mother, she was quiet and subservient. It was all too close to how he’d been with his father. Obeying him unquestioningly because the alternative was too dangerous to contemplate.

 

Mason Industries was prepared for Lucy’s pregnancy. The doctor on call was competent and in some ways, it was safer to be there than at home with the necessity of going by car to the hospital. Lucy wasn’t willing to be sidelined by the potential of delivery and they’d had at least a dozen fights over her working too hard.  
“You’re so tired you can’t keep your head up. You’ll hurt the baby.” Wyatt knew that arguing she’d hurt herself was particularly ineffective. She didn’t believe it.  
“I’m fine. I talked to the doctor. As long as I sit I’m fine.” Her eyes indicated she had no intention of budging.   
“Did you tell her how tired you are?”   
Her slight shrug indicated she hadn’t. Frustration welled up because sometimes a mule would be more compliant than she was. She pushed herself with a rugged determination that would have made his military training a snap if it had been directed differently.   
“Yeah, well I’m fine. At least I sleep when I work. You can’t possibly understand how scared I am. I feel this baby growing and I’m so scared I can’t protect them. I can’t keep them safe once they’re born.”  
He did understand that. But it couldn’t possibly feel the same for him as for her. Her jerky movement to brush away a tear brought his arms around her. “I know this is hard. But just be a little careful, won’t you?”  
She finally nodded. He wasn’t under the illusion the fight was over. Lucy wasn’t even aware when she was overdoing it, tiredness and sleep deprivation seemed to be her constant, and she was stubborn as hell. The constant fear that something would happen to her lingered. Something was wrong. He sensed it but couldn’t determine why.  
“Umm… Wyatt, you better come now.” Jiya’s anxious voice broke into his time spent filtering out Rittenhouse names and combing through records. Lucy had gone to lie down in the breakroom. He’d followed her and made her a cup of tea before she’d sent him back. She hated being smothered.  
He was up and racing towards the break room before she could utter another word. Lucy had her hand pressed to her stomach and the doctor was already helping her up. “She’s delivering, Mr. Logan. Her water just broke.”  
“But she’s early.” The doctor only laughed.  
“Babies come according to their own schedule. But not to worry. She’s doing fine.”  
The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever. Lucy was starting to get contractions closer together and had her eyes screwed shut. Rufus was glued to his side, equally helpless and making a desperate attempt to be helpful.  
“My daughter should be surrounded by her family.” Carol Preston was kicking him out. And technically she had a right as Lucy’s durable power of attorney had her mother listed as her decision maker. He was just the baby’s father. Not Lucy’s husband. Or even an official partner. It wasn’t the place to make a scene. He saw Carol’s look of triumph. Carol knew she had him and he hated her for it. He tried remaining calm. He’d delivered a baby once before but it hadn’t been his kid or Lucy. He paced back and forth, boring a hole through the floor.  
“She kicked you out?” Rufus’s low whistle wasn’t particularly encouraging. Being reminded that your baby’s grandma and girlfriend’s mother hated you was not exactly fun.  
“She hates me and probably I would agree if I were her.”   
Jiya came out and whispered urgently, “Lucy’s asking for you.”  
Take that, Carol. He saw the anger in her eyes as he took Lucy’s hand. She was trying to watch TV but it was going to be a long night. The doctor had warned that first-time mothers often took much longer to deliver.   
“I really want to kill you right now.” Lucy gritted out.   
An apologie sounded insincere so he just massaged her shoulders and back. Delivery was like a war. A fight against nature and kind of horrifying. Blood and pain were not new but the amount of sheer guts it took to deliver a human into the world was an awe-inspiring process. Even Carol stopped glaring at him and focused on helping her daughter.   
Finally, the baby was here. Covered in blood and mucus but healthy. When the doctor handed him the scissors to cut the cord it felt unreal. Like he was watching a movie. This child was his?   
“It’s a boy.” The doctor’s words cut across the room as he started squealing. “And he’s got a very healthy set of lungs.”  
Lucy reached out and held her arms out. “I want to see.”  
The doctor placed his son in her arms. “He’s nine pounds one ounce. He’s gonna be a big boy.”  
Lucy’s face was plastered with sweat but the tears glittering in her eyes were new. Now that their son was clean he could see his face so clearly. The chin was all Lucy’s. The nose was his. The boy blinked his eyes open and he saw the vivid blue. He’d clearly inherited the blue eyes from his father. Unless his eyes turned dark like Lucy’s. Either way, they were gorgeous. He was a beautiful child. Hands shaking and tears falling from his eyes he reached out and grasped a tiny hand. The instant curl of fingers around his finger sent a shockwave of warmth through him.  
This was what love felt like. Warm and soft and so terrifyingly vulnerable. This little tiny nine-pound infant had the power to destroy him. He had the power to break his heart as nothing else could. Suddenly he could understand why Garcia Flynn had torn through space and time to save his daughter. This baby was his. Protecting this child was his mission. Nothing was more important. Except for keeping Lucy safe. They were his family.  
“He’s beautiful.” Lucy’s choked gasp made him smile.  
“He is. The most beautiful.”   
They had discussed names. Henry for a boy and Anna for a girl. “Well, Henry Sherwin Preston Logan, you’re a little charmer. Dad already promises to protect you. And teach you how to be a good boy.”   
Lucy shook her head, “I wish Amy was here.”   
Better not think of Amy. Not when Carol was standing there. She appeared unmoved. Henry was just a name to her. She didn’t remember the love of her life had died. Carol stepped closer and reached out to stroke Henry’s cheek. “He’s a beautiful boy.”  
She sounded approving for the first time. Lucy gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Oh mom, I’m so happy.”  
Carol sent her an odd look. “I’m glad dear. Being a mom will change your life.”  
There was something oddly sinister in the way she said it. Wyatt told himself he was getting paranoid. Clearly becoming a father made him suspicious of everything. Letting either Lucy or Henry out of sight was terrifying. Any moment he expected them to disappear. A flash of something and then gone.   
Lucy was asleep. The long night before had worn her out completely. Henry was sleeping in his bassinet looking so innocent and small. “Hey, little guy.”  
Henry didn’t move, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in his father’s mind. “I love you, I know I might not be the best father but you can count on your mom to be the best ever. And she’ll keep me from being like my father. I promise I will protect you.”   
“I trust you.” Lucy’s soft whisper startled him. “We’ll protect him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it might seem anti-climatic having baby Henry arriving so soon but we have a lot more story left to cover. It might also seem like Wyatt is much more open to a full-on relationship with Lucy than he was in canon. I agree but I think that even canon Wyatt would have pretty much instantly resolved to be with Lucy if she'd turned up pregnant in season 1. I also took Arika's (the writer of 2.12) idea that there were six months between Lucy coming home from saving her grandfather and the possibilities speech. In this case, though the possibilities speech occurs sometime in the early part of these six months. I needed Lucy to be no longer pregnant at the start of season 2.   
> I know that everything seems really happy but I'll warn you, angst is happening. RH has some truly diabolical plans in store for Lyatt. But don't worry, the ending is a happy one. I will make some changes from canon because Lucy and Wyatt are so much closer in this version at the same point. That being said, the closeness is a double-edged sword because they also have the power to break each other much quicker.


	4. Part 3 Part 1

Life seemed separated between before and after Henry. Until she finally had to confess her pregnancy to Wyatt it had seemed like a dream or a nightmare. The moment she’d seen his shocked and heartbroken face she’d realized just how terrible her decision to keep it a secret had been. She knew he was mad at her. And she also knew she deserved it. While it was her body and her baby not telling him was something she knew crossed a line. What had started as a protective measure had ended up nearly destroying them.  
He obviously thought she was ashamed of him. Ashamed that she was having a baby with someone that was so different than her usual boyfriends. Truth be told a few months ago she never would have dreamed about having a baby with a guy like him. But not for the reasons he thought. It wasn’t about him not being smart enough, good enough or kind enough. The ghost of Jessica lingered, making her feel like both she and her baby would be a liability. It hurt so badly thinking of how she would always be tied to him. The baby would always be the thing preventing him from getting Jessica back. It wasn’t like they had been lovers. It had all started with a one night stand.  
“I’m not sure how this whole thing started. I mean, we were careful.” Lucy closed her eyes, trying not to notice how happy she was to be sitting here, wrapped up in his arms.   
“Yeah, about that.” He hesitated, eyes looking at her with actual shame, “I think they might have been expired.”  
She almost laughed. Then the realization that the condoms might have been about five years old struck her. As in, from the era when Jessica was alive. “Wait, that means you don’t invite every attractive female to your house to ravish them?”  
“No,” She gave him a skeptical look and he admitted, “I mean I’m not saying that there haven’t been women, but it was more casual. Never invited anyone home. Usually was too drunk anyway.”  
It put the whole thing in a totally different context. Knowing she had been the first woman he’d actually brought home shocked her. She’d known he was hung up on Jessica’s death but from the way he’d asked her to come she had assumed it was a regular occurrence. What had he seen in her to tempt him to ask her? Had the same strange pull been in his mind when he asked her?

Lucy ought to have known she couldn’t keep her pregnancy a secret much longer. Jiya had kept her secret admirably but her reaction to Rufus’s breakfast tipped him off. Agent Christopher was a calming influence but even she looked alarmed with Rittenhouse closing in on them. Lucy shuddered at the idea that her creepy father would ever get his hands on her or her baby.  
Wyatt promised to protect her. She didn’t want to be protected. But she wasn’t naive enough to believe she could take care of the baby solely by herself. She wasn’t a soldier. She couldn’t fight off Rittenhouse like that.   
She understood Garcia Flynn who’d torn up history to get his daughter back. Pressing her hand to her stomach she thought of what she would do if someone murdered her child. She had to win against Rittenhouse. She had to use every and all methods at her disposal. 

 

Talking to Noah was one of the hardest things she had ever done. Admitting that she was pregnant, but not with his kid and trying to tell him she hadn’t cheated on him even though to him she had was impossible. She finally decided to simply break it off.   
“I just don’t think this will work. I’m not the person you think I am.” She finally finished. “You need to be with the person you’re meant to be with. And it isn’t me.”  
“It’s about that guy.” He began.  
“What guy? Wyatt? Oh no, it’s not about him.” Lucy could tell how unconvincing her words were, even to herself. She flushed guiltily all too aware of the proof of how much of a lie that was lying deep in her belly.  
“You’re pregnant, aren't you?” Noah’s words made her start in panic. She pulled away, feeling guilty for something she hadn’t even done. She hadn’t even known Noah back then.  
“Why would you think that?” She asked.  
“Because you look like it.” Noah sighed, “Ok, I see that you’re right. You aren’t the woman I knew. The woman I knew would never cheat on me.”  
“I didn’t.” Lucy felt a flash of anger but not against Noah. She hadn’t cheated. That night had been amazing and the idea that it would be tainted by talk of infidelity angered her.  
“I don’t know how you can explain it otherwise,” Noah replied.  
“It’s complicated,” Lucy admitted. “I would explain it if I could. But it’s not what you think.”   
“Forget about it, Lucy. I don’t understand but I hope you have a good life.” She watched him walk away. It was disturbing but she found herself relieved knowing she didn’t have to worry about him any longer.  
Her mother was a different story. “I can’t believe you cheated on Noah with your coworker.”  
“It happened in a moment of weakness. But I broke up with Noah. I can’t have him go through this.” Lucy flushed and bit her nails. She had broken herself of the habit but right now she wished she could down a glass of vodka.   
“I can’t believe you’d do something like that. I raised you better than this.” Carol Preston could put so much disdain in a few simple words. Lucy retreated into her shell, the pain of her mother’s displeasure weighing on her.   
“I want to meet this man.” Carol’s voice was hard and terrifying.  
“Mom, he didn’t force me into anything. You don’t need to play the ‘you ruined my daughter thing’” Lucy knew Wyatt was fully capable of handling her mother. But she didn’t want her mother treating her like a child in front of him. The shame of having her mother publicly chastise her would be all too embarrassing.

 

In the end, it wasn’t her mother’s anger that most affected her. Rittenhouse was closing in on them and there was no choice but get into a Lifeboat created to only take three people. It now had four plus her baby. The nauseating jolts made her sick as she fought back the even worse terror at what she’d done to her innocent baby. The fear of being captured by Rittenhouse was worse. What happened to Iris wouldn’t happen to her.   
Garcia Flynn walked into the room as she stood there waiting. “Your Wyatt is fine.”  
“What are you doing here?” Lucy knew that he knew she was pregnant. His gaze fell on her stomach and the slight bulge that was covered by her suit jacket.   
“I am taking Rittenhouse out at the source. That means I don’t know what will happen to you. I’m sorry.” His voice was quiet, cold and detached. Panic soared through her. He wouldn’t do this. He wouldn’t take one thing more from her. He wouldn’t take her baby. Not her child. She would let him erase her but not her baby. Her mind began to work. She had to stop him. She had to convince him that this was a terrible idea.  
“I don’t believe you want to do this. I believe you want me to stop you.” Her voice rose, panic making it crack but determination rising. She would stop him.   
“I fully intend on stopping them. By any means necessary.” He replied.   
“I believe even you would hesitate to erase a baby from existence.” Lucy went on, “That journal must mention the baby. Are you willing to do that?”  
“It’s a far better fate than what happened in the journal.” She saw him hesitate and then reply, “Goodbye Lucy.”  
She found Wyatt outside but her legs were shaking so hard she was glad he grabbed her arm and situated her against a wall. Flynn’s words terrified her. What if erasing her baby was the best and kindest thing? What if her child had been murdered as his child had been? What if her child had died a painful death? The mere thought of it made her want to tear her hair out.   
She knew there was a risk in situating herself between Wyatt and Flynn. They were like two opposing magnets and she wasn’t unaware that in doing so she’d created a strange kind of triangle. Wyatt wouldn’t shoot if she was in the slightest danger but Flynn was an unknown quantity. She told him she thought he was a lonely broken man but the unspoken word was that if he followed through and killed her grandfather Lucy would be his enemy in earnest. She might not be around to carry it through but Wyatt would. He would avenge their disappearance. And never stop just like Flynn hadn’t stopped searching for vengeance for his family.   
“Do you trust me?” She saw the look in Wyatt’s eyes. The reluctance to trust Flynn combined with the steady determination to do what she wanted.  
“Yes,” the words were simple but meant a lot. Wyatt didn’t trust easily. And he trusted her. He put down his gun first. A gesture of surrender that must have called his pride.   
“I lost you once, I can’t lose you again.” The glitter of unshed tears made her heartache. He held her close. She didn’t want to do this. But Jiya had to get back and she had to complete the task. She wanted to stay here, wrapped in his arms, for a long time soaking in the gentle warmth and tenderness.   
She stepped out of the Mothership barely able to keep her balance as the swirling dizziness threatened to overwhelm her. Emma only snorted disagreeably as she vomited into the trash can she’d managed to find. Flynn watched her with an unreadable expression on his face. Resentment and sympathy curled in her stomach. She wanted to help him get his family back. She wanted to hate him for nearly destroying hers. She didn’t know how to deal with these conflicting emotions.  
She managed to get an Uber to the park she was supposed to meet Wyatt at. He was waiting, hands in his pockets and even from a distance she could see the hard line of his jaw. The terror in his blue eyes was startlingly evident. He reached for her, pulling her close and holding her as he choked out, “You’re ok.”  
“Nauseated and sick but ok.” She replied.  
“He didn’t hurt you?” His voice was scarily quiet.  
“No, I think this thing could be over.” 

The next stage in their fight to take down Rittenhouse might have been boring to Wyatt but was a relief to her. Paperwork, spreadsheets with rows and columns of neat data and endless research was what she did best. The familiarity of the work soothed her. Sitting in a comfortable chair in Mason industries pouring through data was easy. Her pregnancy was easier than some but it still exhausted her. The nausea was still ever present, she’d begun to gain a lot of weight and her body seemed constantly fatigued.   
It didn’t help that her mother was still trying to fix things between herself and Noah. Lucy suspected Noah hated her but her mother claimed Noah was willing to take her back if she Lucy just came to her senses and realized what she was giving up. Her mother’s constant veiled barbs at Wyatt, her new job and her pregnancy made her feel like she was a child again. She slept frequently in the breakroom at Mason in the comfortable couch and avoided spending time at home.   
She was frankly blown away by Wyatt’s offer to take her in. She knew he was only doing it to make her more comfortable, she was after all his baby’s mother, but it still touched her heart.   
“You know you were right when you said we needed to stop living in the past and look to the future. Right now, the future is you and this little boy.” Wyatt laid a hand on her growing stomach. “I think I need to be open to the possibilities.”  
““Possibilities of what?” She asked. The smile was growing on her face.  
“Family. Being a real family.”  
She couldn’t help throwing herself in his arms. It felt like she didn’t have much family left with Amy and her father gone, her real father being Rittenhouse and her mother being difficult. He felt like safety and home. She and her baby were his family. Something suspiciously like joy settled deep in her gut. She saw him lean in and her breath caught in anticipation. She wanted to feel the magnetic pull of his kiss. She’d felt it during their fake kiss in front of Bonnie and Clyde but even more strongly during that one night together.   
Mason ended up interrupting and the moment was lost. Disappointment welled up in her but she was gratified to notice he looked as disappointed as she felt. Somehow it didn’t feel like the right time. She was moving in with him, though. Right now she was just a roommate but perhaps, perhaps that might change. Telling her mother would be a difficult thing.  
“Lucy, you are moving in with him?” Her mother’s voice rose octave by octave, the pure horror making her want to smile.  
“Yes, it makes sense,” Lucy replied.   
“Why are you doing this? You don’t need to be with him to raise a child. I mean I didn’t move in with your father just because I got pregnant.” Her mother was clearly trying and failing to rein in her temper.  
“I love Wyatt, and we are going to raise this child together.” It was both a truth and a fabrication. She did love him, they were raising this child together but his heart belonged forever to Jessica. This isn't a fairytale love story.   
“You know he’s just using you. He always used you. You can do so much better.” Her mother’s voice made her cringe. It reminded her that her position was one timeline away from disaster.   
Wyatt’s new apartment was much bigger and nicer than his previous one. It was clearly one meant for a family not a single guy. He said they had given him this one but she knew he must have gotten some strings pulled. He was taking this family thing seriously. She moved over to stand next to him, her arms instinctively settling around his waist. It felt so comfortable. She saw his eyes change, the laughter die out of them as she moved closer. His hand came up to cup her cheek, intent clear in his face. She leaned closer still, heart in her throat.   
Just then the doorbell rang. It had to be Rufus and Jiya. She smothered her disappointment but she knew it wasn’t a very good attempt. And how could it be a good attempt when he was looking at her as if he wanted to push her against the counter and rip all her clothes off? She hoped neither Rufus or Jiya would pick up on the vibes because it would be a very long night if they did. Jiya could be trusted not to make an awkward moment but Rufus was always on the lookout for making them uncomfortable.   
She and Jiya were putting away her clothes in the closet when her phone rang. It was her mother. With a sigh, she picked it up. Jiya slipped out of the room leaving her alone with the phone and her mother. The minute her mother began speaking she wished Jiya had stayed. Her mother seemed hell-bent on making her feel as small as possible. She started on Lucy’s weight. Then moved to how Wyatt was going to dump her and leave her with a broken heart. Lucy’s heart felt all too vulnerable realizing that her mother was all too right on that.  
“He hasn’t gotten over his wife’s death. You really think you can replace her. I’m not saying this to be cruel. I just want to protect your.” The sympathy in her mother’s voice sounded genuine. Lucy shuddered, the pain of knowing all too well what could happen. If Jessica came back her heart would be totally broken. Not just because she’d lost a man who wasn’t hers but because she’d lose her baby. ANd that was a completely different matter.  
Jiya found her quietly crying. “What’s going on?”  
Lucy told her the whole story. Jiya sat and listened as she poured out everything. “First of all, you’re mother’s obsession with your weight is her problem, not yours. It’s none of her business how much you weigh and your weight has no bearing on the kind of person you are. And your mother is being pretty obvious. She doesn’t want you with Wyatt so she’s trying to keep you living at home.”  
“You know as well as I do that she is kind of right about the Jessica thing.” Lucy impatiently brushed the tears away. “It’s not even about loving him. It’s about the baby. I’m so panicked that one day I’ll wake up and it's all gone.”  
“But we aren't traveling anymore,” Jiya said.  
“I’m scared that something will happen. I know it’s illogical but I’m scared.” Lucy was thankful that Jiya didn’t laugh at her fears. She only put her arms around her.  
“Lucy, you’re gonna be fine. I know you are. And Wyatt really likes you. He looks at you as if you hang the moon.” Jiya smiled. “Even if he didn’t like you he’s stuck with you. You’re his kid's mom.”  
Lucy nodded. Jiya’s words hadn’t made her feel much better but at least she didn’t feel like going hysterical. She saw Jiya and Rufus out and then continued taking boxes into the other room. She passed Wyatt’s room on the way to her own and couldn’t resist peeking in. It was clean and neat as usual but she noticed the bulletin board with newspaper clippings was gone. Rufus had said it was full of leads on Jessica’s death. She felt something pass over her suspiciously like hope.   
A night of watching TV and resting seemed the only way to go. The day had been physically and emotionally exhausting and being pregnant zapped her of energy. Sighing she settled herself on the couch. Wyatt came in a few minutes later looking way too handsome to stop her from staring at him when his attention was fixed on the TV. He hated whatever stupid show she liked but he was more interested in holding her close and stroking up and down her arm. Her body was keyed up in a way it had never been. Not even that night. Her skin felt like it was literally burning up, heat flooding her. It had to be being pregnant. Her doctor had mentioned the possibility of an increased sex drive in an off hand and clinical way. Lucy had discounted it happening to her because for the first few months of her pregnancy sex was the furthest thing from her mind. She was too nauseated and miserable to want to do anything. Now she understood why the doctor would mention it. She’d felt the desire growing slowly inside of her building to a fever pitch. So far she’d dealt with it on her own allowing herself the freedom to fantasize all she wanted. The fact that all her fantasies had so far involved the man who was currently holding her close made it all too difficult to handle. She was so wrapped up in her own feelings it took a second to notice him staring at her, intent just as potent in his eyes. She slowly gathered up the courage to say, “I managed to find an opening in my busy schedule.”  
Later, lying there exhausted and happy she was startled awake by a weird feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t explain how it felt except she knew instinctively her baby had moved. She’d felt traces before but they had been so fleeting she had wondered if she imagined them. She pressed his hand against her stomach. “He moved.”  
She saw his face brighten as they waited for the baby to move again. Then she felt it again. His eyes brightened as the flutter continued. “Wow.” The awed tone made her smile because she felt the same way.   
She yawned as a wave of exhaustion struck her. Lucy closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off only conscious that his hand still rested on her belly as if he was waiting for more movements.

Lucy settled into a new routine. Get up, fight the morning nausea and then get to work. Look through stacks of Rittenhouse papers and data. Watch pointless TV at home with Wyatt or try to hang out with Rufus and Jiya. Keeping up with her constant and weird food cravings was difficult since she hated cooking. Sometimes it felt like she ate nothing except mac and cheese, Mexican food and takeout Chinese food.   
Her anxiety was constant. Some days it was difficult just getting to work with the perpetual terror that something would go wrong. She tried hiding it because it was embarrassing to admit she's become an emotional basket case. But she suspected she hadn’t actually hidden it from Jiya or Wyatt. Jiya wisely just encouraged her and tried to take her mind off her fears.   
Wyatt was a totally different story. He was being overprotective and driving her crazy. After the millionth “Are you ok?” she honestly wanted to strangle him. She knew she was cross and difficult but her feet hurt constantly, she felt as if she was hauling a whale along every time she moved, she had to pee every five minutes and her baby had a healthy kick that made her feel like her insides were being punched every few minutes.  
“ Are you sure you should be staying late?” Lucy looked up to see him standing in the doorway to their office in Mason Industries. The whole “Time Team” as Rufus called them had cubicles in one big room. Rufus and Jiya were having dinner somewhere and Lucy was glad they had a semblance of normalcy in the middle of the shifting situation. Wyatt’s question set her off. She wanted to scream, hurl her pen at him or otherwise do him harm.   
“I’m fine.” Lucy knew her tone was final and hopefully, he’d shut up. Unfortunately, none of her thunderous looks had any effect on him.   
“I know this is hard. But please, just take care of yourself. And talk to the doctor about how much you should push yourself.” He sat down in his own seat in the cubicle next door. Technically they were just desks with walls that gave a semblance of privacy. They reminded Lucy of the library section at Stanford.   
“Wyatt, do you know how sick I am of this? You don’t have a right to tell me what to do with my body. Ok. I am fine.” Lucy let out an angry huff before turning back to her work.   
“I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I just worry about you. About how your running away from your problems by working.” He tried touching her arm but she jerked away.  
“That’s rich coming from you.” Lucy snorted and tried to blink away the tears. She was so mad she was actually crying. Well, maybe she wasn’t mad. Maybe she knew deep down that he was right. That she was pushing herself because letting herself think meant the anxiety hit and she couldn’t handle that.  
She glanced up to see the pained look on his face. For once he hadn’t retorted back. Normally this conversation turned into a screaming match that finally ended in them both grudgingly apologizing for blowing up. But this particular barb had struck too close to home. God, she hated herself for saying it. He’d used work to run away from Jessica’s death, throwing himself into this project because he hoped the danger would distract him from his pain.   
“I’m sorry. That was out of line.” Her anger evaporated as she sat there.   
“It’s true. I don’t want to be that person anymore. What kind of dad does that? I don’t want to be that person.” Lucy stepped forward and flung her arms around him, not an easy thing in a cheap office chair with the ever-present stomach in the way.  
“Listen, you aren't going to run away. Neither am I. We’re in this for the long haul. This baby isn’t going to grow up with the same parents as either of ours.” Lucy lifted her head to look him straight in the eye.  
“Yeah,” She could see he wasn’t convinced. “And I’m sorry for smothering you. I just worry when I see you so tired all the time.”  
“It’s easier than being anxious all the time. I can’t sleep because the baby moves all the time and my thoughts won’t shut off.” Lucy closed her eyes feeling the weight of so much exhaustion settle over her.   
“Ok, tell you what. Finish up in thirty minutes and then we’ll go home and have some dinner. And then I have a surprise for you.” Lucy lifted her eyebrows. He was smiling again with that “I’ve got something on you” smirk.  
“Ok. Sounds good.” She went back to her work, stomach growling with hunger.   
One of the many things she’d discovered moving in with Wyatt was that he was a pretty good cook. She wasn’t trusted to cook anything, not even popcorn after she nearly set the house on fire when she tried making a frozen meal. He was already making dinner when she walked through the door. Lucy couldn’t suppress a smile. She was one lucky woman. Most women would kill to have someone cook them dinner. She did all the laundry and dishes, two tasks he hated but she didn’t mind, but it was still a nice thing.   
The stroganoff smelled delicious as she leaned against the counter. He smiled at her before giving her a quick kiss. “Something tells me you’re starved right now.”  
“I am.” She gave him a pointed look. “The baby is constantly hungry which makes me constantly hungry.”  
“Well, there is plenty here.” She started on the dishes in the sink wondering at how quickly she’d settled into life at his house. She still thought of it as his house despite the fact that she contributed in rent. It was strange. They were definitely dating, planning to raise a family together and otherwise acted like a couple. But Lucy was constantly on edge, waiting for the next shoe to fall in the shape of Jessica.   
The stroganoff was amazing. She inhaled her food feeling the relief of being full again. They talked about the work they were doing, nothing particularly exciting, before she finished the dishes and turned to him, “Someone promised a surprise.”  
“I did, didn’t I?” He smiled again before grabbing her hand. “Come on.”  
Stepping into the other room, technically it was hers but she never slept in here, to find the walls painted in soft pastels. “I thought this would be good for the baby.”  
“Oh my god.” Lucy glanced around at the beautiful sunset pattern. “What? Who?”  
“I had Marina do it.” Lucy knew Mason’s administrative assistant was a talented artist. She hadn’t expected him to have the room painted like this.  
“Wyatt it’s beautiful.” She turned around with tears in her eyes.  
“I just thought if you didn’t like it Marina promised she could paint over it. She said she was sure you’d like it.”   
“I love it.” Lucy found herself tearing up which was ridiculous considering it was just a wall painting. She wrapped her arms around him and tilted her head to kiss him. “I love you.”  
“I love you.” He leaned down to kiss her again before placing a hand on her stomach. “I love you too. Can you please be good for your mom and not jump around so much?”

 

That night she lay next to him, mind still whirring like a fan, even as her body relaxed into the bed. They’d ended up making love in the hallway pressed against the wall. They probably wouldn’t have even made it there if she hadn’t protested that they shouldn’t be having sex where their child would be sleeping. There was always a twinge of desperation in each of their encounters as if it was going to be their last. She still hadn’t gotten used to the fact that he was hers and not going to leave her.   
“Wyatt, what are you going to do when you have to go back?” Lucy hated bringing it up but she had to. When he left to go back to Pendleton he would be leaving her to raise the baby. She had been fully prepared to be a single mom but it would be complicated.   
“I was thinking…” she saw him turn towards her in the dark eyes fixed on her face. “I was talking to Mason about getting a job there as security.”  
“You mean leaving the Army?” Lucy’s voice rose in shock.   
“Yeah, I know a lot of people have kids but I just want to be around for him or her. I don’t want to have them not know what their dad looks like. And things are more complicated because you have a life here.”   
Lucy wasn’t sure what to say. What could she say? He was clearly acting out of his sense of duty to her and the baby. He might be fine with giving up his job now but what happened a few years down the line?  
“I am fine, Wyatt. You know I’m perfectly capable of doing things.” She wondered why he drew away imperceptibly.   
“I know. I just don’t want you to have to do that. And besides, I think it’s time.” Wyatt reached out and touched her arm. “I can see you worrying.”  
Lucy couldn’t say the words. But Wyatt hadn’t wanted to have kids with Jessica. Now suddenly he was determined to have a child with her. It was confusing because somehow he was willing to do something with her he hadn’t been with Jessica. It had to be because he was older and wiser.   
“I’m fine. But just don’t rush into this decision.” 

 

The day the baby came Lucy woke up feeling off. She couldn’t explain it but she felt it. She almost didn’t go into work but spending hours alone or with a panicked Wyatt was even more unpleasant. She settled herself in her chair only to find herself being disturbed by contractions. She’d been having Braxton Hicks ones for some time but these felt much more real. Still, at first, they weren’t enough to keep her from continuing her work.  
Finally, they got bad enough that she ended up calling the doctor. She stopped by Mason’s infirmary, the doctor waiting for her. Jiya went with, her steadiness helping her. Lucy had been horribly embarrassed when her water broke in the elevator. Jiya only patted her shoulder and murmured positive statements.  
“You are going into labor, Lucy.” The doctor confirmed what was already abundantly obvious.  
“Today?” Lucy asked weakly. She wasn’t ready.  
“Today or tomorrow. It can last a long time, especially for a first pregnancy.”   
Jiya offered to get Wyatt while Lucy waited with the doctor. The contractions were starting in earnest but Lucy knew they’d get much worse. She’d been reading so many baby books she felt as if she’d memorized them.   
“Oh my god.” Wyatt looked more panicked than he’d ever been facing any of the death-defying situations they’d been on. “It’s today.”  
“Yep.” Lucy reached out a hand. “Help me up and we’ll drive to the hospital.”  
“Ok.” He calmed down at her matter of fact tone. Jiya followed behind, picking up her purse and overnight bag she’d actually had the foresight to pack for this very purpose. Lucy closed her eyes as another wave of pain hit. So far they were pretty far apart but they still hurt like hell. The ride seemed to take forever though Lucy was sure he broke a few speed limits to get to the hospital.  
Her mother ended up appearing just as she was admitted. Carol Preston established herself like a queen. She was all sympathy and understanding but she made sure everyone did what she wanted.  
“Where is Wyatt?” Lucy opened her eyes and glanced at her mother.  
“He’s getting something to eat.” Her mother replied. That was odd. Wyatt wasn’t the kind of person to leave her alone to get something to eat. Jiya was sitting beside her mother, looking visibly uncomfortable.   
When her mother got up to get some ice chips for her Jiya leaned over and whispered, “Your mother kicked him out. Said he wasn’t a relative and she was on your durable power of attorney.”  
Lucy felt a wave of intense anger. She couldn’t say it surprised her since her mother had been against this match from the start. But she hadn’t realized exactly how bad it was until now. Her mother came back excluding that calm efficiency she was known for. “Are they any closer together?”  
They were but for once Lucy wasn’t focused on the pain. “I can’t believe you tried to kick Wyatt out. Get him back or else I will tell the doctor.”  
“There is no need to have him here. He’ll just get in the way.” Her mother’s calmness was provoking. Lucy shook her head.  
“No, I need him now.”   
Her mother gave an offended sigh and disappeared. A few minutes later he came in looking alarmed. Lucy motioned to a chair. The hours past painfully slowly, the only change was increasingly painful and prolonged contractions. By midnight she was exhausted and strung out.  
“You know I really hate you right now.” She gritted out. Her mother was asleep in her chair but Wyatt was still awake. She saw him smile, though thankfully it wasn’t his trademark smirk before he leaned forward and massaged her back. It was the only reply he could give that didn’t set her off.   
Eventually, all things come to an end, even labor. Lucy couldn’t pay attention to a concept like time when the pain was getting worse and she had to push and it felt like she was battling with her own body. Nothing she’d experienced prepared her for this. It wasn’t just pain but the whole having a baby thing was different. Her mother was surprisingly helpful, speaking in calm tones as fought on.   
Then it was over. The doctor took her baby up and handed Wyatt the scissor to cut the cord. Then they were washing the baby and she could hear the slap before the piercing cry of an infant.   
“It’s a boy.” The doctor was smiling as he carefully inspected the boy. “He’s got a healthy set of lungs.”  
Lucy reached out her arms for the boy who was already being wrapped in a blanket. The nurse placed him in her arms. “He’s a big boy. Nine pounds one ounce.”  
Lucy felt tears running down her cheeks as she gazed down at her baby. He opened his eyes and gazed up at her. The chin was her own. The Preston chin. His nose was more like Wyatts. The blue eyes that gazed up at her were bright blue, only a shade or two darker than his father’s. Of course, his eyes might change but Lucy hoped they stay blue. They were such pretty eyes. Lucy pressed a kiss to his soft little cheek. Warm, softness flowed through her. He was perfect. She loved him fiercely, with a love that would do literally anything for him. Wyatt was kneeling beside her. He reached out a hand and grasped one tiny hand. The baby looked towards him and then closed his palm around Wyatt’s finger. She could see the sudden change in his eyes. Wyatt absolutely melted as he kept looking at him. If she hadn’t already fallen in love with him she’d be in love with him now. He was clearly absolutely smitten with the baby.   
“He’s beautiful.” Lucy felt awed and shocked at the absolute beauty found in one tiny baby.  
“He is.” She could hear the choking sound echoed in his tone.   
They were silent for a moment. Then she heard him clear his throat and address the baby so seriously it was as if the baby could understand every word. “Well, Henry Sherwin Preston Logan, you’re a little charmer. Dad already promises to protect you. And teach you how to be a good boy.”   
Lucy felt tears come again as she realized Amy wouldn’t ever meet her baby. “I wish Amy was here.”  
She saw her mother start and stiffen as the name passed her lips. Then she came over and kissed Henry on the cheek. “He is a beautiful boy.”  
She sounded approving for the first time. Lucy gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Oh mom, I’m so happy.”  
Carol sent her an odd look. “I’m glad dear. Being a mom will change your life.”  
Lucy blinked as exhaustion claimed her. She felt them take Henry and lay him in his bassinet after she’d fed him. Her mother had gone home. Jiya was off with Rufus finding food.   
She woke up hours later to the sound of a soft voice and a shadow leaning over Henry. “I love you, I know I might not be the best father but you can count on your mom to be the best ever. And she’ll keep me from being like my father. I promise I will protect you.”  
The words made her want to weep. She found herself saying before she could stop herself, “I trust you. We’ll protect him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I am showing some of Lucy's thoughts in this situation so hopefully it won't be repetitive. I feel like some of the conversations she has with Noah, her mom and Flynn are important. I also think she and Wyatt would get into some arguments over her work schedule. Lucy Preston does not appreciate people telling her what to do. Not to mention she's feeling pretty miserable right now. I know it might be a little unrealistic to have her mother sleeping while Lucy is delivering but that's Carol for you. Not exactly normal.   
> I think Lucy is very insecure about Wyatt's feelings and the whole situation as a whole. This insecurity is going to have massive repercussions later. If you notice she seems a little standoffish sometimes that's why.


	5. Part 3 Chapter 2

Henry proved to be bouncing, loud and cheerful baby. Nothing in her life had prepared her for the complete terror and exhaustion she would feel as a mother. The tendency she had towards routines flew out the window as she struggled to keep up. She got snatches of sleep in between feedings and diaper changing and constant anxiety that something terrible would happen.   
“I love you, baby boy.” She held Henry clasped to her chest as she paced back and forth, “But would you give me just a little rest?”  
Henry gave her a look as if to say he wasn’t sure if it was safe to stop crying. “He’s got your vocal powers.”   
She felt Wyatt’s arms slide around her as he stood behind her, one hand reaching out to caress Henry’s cheek. Lucy chuckled, too exhausted to be annoyed. “Umm… pot calling kettle.”  
“Ok, ok. He’s got my recklessness. Oh god, what have we done? He’s going to be a terror.” She laughed a little because they all knew Wyatt was absolutely besotted with this baby and would do anything for him. She felt the same. She’d tear up heaven and earth for him. The mere idea of losing him made her want to scream.   
“Go back to bed, Lucy. I’ll take over from here.” He took Henry from her and gently pushed her towards the door. “You need your rest.”  
“I’m fine.” She replied. He gave her a skeptical look.  
“Lucy, just go to bed. If anything happens I’ll wake you up.”   
She crawled into bed and fell asleep in five minutes flat. Being a mom was wonderful and exhausting. She had a feeling she’d never have a normal night sleep again. But it was worth it.

 

They’d been taking Henry to work and dropping him off at the nursery at Mason where he was never alone for more than five minutes. If she and Wyatt weren’t sneaking down there to make sure he was all right it was Rufus or Jiya or even Christopher herself. She’ d actually seen Mason talking to Henry once. There were a couple of other small children and she started to get to know the other parents.   
“He’s an absolute charmer.” Shelly, one of the other mom’s who worked with Jiya, handed Henry back to her. “I can’t believe you are a new mom. You are an absolute natural.”  
“I’m not. Believe me that I have had multiple waves of panic every hour.” Lucy admired Shelly and thought it was nice to have some friends who were parents.  
“That’s normal. We all go through it.”   
Lucy was summoned to Agent Christopher’s office along with Wyatt. She had been informed that Garcia Flynn had been charged and was awaiting his trial. She had a bone to pick with Christopher over that. She had felt sorry enough for the man when he’d talked about his girls but now that she was a mother she completely understood why he’d done what he had done. Hell, if she had that opportunity she’d have torn up heaven and earth to save Wyatt and Henry.   
“He broke the law. He’ll be given a fair trial.” Agent Christopher was all too calm about it.  
“As a mother wouldn’t you have done the same?” Lucy saw her flinch.  
“No, of course not. He killed many innocent people.”   
The one thing she did get was clearance to go get Amy. Elation floated through her as she considered how her baby would have an aunt in just a few short hours. Amy would probably be waiting for them, Henry in her arms as she played with him and kissed him. It would be perfect. Absolutely perfect.   
“You ready to get Amy back?” Wyatt grinned at her, looking so unaccountably happy and youthful.   
“Of course. But you are coming?”  
“Of course I am. Wouldn’t want to miss this.” Wyatt ran a hand down her cheek and leaned in to give her a kiss. “Once you get your sister back I’m sure she’ll be the best aunt ever.”  
Lucy swallowed hard. It was the hardest thing she’d ever said, “I’m sorry you couldn’t get Jessica back.”  
He looked pained for a moment, “I wouldn’t have Henry, would I? And you. So maybe some things are fate.”  
Lucy didn’t know what to say. For the first time, she actually believed she wasn’t just Jessica’s shadow. She stood up on tiptoe and kissed him. “I need to go see my mom. I’ll be back in an hour.”  
“I guess we can leave him in the nursery here.” Wyatt smiled. “I know Shelly will be thrilled to spend a couple of hours with him.”  
Lucy turned to him. “What if we change something by going back for Amy?”  
“But we were still…” He coughed awkwardly, “In that timeline.”  
“I somehow have to believe this would have happened anyway.” Lucy finished. “Otherwise I couldn’t go.”  
“It will be fine. Just to say goodbye to your mother.” He reached out and kissed her cheek.  
xxxxxxxxxx

Finding out her mother was Rittenhouse was bad. Finding out that her mother had kidnapped her was worse. Finding out Wyatt, Rufus and Henry was dead was the worst. Lucy gave up. She didn’t fight anyone as she lay on her bed pressing her hands against the smooth sheets. She cried for the first week. Crying so hard she was sick and had splitting headaches. Her mother tried forcing pills down her throat that she promptly vomited up. Her breasts ached for her baby filling up with milk until they became painful. Rittenhouse provided her with a pump that she dutifully used because somehow she convinced herself that if Henry was alive he might need her milk. A week after her imprisonment began her milk dried up. She cried harder realizing the last physical tether to her baby was gone. It hurt so unbelievably badly she wasn’t sure she could survive.   
Eventually, she gave up crying. It took too much energy. The cold lethargy that struck her made her feel like the effort of moving any part of her body was too much. She lay there for hours waiting for death. Surely she could die of a broken heart. If she stopped eating her body would eventually stop. Her mother forced food down her but she couldn’t keep any of it down. Eventually, her mother stayed in her room after meals and forcibly held her down to keep her from getting sick. Clearly, her mother cared about nothing except Rittenhouse.   
For six long weeks that was her existence. She didn’t do anything at first except read the newspaper report of the explosion. After about five weeks she began to wonder if Henry was still alive. There was no mention of children being killed and it would be very unusual for the paper to omit that. Not to mention her mother seemed entirely too calm about it. Her mother was many things but killing her own grandchild seemed a bit too much ever for her. Unfortunately, Wyatt and Rufus were clearly gone. The pain of knowing he was gone hurt almost as much as thinking Henry was gone.  
She was madly, passionately, completely in love with him. Those months of living with him had made him so close to her she could hardly think of living apart from him. It might make her pathetic but she didn’t want to live in a world he wasn’t in. Besides, she was stuck with Rittenhouse. There was no going back. They would never let her go. And if she could somehow bring Rittenhouse down then Henry would have a chance at a good life. True, he would have no parents but being raised by someone else would surely be preferable to be raised in Rittenhouse. And she wasn’t even sure he was alive. The fact that they hadn’t brought him to her made her fear the worst.   
She understood why Flynn had stolen the Mothership to tear through time and kill people. She also understood for the first time what his cryptic remark about Henry being better off erased than suffering the fate of his journal self. The idea made her sick. The nightmares were horrible. She dreamed of them all dying a million different ways each one more terrible than the last. 

At last, her mother was on the mission. She tried following up on what they were saying but she couldn’t follow. As she dutifully listened to her mother ramble on about the importance of Rittenhouse she found herself crying softly. Her mother shook her head. “You must make some effort to control your emotions.”  
“I lost the man I love, a bunch of dear friends and my son. You don’t fucking tell me to stop crying.” Lucy saw her mother draw in a breath.  
“Henry may not be dead. I didn't send in the order to bomb Mason Industries. You can be sure I’d never put my grandchild in danger. We thought he was home. As for your friends, they made that choice to defy us. Besides, you know Wyatt didn’t love you. He loved his wife and the second he had an opportunity would abandon you for her. You need to find a man who really does love you. Not one burdened by memories of a dead woman.” Her mother pretended to be comforting but Lucy pulled her arm away.   
“I refuse to discuss this.” Lucy rubbed her eyes and tried to focus on the mission. A plan was beginning to form. She began thinking of it. Her plans were desperate and crazy. Fully as crazy as anything that had come out of the head of Garcia Flynn. Blowing up the Mothership and killing herself and her mother. Madness but somehow with her son’s fate unknown, Wyatt dead and many dear friends like Jiya and Rufus gone it didn’t seem that crazy.   
She swallowed her terror and listened to them. When Emma handed her the gun she shot the man. The look on his face as she killed him would never disappear. She knew she could never atone for that. It reminded her of when Flynn had told her he couldn’t return to his wife and daughter. Could she ever look her innocent son in the face knowing she’d just murdered a man in cold blood so she could stay in Rittenhouse good graces long enough to kill her mother and herself? Then again she wouldn’t be seeing him, would she?

Then she saw him. She knocked into Wyatt with a grenade in her hand and even though she held literal explosives they were nothing to the joy and happiness she experienced as he embraced her. The feeling of those strong arms, which had become her refuge through the months, made tears come to her eyes.  
“You’re alive.” The smile he sent her fairly lit up the tent they were in but it was nothing compared to the mirrored expression on her own face.  
“You’re alive.” Her echo was choked but so real she knew she’d never said a truer statement.  
“Henry?” She asked. The fear over her son’s safety was suddenly so pressing she couldn’t wait for him to finish.   
“He’s fine.” Wyatt’s voice was tender as he ran a hand down her cheek. “He’s fine.”  
He was about to lean down and kiss her, she knew she wouldn’t object, propriety be damned when Rufus came up. And suddenly she was embracing him and telling them what they had to do about the Lifeboat.  
“You were going to blow the Mothership up with you in it?” Wyatt’s voice sounded so panicked as he gripped her arm, so tightly it actually started hurting.   
“I thought you were dead. I thought Henry was dead.” Lucy knew the sudden change on his face was due to a desperate and failed attempt to hide his feelings. He reached for her but she slipped away. “I have to go. My mother is waiting for me.”  
In the end, it was he who saved her from dying by Emma’s hands. Her mother was looking anxious but didn’t seem to do anything concrete to stop her. And even so, Emma had orders not to listen to her mother. The pain of her mother’s betrayal was so punishing that she wondered, being a mother herself if she could ever forgive her.   
She saw the Lifeboat door opening and then she was flying down the steps. Jiya embraced her with a huge bear hug and even Agent Christopher gave her an awkward side hug. Mason actually embraced her as well. They were all distractions against her real goal. Finding Henry.  
He was lying in his bassinet in the corner of the room. It was pushed against the wall of that horrible new place they called home. But she didn’t care. He was looking so old. She realized with a start that he was now nearly three months old. Six weeks stolen away from her. Her precious child was so much bigger. He gave her a startled look as she flew across the room and pulled him into her arms. He felt so substantial in her arms. She felt tears streaming down her face as she kissed his face over and over again. He was crying too but the tears sounded almost as if he was asking her where she’d been. Sobbing she sank unto the bed and held him for dear life. It felt like hours before another person appeared. Wyatt.  
“Lucy,” He wrapped his arms around them both. Lucy was startled to find his face wet with tears. They made a sorry picture as they all sobbed. Finally, she gave a few hiccups and buried her head against his shoulder. “Lucy, it was hell without you. They placed the bomb right next to the Lifeboat. If I hadn’t been half in there I’d have been killed. I came to in the hospital to find that Henry was being taken care of by Christopher and I wasn’t allowed out of the hospital. When I did I kept fighting them to let me go and find you. Henry was a mess. No matter what I did he wanted his mother. He kept looking for you. I tried to keep him happy but I did a crappy job because this is the calmest he’s been since then.”  
Lucy clung to him feeling her arms feel weak from the exhaustion she experienced. She’d lost all her baby weight and possibly a good bit more since her capture. It hadn’t been because they didn’t feed her. She leaned against Wyatt feeling so exhausted she wondered if she would pass out. Only then she realized her body was probably desperate for food. No wonder her milk had dried up.   
“I can’t feed him. It dried up.” Lucy looked down at Henry feeling a profound sense of failure. She’d failed Henry. She’d failed him as a mother even though she’d tried her best.  
“He’ll be ok. He’s using formula. We’re just glad your back.” Wyatt’s voice was soothing as he rubbed a hand up her back. But he couldn’t possibly understand the physical connection she experienced when she fed her baby. And how not being able to felt so much like a failure. She held Henry for a long time feeling the warmth of his soft skin soothe her troubled heart. For the first time since she’d been captured she felt happy.   
Henry had to be fed and then he dropped off to sleep. Her own eyes drooped as she sat there holding him. Finally, she staggered to his crib and put him down. Then she crawled into bed, still dressed in faded sweats, not even bothering to throw the covers over her.   
A few hours later Wyatt slipped into the room. He’d given her a little time alone with Henry but she suspected it had more to do with her fragile mental state than with a parental bonding session. She felt him reach out to pull back the covers, tucking them into place gently. Lips pressed against her forehead. The gesture was so tender that she felt tears come to her eyes. He started to turn towards the door. Why was he leaving? Why was he going?  
“Stay.” Her voice was gravelly with disuse.   
He turned and caught her eye. Then he turned back and crawled in beside her. She felt the warmth of his body against hers for the first time since she’d been captured. The relief seeped into her bones, coloring everything with peace. She plastered herself against him, craving comfort, and felt herself drift away.   
The next morning reality struck. Henry woke them up at five and she blinked sleepily, too happy to know Henry was alive to muster up any annoyance at all that he was crying. Wyatt got up and got the formula from the fridge and handed her Henry and the bottle. He seemed to sense she needed more time with her son. She watched him eat, noticing how he curled his fingers around her arm sometimes. Holding him was such a luxury. Wyatt took him from her and whispered, “He needs to be changed.”   
Lucy started to get up but he shook his head, “You need the sleep.”  
She normally would have argued but she was too tired to even argue which probably indicated that she was too tired. Sighing heavily she crawled back into bed. Now that she was lying down wakefulness struck again. She watched Wyatt change Henry. He’d not be particularly good at it before she’d been captured. Now it looked as if he’d been doing it all his life. She was the clumsy one who didn’t know everything about her son. She didn’t know what his favorite outfit was or exactly what times he woke up. The flash of rage against Rittenhouse and the simultaneous jealousy against Wyatt made her uncomfortable. She wasn’t supposed to feel that way. She heard Wyatt whisper, “Henry, you’re glad you got your mom back, aren't you?”   
Henry gave a little grunt of approval. She saw a rare full smile ease across his dad’s face. Eyes shining he kissed the baby. “Go to sleep, Mom isn’t going anywhere.”  
Lucy closed her eyes again. The picture touched her heart but it also gave her that horrible feeling of jealousy. She felt him get in beside her and wrap an arm around her waist. Slowly her tired body relaxed. 

Agent Christopher put her through a grueling debrief. After she’d finished she went off to her room. Henry was with Jiya and Rufus who were probably playing with them. The jealousy had sparked as she watched Jiya holding the baby and making funny faces and seeing Henry staring at her with so much interest.   
She sank down on the bed. A few minutes later Wyatt came in. “I’m sorry this place isn’t exactly the apartment.”  
Lucy shrugged, “It’s better than being held by Rittenhouse, believe me.”  
“I killed a man. He was a good man. Just trying to help his friend.” Lucy felt the words slide off her tongue and waited for him to start. To turn away and judge her because Lucy didn’t do things like that. He was the soldier. She was an awkward historian.   
“You had to do it. Emma would have done that.” Already he was defending her and she hadn’t even said anything.

“I had to do it so I could get them to trust me so that I could blow up the Mothership.” Lucy shuddered. “I would have done anything to bring them down. Anything.”  
“Emma was going to kill you. She will never trust you. She’s out to get you.” She could hear the anxiety in his tone.  
“My mother will protect me.” The doubt shone through her remark. She knew how her mother treated her.  
“Are you sure about that?”   
Silently she shook her head. “No.”  
The tears were starting to her eyes. She felt them burn as she sat there. “I’ve lost everything.”  
“You haven’t lost me.” The arms that wrapped around her made her feel so much stronger. She buried her face against his shoulder. “You haven’t lost Henry. You have both of us.”  
She lifted her head and pressed her hand against his face, tilting his head until she could reach her lips to his. They hadn’t really kissed since before she’d been captured. The night before had been too emotionally fraught for anything but soft comforting kisses. Now her heart, mind, and body ached for him. The kiss was tender and sweet and then suddenly desperate as if the fear of losing each other was overcoming them.   
“Wyatt.” Her voice came out in a breathy sigh as he trailed his lips down her neck.   
“Lucy.”   
Hands shaking she tried tugging his shirt over his head. Vaguely she was aware that she was probably using him to cope with the pain of losing him and Henry and being betrayed. She didn’t really need the physical connection as much as she needed the reassurance that they weren’t dead. That they were alive and she was alive and they’d make it. Perhaps this wasn’t the best time or method but she didn’t care.   
Gently he disentangled her hands from his shirt. “Lucy,” He started to say something but she cut him off.  
“I know. I know. I’m trying to hide and run. But I just want to forget that I almost lost everything.” She hated the tears that popped up at the end.  
“I know. But I don’t think now is the time. Ok?” Mutely she nodded. He was right. She knew it. But her heart still felt bruised and broken and she hated that feeling. He kissed her gently, the soft gesture warming her in spite of herself.   
“Listen, you guys need to see this.” Jiya stumbled in looking alarmed. “I’m sorry for interrupting.”  
“Didn’t you knock?” She could see the annoyance on Wyatt’s face.  
“I did knock but no one heard me.” Jiya’s tone showed exasperated patience.   
“Ok, we’ll be there.” Lucy started getting up. Jiya disappeared around the corner.   
“Wait,” Wyatt kept his arms around her and tugged her gently back down. “ Listen, once you no longer look like you are trying to run away from the world and crawl in a hole, we’re gonna revisit this.” She blinked a little at the sudden heat in his gaze. “And then, we better hope no ones got a good hearing.”  
Her face flamed with the blatant innuendo. “Hmm.. sweetheart…” Her accent switched into the ridiculous one she’d picked up for Bonnie and Clyde. “What makes you so sure you’ll get lucky?”  
His eyes twinkled as he laughed along with her. Taking her hand he made his way to the door. “Come on. We’ll see what Jiya has to say.”

xxxxxxxxxx

Lucy had expected to adjust to life in the bunker with ease. She had Henry and Wyatt and all the rest. She and Jiya did laundry and chatted. She and Rufus watched the occasional TV show. Even Christopher was giving her parenting advice and helping her soothe Henry.   
Instead, she found herself fighting to go to bed. Every night she exhausted herself into a stupor by researching so she could crawl into bed and hope the nightmares wouldn’t be bad. The nightmares tortured her. Seeing Henry and Wyatt die. Seeing her mother kill her. All of them played over and over in lurid colors in her head. The way she’d been treated in her captivity, the way her mother had taunted her with Wyatt’s lack of feelings for her and the constant terror that Henry would be taken from her made her sick.   
She found herself hiding from Wyatt. He knew how she was feeling all too well. The nightmares, the terror and the sadness was all too familiar to him. She didn’t want to see the knowledge in his eyes. The attempts to change her. It was the arguments over her overdoing in her pregnancy all over again. She was all too weak to withstand his attempts to drag it all out of her. It would be easy for him to do so. And it wasn’t like it was fair. She knew next to nothing about his life. All she did know she’d found out through second-hand information. He certainly didn’t have a problem hiding all his skeletons from her.  
Jessica still haunted her. It was strange a dead woman could make her feel so intimidated but it was true. Her mother’s taunts about her reminded her of how quickly everything could be destroyed. Jessica, Rittenhouse or even their own insecurities could rip them apart quicker than a riptide. And then there would be nothing left.   
“Nice, light morning reading.” Wyatt found her reading the Rittenhouse papers. His eyes were shadowed as he sat beside her.   
“You aren't sleeping.” He got her there. He knew she wasn’t sleeping. He knew she got up and read or made endless cups of tea. He knew her secrets. And she didn’t like it.   
“I’m fine.” Lucy sat up and closed the laptop.   
“Lucy, what did they do to you?” She could sense the fear lying beneath the words.  
“I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine.” She closed her eyes knowing she had to stop him from dragging it out of her. He would too. Bit by bit it would come out until he knew exactly how crazy she had gone without him and Henry to center her back.   
He opened his mouth to argue but she slid forward and pressed her lips to his in an intentionally hard and aggressive kiss. She could sense both pleasure and annoyance as he returned the kiss. He still hadn’t made good on his promise of a few weeks ago but she supposed she’d given him no reason to think her strange state of mind had changed. She was still unstable and her behavior right now was proof of it. She pulled away. “I’m sorry.”   
It had been a horrible thing to do. She saw the look of betrayal on his face as she muttered something about Henry. She’d barely made it to the door of their room when the alarm blared. Emma.   
Wyatt looked even angrier when she proposed a jail room visit to Garcia Flynn of all people. She saw the anger in his eyes as she turned to go with Agent Christopher. Lucy knew she needed the information from Flynn. He was useful to her. And his methods, while cruel, had been effective. She understood now what it was like to lose the people you loved.  
“So, I suppose I should congratulate you. Boy or girl?” His mocking tone set her teeth on edge.  
“Boy.” Lucy bit out. His conversation was destined to make her angry. He called her a lapdog of her mother, mocked her openly and almost refused to give her the information. But he did. She supposed she understood why he said those things. He blamed her for stopping him from finally bringing his family back. But she had far less patience now than she did before.  
“I suppose you still think that you can play this game halfway. But I can imagine how much joy your mother would take in raising your boy as her own.” His voice called over her shoulder. “She won’t kill him. He’s too useful. But Emma...Emma wouldn't hesitate to kill all of you.”  
A shiver passed over her. Flynn’s words brought back her own fears. The fears that had been crippling her ever since she was rescued. She went silently out with Agent Christopher for once thankful Wyatt hadn’t come. He would have attacked Flynn for the words and then she’d have had to deal with his reaction. She needed steadiness and strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the Lyatt fandom is dying out a little. I'm sad to see that happen. I finally got around to updating this little fic. As you can see this chapter does go dark again. Poor Lucy. Losing her baby and the love of her life. That's a lot to deal with.   
> I hated how the show glosses over the pain she went through in Rittenhouse's hands. It breaks my heart. I suspect that Carol didn't know that Henry was at Mason and also knew he didn't die. She didn't know about Wyatt and Rufus. Carol is also gaslighting Lucy when it comes to Jessica which will sadly contribute to the decisions Lucy makes later. I think Lucy is a little jealous of the bunker squad's being around Henry for those six weeks. I think Lucy's mixed up mental state means she's trying to use any distraction possible but we see that for once Wyatt is on to her and won't let her do it.


	6. Part 3 Chapter 3

Traveling back in time was rarely fun. Besides nausea and fear, there was the constant lies and strange uncomfortable customs. But this trip was fun. Even if they were in danger. Watching Wyatt fanboy over the race cars and Rufus see a little known role model made her smile. Lucy was more than a little nervous leaving Henry but after all her presence would keep history from being changed. She didn’t trust Wyatt and Rufus without her. They would be sure to mess something up.  
She found herself happier than she’d been for a long time. Eyes shining she watched Wyatt smile boyishly at the cars and his idol Ryan Millerson. He was adorable. She’d thought he was hot from the start but adorable never would have been a descriptor she would have applied to Wyatt Logan. Now she just wanted to see him smile more like this. Around Henry, he was the closest to this.   
Emma was out to kill them. Her cold blue eyes didn’t flinch as she condemned them to death for killing Ryan Millerson. Lucy didn’t have her mother to protect her. Emma hated her with a passion. And probably hated her more because Lucy’s boy would mean that the Rittenhouse line would continue. And Emma wanted that for herself.  
In the end, they were fine. Lucy shivered at another close call and waited as Wyatt talked to Wendell about his father. It brought tears to her eyes knowing the abuse he’d suffered at the hands of his father. The pain he must have gone through. Her mother had been cruel but even in captivity, she’d never laid hands on Lucy. Any physical violence she’d endured had not been committed by her mother. She wanted to rush over there and wrap her arms around him. Offer him the comfort and sympathy he’d never received as a child. Now it made sense why he’d been so nervous about Henry. He probably feared he’d become his father.   
It was her turn to be nervous trapped in a trunk with Wyatt. The dark sides, combined with her fear of cars, was enough to send her into a tailspin of anxiety. She felt him wrap his arms around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Probably not the best idea for someone so wildly claustrophobic.”  
“I’m fine,” Lucy replied. She heard him chuckle.  
“I’m pretty sure that this car would blow up and you’d still be saying that. Listen, you don’t have to be strong all the time.”   
“Was all that stuff you said about your dad true?” She was deflecting again. She’d gotten so good at it.   
“Yeah,” The soft word was almost too soft to hear. She knew he was telling the truth. He’d never lie about that.  
“At least you didn’t admire him. I thought my mom was wonderful.” Lucy swallowed hard.  
“Oh, I admired him. He was my dad. I kept wondering what I did wrong. Why he didn’t love me. Then I guess I accepted he just didn’t love anyone.”   
“My mother says she loves me. But she let me think you and Henry were dead. She let me think my son was dead, only saying he might be alive. And that at the very end.” Lucy’s anxiety was through the roof. Talking about her mother and being claustrophobic made these moments feel like pure torture.  
“Well, now you know. And you can move on. Nothing ahead but the open road.” His voice soothed her.   
“We have Henry. And we can be sure not to become parents like ours.” Lucy found her mind drifting back to Henry as a security against the mounting fears.  
There was another bump sending him crashing against her. She sighed in relief because this was the kind of distraction she could get behind. Somehow her claustrophobia eased a little when she didn’t feel alone. A hand reached out and tugged her closer. She could feel his lips nuzzle her neck. She was keyed up with so much of every kind of emotion that her heart was already pounding. He’d just settled in, lips just grazing hers when the lid of the trunk abruptly popped open. They blinked at the unaccustomed brightness. Lucy saw Wendell and Rufus’s knowing stares. Busted.  
“I’m sure he was really helping the claustrophobia,” Rufus teased as they made their way back.   
Lucy shrugged, “At least I didn’t have a nervous breakdown. That’s a success.”  
Driving with a bomb might not be unusual for their strange team. She remembered Vegas and their crazy chase of Garcia Flynn in the middle of the desert. It didn’t make this moment any less terrifying. As Wyatt took the curves at speeds she knew were way too dangerous with a pressure sensitive bomb she prayed that Denise Christopher would be a good mom to her Henry. Because at this moment it was looking like her child might be an orphan.   
She ought to have known and trusted Wyatt more. Because somehow he was an absolutely reckless but still incredible driver. She sat there and laughed with them as he just made it into Wendell’s garage with seconds to spare. Rufus was grinning just as broadly as she. And Wyatt was straight on smiling and laughing as if happiness belonged to him. Joy fluttered through her. They weren’t dead. Henry was alive. And somehow they’d survived.   
After the mission debriefs they went to find Henry. Jiya was playing with him, eyes shining as she bounced him up and down. Obviously “Aunt” Jiya was one of their son's favorite people. Lucy laughed as she saw her son bat at Jiya’s hands. He was adorable. Jiya transferred her burden to Lucy. “That kid gets cuter every day. I mean with such attractive parents he’s sure to be a real heartbreaker. That’s right, Sweetie. You’re gonna be the cutest.”  
Lucy chuckled. “He’s a bit adorable but I’m biased.”  
“He’s adorable. Trust me.” Wyatt wrapped an arm around her and used his other arm to support Henry. “Of course his loud voice is totally his mom though.”  
“Oh yes, I mean it’s not like you have a temper.” Lucy teased. Henry was a really good baby all things considered. He cried but rarely when he wasn’t hungry or uncomfortable.   
“Oh, no. Of course not.” She laughed again, the sleeves of Wyatt’s jacket she was wearing brushing Henry’s cheek.   
Henry was put to bed, she took a long shower to wash away the grime of the race track and she had finished her research early when she slipped into their room. Somehow their odd conversation in the truck had cleared the lingering anger from their relationship. He came in a few minutes later, hair still damp from his own shower. She looked up from the book she’d been reading.   
The book dropped to the ground and clattered to a halt across the room. Tension, this time of a much more pleasurable kind, crackled between them. Eyes darkening he looked at her, seeming to try to read her mood. Was she the hysterical person desperate for any distraction from her own pain? Or was she fully open and aware of everything that was going on? Lucy let the covers fall off her as she sat up. Memories flitted through her. She’d been too distracted by the danger to really notice things. Like how adorable he was. And how hot he was when he was taking those crazy curves looking so proud of himself. And almost kissing in a trunk of her car was pretty good too.   
“Are you tired?” His eyes found hers.   
“No, I’m not.”  
“Good.”   
No, she definitely wasn’t tired. A shiver passed up her spine as he came near, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulled her close. “I think I made a promise I haven’t fulfilled.”  
The kiss was through, to say the least. She sighed happily. “Did I tell you how adorable you looked?”  
“If you say I looked like a pinup model…” Lucy glared at him. Or at least she tried to.  
“All I’m saying is red lipstick suits you.”   
“Too bad it wasn’t kiss proof.” She murmured. “I think you got a little on you.”  
There were more kisses, a long string of tender caresses that sent her pulse scattering into some strange rhythm that definitely wasn’t natural. “I didn’t tell you how hot it was when you were driving.”  
“Didn’t know you liked speed or danger.”   
“Sometimes I do.” Lucy gasped a little as he shed her off her nightshirt with a few easy movements. She was a little self-conscious of her post-pregnancy body. She had a lot of stretch marks and her body still felt out of whack. To distract her mind from going down the old routes of self-doubt she started tugging at his pajama bottoms.   
“We have to be quiet.” She whispered. Silently he nodded. It was surprisingly difficult because the springs on the terrible bunks creaked if you so much as breathed.  
A giggle escaped her as the creaking echoed in the silent room as she fell on her back bracked in by two strong arms. “Who was going to be quiet, now?” His grin lifted her heart.   
She pressed her lips against his to cut off any more cheeky remarks. The grin disappeared as the kiss deepened slowly and sensually. Lucy reached up to run her hands up his back. The sudden roughness of recent wounds and his subsequent wince made her pause.  
“What happened?” The shift in mood was tangible.   
“The explosion. It kinda burned my back. That damn polyester didn’t help. It’s healing although the doctor said I might always have a scar or two.” He was serious again, eyes fixed on hers.   
“ Wyatt…” The sudden physical reminders of exactly how close she’d come to losing her stared her in the face. With shaking hands, she traced his jaw with a fingertip. Then she dove back into the kiss, pouring everything into that one kiss. The rest of the world faded away. All the darkness and pain seemed irrelevant.   
She’d expected this moment to be exploding with tension after so long a separation. Instead, it was quiet and achingly slow. She kept touching his face, trying to remind herself that this was real. He wasn’t dead. He seemed to be just as word about the insubstantiality of their lives because he kept holding her hand as if she’d float away if he didn’t. As she lay there, skin cooling and eyes falling shut she felt safer than she’d ever been in her life. If this was love she never want to leave it.

 

The next day they were in Hollywood. Lucy stood there in front of the crowd of people in Hollywood trying to work up the nerve to sing. They’d had a magical time so far. Meeting the beautiful and intelligent Hedy Lemarr and interacting with the famous Hollywood elite made her feel like a star herself. It almost felt like she and Wyatt had been lovers for years as they walked around.  
She began “You Made Me Love You” in a warbly voice that soon died off. Apart from singing to Henry, she hadn’t sung since her failed band so many years ago. She looked over to Wyatt, saw his encouraging expression and tried again. He was her lifeline in that moment. She wasn’t sure she could have completed the song if he hadn’t kept up with the encouragement. It was a song for him, anyway. All of it was so true. She hadn’t meant to fall in love. She hadn’t meant to find him. He was supposed to be that guy she met in a bar and forgot a week later. And somehow they’d become parents and partners and she wasn’t sure how that had happened.   
The piano hit the jazzy part and she felt herself start to get involved. Swaying, throwing smiles to the crowd and hearing the confidence in her voice. Then the music slowed and soared to its conclusion. She found her eyes meeting his, and it was as if time stood still. That might have been a cheesy parallel but they were literal time travelers. They could turn back time. She found tears coming to her eyes as she considered how she’d nearly lost him. She saw his own eyes water as a look of pure astonishment come over his face.   
No one seeing them together could dream they weren’t together. Hedy Lemarr said goodbye with a merry, “Goodbye, Love Birds.”   
Lucy raised her eyebrows and whispered, “Wonder how she’d feel if she knew we had a three-month-old baby?”  
“I don’t know. She’d probably appreciate Henry.” His eyes twinkled as he clinked her glass.   
They wandered out towards the pool and stood by the water’s edge. He’d loosened his tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and she’d taken off her shoes. The long white and gold dress she wore made her feel like a princess.   
“So what’s up with Hedy and George?” He asked.  
“He’s probably in love with her but he’s already married and besides Hedy favors tall men.” Lucy replied.   
“Bad timing, I guess,” Wyatt replied. His eyes softened as he came forward and rested a hand on her shoulder.  
“You sang so well tonight. I was shocked. Sure you don’t see a future career as a singer?” He smiled at her again. She hadn’t realized he was capable of smiling so much. She liked the change.  
“I have a job. Besides I couldn’t have done it without you.” Lucy sighed, the stress of performing finally wearing off.   
“Lucy, you saved my life you know.” His eyes were sincere and tender as he cupped her face in his hands.  
“Which time? Watergate? The Alamo?” Her attempt at humor only gained a little laugh.  
“That’s so not what I meant. After Jessica died… I kinda stopped caring about life. And I only took this mission because it was dangerous. But not anymore. You and Henry, you are my life.”   
Lucy felt her eyes watering and blinked a bit to keep the tears from falling. “I feel the same way. When I was with my mother, and I thought you and Henry were dead. I just lost it. I stopped caring about anything.”  
He looked suddenly nervous as if something had happened and she paused a little uncertainty. Then he suddenly knelt in front of her and her hands flew to her face. He’d pulled out a box, it looked new and shiny, and opened it. Lucy gasped. It had to be a joke. Or something. The ring was beautiful. The diamond sparkled in the light as she stared at it until it blurred with her tears.  
“Lucy...uhh… is it ok? I mean, it’s old. It’s been in the family for a long time, and maybe you’d prefer a modern thing and I know it’s soon… and…” He rambled on nervously. Lucy fell to her own knees and flung herself at him. Happiness was like an infectious drug, purling through her system until she was lost.   
“Of course. I love it. It’s beautiful. But…” Lucy hesitated. “It’s so soon. I mean, we don’t have to marry because of Henry.”  
“I know. But I just...just felt like...don’t worry...if it’s too soon.” She could see the hesitation on his face and it broke her heart.   
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just didn’t want you to think that I was trying to trap you.”   
“No, never.”  
“I want to. I don’t care if it’s crazy. I want to marry you.” Lucy smiled, pushing the fear away. There was a deep-seated insecurity that he was only proposing because of Henry.   
“Oh my god.” Wyatt grinned and picked up the ring. Lucy felt him slip it on without difficulty. “I've been practicing with Jiya. Poor Jiya. I dropped that damn thing so many times.”   
Lucy laughed and then asked, “Who did this belong to?”  
He laughed joyously, “It was my grandmother’s. I got it after she died. I didn’t give it to Jessica because she didn’t like old stuff and I was young and didn’t appreciate it. I thought you would.”  
Lucy couldn’t stop the tears. She flung herself at him, pressing her lips to his in a fervent kiss. They were smiling into the kiss, joy radiating out. He lifted her up bridal style and she stopped, “Don’t you dare.”  
“Dare what?” His mischievous smile made her smile back.   
“You’re gonna get it.” She tightened her hold around his neck and leaned in for another kiss.  
She didn’t catch what he said but the sudden abrupt plunge into cold water sent a clear message. They were both laughing even though she was protesting, “You’re gonna get it. You so are gonna get it.”  
They were kissing again, the spontaneous dip in the pool only encouraging their ardor. She dropped her shoes in the water, feeling his hand slide down past her back to pull her closer. She was weighed down by the dress but she desperately wanted to get closer.   
Finally, they came up for air. “Maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea,” Wyatt admitted. His grin was infectious.   
“I’m wet and cold,” Lucy complained. She was smiling too. She didn’t have the heart to be actually angry. It was such an uncharacteristically happy moment for him. It made her wonder what he’d have been like without the shadow of his abusive father and Jessica’s death.   
Somehow they made it out of the water and slipped into the guest house. It was romantic and candlelit, as if Hedy had known he was proposing. The bathroom was tiny but good enough to strip down in and wrap a towel around herself. She tried hanging up the ruined dress but the rack wasn’t very good. Lucy then stood by the fire, letting it warm her chilled skin. While Wyatt stripped off his wet clothes she examined her ring in the firelight. It felt so unreal. She loved him so much and it all felt like a beautiful dream. Well, if it was a dream she wanted to never wake up. She wanted to live in it forever.  
“I want to see you wearing nothing but that ring.” He whispered in her ear. She shivered, this time not from cold.   
This was happening. Really happening. It felt like a hazy dream. She didn’t think she slept more than an hour or two. They talked, made love and planned as the hours ticked by. Being alone was precious living in a bunker with a three month-year-old baby. They’d never been together in the past before. They had barely even kissed on a mission, apart from 1934, until now. Lucy felt drunk, not with alcohol but with excitement. Finally, they were going to be a family.  
Rufus knocked on the door the next morning, waking them up. Lucy blinked and sat up, only realizing she was naked when Wyatt smirked up at her. “I’ll get it.” He said.   
Rufus didn’t seem happy to be greeted by his friend wrapped in nothing but a towel but he made his exit quickly enough. Lucy chuckled at his embarrassed face and glanced down at her ring happily. Wyatt leaned over and kissed her before they reluctantly got up and got dressed. His suit was wrinkled but otherwise unharmed. Her dress was a mess and it required stealing another dress before she came back and joined the men.   
Rufus whistled when he saw the ring, “Oh my god. You’re engaged.”  
“Yep,” Wyatt put an arm around her.   
Rufus nodded, “Well, I’m happy for you guys. Jiya will be so excited.”  
They prevented Rittenhouse from changing history. After the long car ride where they discussed wedding plans, Rufus offering useless information that made them laugh, the Lifeboat touched down in 2018. Lucy jumped out, unable to wait to hold Henry.  
Jiya wasn’t holding him. Lucy moved towards their room, Wyatt close behind. She could hear Agent Christopher calling their names. Lucy wondered what was so important that couldn’t wait for them to see Henry again.  
The room didn’t have a crib in it. Two bunks were pushed against opposite walls. Lucy recognized her blouse lying across her bed. One of Jiya’s jeans lay across the chair. A flicker of panic escaped her. Where was Henry?  
“Where is he?” Their voices erupted almost at the same time.  
Lucy flew across the room. She made it to the door and opened it. She darted into what was Rufus and Jiya’s room. No sign of a baby. She ran to the next door, Wyatt’s footsteps following close behind. It was once a storage closet but now had been transformed into a bedroom. Flynn was hanging a shirt up in the closet as they burst in.  
“What the hell?” He looked shocked to see them. “Don’t you know about knocking?”  
“Where is he?” Lucy asked. “Where is Henry?”  
“If you hurt him, I swear I’ll kill you.” Lucy had never heard Wyatt sound so angry. The rage in his voice matched the terror and anger in her own body. She was physically shaking with terror.   
“Who is Henry?” Flynn looked mildly alarmed as they stood there, about to spring.  
“Our son. He’s three months old. Remember?” Lucy asked. Her voice shook as she forced herself to remain calm. Henry was here somewhere.  
“Lucy, you don’t have a son,” Flynn replied. His voice was for once, full of sympathy.  
“No….No….No.” Lucy felt the scream erupt from her mouth. She whirled around, running for the door. Henry was gone. Her son had been erased. What was the point?  
“You’re lying.” Wyatt was about to spring at Flynn and hurt him. He was still in denial. Still believed that Henry was just hiding.   
“Wyatt, you are married to Jessica and you don’t have any children. Lucy isn’t pregnant. I have nothing to do with this. But Rittenhouse does.”   
Jessica Logan was alive. And with her reappearance, Lucy’s life had just gotten destroyed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Darlington is one of my favorite episodes because it's just so light and happy. All of our team is happy. I think it's where Lucy is finally able to let down her guard again.  
> I know you're probably all excited by the engagement and stuff but if you notice Lucy is very insecure. I feel like that scene has a bittersweet quality because we all know something bad is coming. And Lucy doesn't really believe that it's all real. So that attitude is going to affect how things happen in the future.   
> And yes, I brought Jessica back. This is all Emma. Carol is evil but her plan would have been to kidnap Henry to use as leverage so she could get Lucy to join RH. Emma, on the other hand, didn't want Henry to exist because that would be hurting her own chances of taking over RH.   
> Finally, if you are worried about how close this story will be to canon, I will say a few things. The split between Lyatt is more equal than in canon. I don't believe for one moment Wyatt would have flown out of the bunker without a word in my verse. And I can't imagine him being as determined to make things work with Jessica under the circumstances. Lucy is going to make some poor choices too. And Jessica is even more manipulative and straight up evil here. I do promise a happy ending though. And no, Jessica won't pull the pregnancy card. That would be so cliche.


	7. Part 4 Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Non explicit dubious consent sexual situation

Henry was gone. Jessica was alive. The fact that would have once made him so happy now broke his heart. Because with Jessica’s reappearance his son was gone. Lucy was running out of the room, screams, and sobs erupting from her mouth. Wyatt felt tears sliding down his own cheeks. Henry was gone. His son had become the single most important thing in his life, except maybe Lucy, and now he was gone.   
“Did Rittenhouse just jump?” Lucy asked without preamble. Agent Christopher nodded.  
“They jumped to San Diego California in January 1983 but they only stayed for twenty minutes.”   
“They brought Jessica back.” Lucy glanced around. Rufus’s mouth hung open and as she stood there, silently sobbing, he came over and wrapped an arm around her.  
“We’ll fix this,” he promised.   
Lucy shuddered. “We can’t. All of us existed back then.”   
Wyatt reached for her. But Lucy’s arm fell back as he held it out. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her as best as he could. He should be the one to hold her, damn it. But now…  
“No, we can’t.” Lucy continued. “Because even if we could that would mean Jessica wouldn’t be alive.”   
She glanced up at him. Her eyes were dark, lost and angry. She was angry at him. Damn it, why? He wasn’t responsible for this. He hadn’t brought Jessica back. He was hurting just as much as she. He’d just lost a son.   
“Lucy,” he began. He placed a hand on her arm again, following it until his eyes fell on the diamond he’d given her.  
“Wyatt, you should go find out what’s going on with Jessica.” Lucy pulled away.   
“That would be a good idea.” Rufus carefully let Jiya take Lucy while he followed Wyatt into his room to retrieve his phone.   
There was a text from Jessica waiting. An angry text saying that he was being irresponsible and she was clearly enraged but it was a text. Wyatt turned to Rufus and showed him the text. “Could it be a mistake?”  
“No, Jiya told me. You’re clearly still married to Jessica and that’s why Henry isn’t here.” Rufus was watching him nervously.   
“Why is Lucy so angry?” Wyatt asked. “I didn’t bring her back.”  
“No, you didn’t. But you kinda got the better deal. Lucy lost everything. She lost her child and now her fiance. What do you expect her to do? Be happy. Throw a party.” Rufus shook his head.  
“She hasn’t lost me,” Wyatt said.  
“Yeah, well you are married to someone else. A person you stole a time machine to get back. You really think she’s not thinking that.”   
“I’m not leaving Lucy. I know things with Jessica are complicated but we need to focus on getting Henry back. There has to be a way.” Wyatt put the phone down, rubbing a hand down his face.  
“You don’t have a choice. You have to deal with Jessica. Until you do there is no dealing with Henry. You have to choose between them. If you bring Henry back, Jessica will die. Are you willing to do that?” Rufus shook his head.  
“What kind of choice is that?” Wyatt asked. The choice was unendurable.  
“The one you have to make. You have to go back to Jessica and see if it’s all worth it. That’s why Lucy is upset. And there is nothing she can do about it. Listen, I’m not blaming you. This isn’t your fault and it’s the shittiest situation I’ve ever seen. But you need to give Lucy time to grieve. Because she is grieving.”  
“I am too.” Wyatt buried his head in his hands. “Do you think this is easy for me? I mean even if we could go back and undo what Rittenhouse did I’d be ensuring Jessica dies. And then there is Lucy.”  
There were so many tears and they were all trapped there, wanting to come out. The pain had started out dull, he’d been in too much shock to react right away. Now it was coming on, blinding flashes that made him want to scream or tear apart the room.   
“I can’t begin to understand how you feel.” Rufus laid a hand on his back. “Whatever you do, I support you.”  
He finally made it out and went searching for Lucy. She was sitting with Agent Christopher and Jiya, eyes wet and face set. She looked like hell. “Lucy, we need to talk.”  
His voice was shaking but she only said coldly, “Wyatt right now I don’t need to rehash this. It’s done. Go be with Jessica.”  
“Lucy,” he began.  
“Wyatt, it’s fine. There is nothing you can do to fix this.” Lucy’s smile was more tragic than a frown. It made him want to pull her close, never let go.  
“No. I’m not leaving you.”   
“There is nothing to keep you here. Henry’s gone.” Lucy shook her head. “You have Jessica back. At least one of us got what we wanted.”  
So that was it. Henry really had been the only reason they’d been together. Flashes of their last night together came back. Lucy’s hesitancy at accepting his proposal. Her constant flashes of insecurity. The way she’d acted after she’d been rescued from Rittenhouse. She’d never loved him. Sure she probably thought she did but only because he was her child’s father. No child, no love.   
He’d found that ring, knowing in his heart of hearts Lucy would love it. Heart in his throat he’d thrown caution to the winds to propose to her. He’d thought that a Hollywood proposal in the glamour of Hedy Lamarr's house was just about as perfect an opportunity as ever. He hadn’t wanted to wait. Life was uncertain enough. Now, it seemed everything had collapsed the second they’d come home.  
He glanced down at her left hand. The ring was gone. That decided it. Pain edged through him sending searing sadness scattering in its wake. “Fine.” The clipped tone didn’t betray the pain he felt. She’d have seen it if she looked up but she didn’t. Spinning on his heels he managed to break his way out of the bunker.  
Seeing Jessica was unreal. He couldn’t tell her about either Lucy or Henry and by her angry tones whatever had happened in their timeline had been horrible. She seemed furious at him especially for not calling her for over two months. Guilt curled through him. He’d screwed it up with Lucy and apparently also with Jessica.   
The hours ticked by as he waited for Jessica to get off her work. He needed to talk to Lucy. To find out what she really wanted. Did she really want to just pretend the last months had never happened? He also needed to try to fix what happened with Jessica. As for Henry… since he couldn’t pilot a time machine there was no way to stop Rittenhouse from doing whatever they did to erase him. It was Amy all over again.   
He was so focused on his own pain he didn’t even hear his phone ringing. Finally, he picked it up, “Hello,” he said.  
“Wyatt,” Lucy’s voice sounded gutted and for the first time, it felt like there was some sort of break in the coldness they’d felt.  
“Lucy,” He began.  
“So did you see her?” Lucy’s detached tone gave him pause.  
“Yes, she’s really alive. Her hair is a bit shorter but she’s alive. And she’s mad because I’ve been a terrible husband. I don’t understand…” Wyatt felt his heart cave in as he tried to explain the exact look on Jessica’s face. The way she hadn’t even noticed his eyes were red with tears.  
“Wyatt, I’m happy for you,” Lucy said it stiffly. “You have a chance to make things right and have a happy ending. I know it won’t bring back Henry but I guess we both knew this would turn out like this.”  
Her tone sounded anything but fine. She sounded just as devastated as he felt. It was true that there was nothing they could do. Henry was as gone as Amy. And that was like a knife to the heart.  
“Lucy, you know I’d change it if I could.” He began.   
“I know. Being a parent means your child is literally the most important person in your life. I know you loved Henry. But you have Jessica now.” Lucy’s tone trailed off and he could hear her draw in another breath. Tears seemed to cloud her voice and he could feel his own start again.  
“Lucy, I still love you.”   
“I know. But you know it wasn’t meant to be. Henry was what brought us together. Now that he’s….” her voice trailed off. “Gone. We need to try to move on. Grieving with me won’t help. One of us might as well be happy.”  
She didn’t say she loved him. “But…”  
“You’re married, Wyatt.” Lucy’s tone was sharp and determined. It reminded him that he was in fact married. Jessica had commented on the lack of rings. He’d made some bullshit excuse about cleaning it. She’d only laughed disagreeably.  
“Did the Mothership jump?” The question came out quickly as he tried desperately to focus on the mission.   
“No, everything is fine here. Take as much time as you need.” Lucy clearly wanted to get off the phone. Talking to him was like poison.  
“Ok,” The tone was too soft to be his own.   
Jessica came in a few minutes later, shrugging dismissively when he talked about their first apartment. He was trying to find some common ground with her. It was clear that Lucy didn’t love him, and that equally his son was gone forever. And he had to make things work with Jessica. Otherwise, he’d be well and truly alone. Jessica had been the one constant in a sea of loss and pain. They’d been two kids up against the world. It seemed that in the end, they were still those two kids.   
The way she described their marriage was painful and gut-wrenching. Was he really like that? Clearly, he had to be because Jessica described it and Lucy had been all too willing to break things off the moment Henry was gone. Jessica handed the papers over, her face impassive. He hesitated for a moment. It would be easy enough to sign the papers and go back to that hell hole of a bunker and sit and grieve in peace. To let go of everything except the guilt of losing Henry. Because no matter what he’d said to Lucy and Rufus he still blamed himself for losing Henry. But that would be selfish. He had to think about Jessica now. She looked so unhappy. He had to make an effort to fix their marriage. She said she loved him, in that sad and distant way that indicated she’d said that a lot over the years.  
And so he ended up blurting out the truth. The time travel, the murder, and the Lifeboat. She laughed at him, eyes hard and sad. He had to convince her. Somehow he couldn’t lose her. Not after everything he’d lost. Somehow if he could just fix their marriage he’d forget about Lucy and be able to see her without feeling the knife hot pain of the might of beans and the has-beens. Jessica had once been his world and now he could recreate that world. He just had to convince her to give him a second chance.  
All hell broke out when he got back to the bunker, Jessica in tow. Agent Christopher was none too pleased he’d brought Jessica there and muttered about Rittenhouse. They all knew it wasn’t Jessica’s actual presence that frightened them. Rittenhouse had clearly set out to break them by erasing Henry. What better way to break people than erase their child?   
Then he found out Lucy and Rufus had jumped to Salem with Garcia Flynn of all people. Eyes flashing he nearly shook Agent Christopher in his sudden rage. He couldn’t lose Lucy. Not after everything. Not even after their relationship was torn to shreds. “Didn’t she tell you she was going?”  
“No,” Wyatt’s teeth ground as he considered how Flynn might hurt her. Then again Flynn had been somewhat sympathetic. He’d lost a child himself. Perhaps there was a flicker of humanity left in him.   
“What’s going on?”Jessica was holding a drink in her hand and staring at her surroundings with interest.   
There was a rush of air. Then the Lifeboat materialized. Jessica’s drink went flying and the hatch opened. Wyatt rushed forward, too intent to see Lucy to even care about her exclamation of shock. Lucy came out, arm held awkwardly and a pale, grief-stricken expression on her face. For a second their eyes met, pain etched into her gaze. Then she glanced behind him. He turned his head, saw Jessica watching the exchange. He stepped back. Then he saw Flynn emerge and put a protective arm around Lucy. Jealousy flared up. What right did Garcia Flynn have to touch Lucy as she belonged to him when Lucy was his fiance, wore his ring? The second the thought came to him he realized it wasn’t true anymore. Lucy had taken the ring off, making it abundantly clear that she no longer wanted anything to do with him.   
He stepped back and Lucy and Flynn walked off. He started to follow but Jessica called him back. She started questioning things, eyes confused and puzzled. Wyatt’s attention was drawn to the room where Lucy was. Jessica kept looking at him curiously.  
“What’s up with her? And that guy? Is he her husband?” His blood ran cold. Always he and Lucy had been mistaken for lovers or a married couple. The idea that Jessica had assumed Lucy was married to Flynn was nauseating.   
“No, of course not. He’s a terrorist, actually.” Wyatt tried not imaging Flynn holding Lucy as she was sick. The man had seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with her journal. Memories of him talking to Lucy as if he knew her filtered through him.   
“Well, he certainly is protecting her. She looks really sick. I wonder what happened.” Jessica prattled on, unaware of the dangers she was sticking in his heart.   
He ended up making Jessica something to eat and then went to check on Lucy. Agent Christopher pulled him aside, “Wyatt I don’t think you should go in there. Lucy is really disoriented right now and keeps calling for Henry. Your presence will only disturb her more.”  
“Tell her I was here. When she wakes up.” Wyatt closed his eyes.  
“Wyatt, I think she just wants some space.” Agent Christopher’s face was sympathetic. “I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. I wish you hadn’t brought Jessica here. She’s not to blame but her presence will hurt Lucy.”  
“Why would it? It’s clear she doesn’t care about me. She told me to go back to Jessica.” The bitter tone shocked even him.  
“Wyatt, Jessica’s presence erased her son. Even though she’s a good person anyone would feel jealous and angry.” Agent Christopher was firm. “Go and make sure Jessica is at home.”  
He went away then. ANy hope of surviving this lay in somehow convincing Jessica to stay and repairing their relationship. Anything between him and Lucy was over. Jessica watched him with cold and sad eyes as he pleaded with her to stay. If she didn’t stay, if he couldn’t fix their marriage, then all of this pain was for nothing.   
The hours passed. He barely heard Jessica’s incessant chatter as he tried to choke down a little food. Finally, she went off to bed and he was left alone. There was nowhere in the whole damn bunker that didn’t have ghosts haunting it. Henry lingered in every single inch. The desperate attempts to comfort his son while Lucy was missing. Hearing his little happy gurgle as they played with him. His small warm body pressed close.   
Hands shaking he managed to pour himself a glass of whiskey. Jessica might complain about his drinking but if he didn’t drink he might just fall apart. Lucy was lying there feverish and alone and their son was gone. Jessica was back but she had no clue what had happened in the intervening years. The burn of the alcohol did nothing to soothe the ache in his chest. How could it? There was no drug strong enough to cure this one.   
Finally, the morning came. Lucy was still sick, her fever spiking dangerously. Wyatt slipped into the room when Jiya wasn’t there. Lucy was lying there pale and white-faced, her dark hair spread across the pillow like a dusky cloud. He wanted to reach out and touch the delicate features, trace her expression until her eyes opened. Instead, he took the seat Jiya had vacated and stared at her still form. Everything still felt unreal, like a nightmare.   
“You know you shouldn’t be here.” Jiya looked sad and lost as he started in surprise.   
“I know,” he whispered back. “I just needed to see if she’s ok.”  
“No, she’s not,” Jiya replied. “But then again you aren’t either.”  
It was useless to pretend otherwise. The sound of the buzzer dinged indicating that the Mothership had jumped. Jiya gave him a soft pat on the shoulder before he slipped out. Another mission. This time Lucy less. Bringing back JFK was a dangerous mistake but what else could they do? They couldn’t let him die.  
He found Lucy up and about when he got back. She was pale and in clear pain but no longer on death’s door. He was desperate to talk to her. She was the only person who understood exactly what it was like.   
“Lucy,” his voice was rough and tight.   
“Wyatt, please, I don’t want to do this right now.” Lucy shook her head. “You had to bring her here. Did you ever consider how that would make me feel?”  
“You didn’t care.” The tone sounded childish, even to his own ears.   
“Really? I don’t care that my life has been shot to hell. This situation has destroyed my life and you just got your life back. You don’t need to rub your happiness in my face.” Lucy’s face crumpled as she pushed past him.   
“Lucy, do you really think I don’t care about him? Or you?”   
“I don’t know,” Lucy mumbled. She started to move away again.  
“Am I interrupting something?” Jessica’s voice was far too close for comfort. How much had she heard?  
He was about to stumble through some sort of explanation when Lucy said curtly, “No of course not, I’m just bringing this to John.”  
John was gone. Jessica wanted to come with them. She’d already made a dismissive remark about teachers that made him wince. Still, she suspected something. She’d already started grilling him on Lucy, asking him why he’d spent so much time with her when she was sick. “I guess the more eyes the better.”  
It was pure hell in the car. He and Lucy always had frequent disagreements over strategy but with Rufus, they had the security of knowing that whatever stuff happened on missions wouldn’t affect their working relationship. Not now. It was like a ping pong match with Jessica in the middle. She’d clearly decided to take Lucy’s side which was fine except it felt so strange. Jessica didn’t belong on this mission. She didn’t understand the complexity of the situation. She didn’t understand her presence had broken everything apart. Yet, he owed her so much. He’d hurt her and now he had to make it up to her.  
Being near Lucy was a physical ache. She was the same Lucy he’d always known. Brave, intelligent and radiant. Like a moth to a flame, he was caught in her orbit, drifting ever nearer. He wanted to pull her close, weep with her over their shared losses, figure out some way to bring Henry back. Had his son felt pain in the instantaneous second he’d disappeared? The thought made him want to run out of the convenience store.   
Jessica was suspicious. He could see it in her eyes as he’d stupidly spent the whole time staring at Lucy as if the secrets of the universe were found on her face. When Jessica brought up Hawai he made sure to include a memory of his own. Jessica had been there. She deserved so much better. So much better than him. Then a man who’d mourned her six years to find himself in love with another woman, have a child with her and then have said child be erased from history.   
Then Emma had Lucy in her clutches, “I guess you don’t care about her now that the wife is back?”  
Lucy was silently pleading with him to shoot. He’d done so that first time on the first mission. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t endanger her life. Not to bring down Rittenhouse. Not for anything. He stared at Emma and felt panic tear at him. He couldn’t lose Lucy. Not like this. Not like this. Then Emma threw Lucy at him and took off. He grabbed Lucy by the shoulders before she could fall and gently lowered her down. For one glorious second, he was too wrapped up in her to think of anything else. Jessica, Emma and everything else faded as he stared into her anguished eyes.   
“I’m fine, go after her,” Lucy spoke with conviction. Reluctantly he slipped away. Of course, it was his luck to get arrested but he ought to have trusted Lucy to know what to do. He felt the brush of her fingers against his hands and then the cool metal of a paper clip. A smirk touched the corner of his lip. She was good. Getting free was a piece of cake and then he was picking up Lucy and Jessica. Jessica’s face looked tear-stained and weary and Lucy looked exhausted and sick. It all felt like a nightmare. Surely, he’d wake and find out the last few days were nothing but a dream?  
Back in the bunker, Jessica hunted him down to talk. This was it. The moment of reckoning. He almost didn’t care if Jessica forgave him. Her forgiveness wouldn’t bring Henry back. It wouldn’t cure the guilt that somehow he’d done something to make Henry disappear. It was clear their marriage hung by invisible threads. Jessica was weary and tired of the relationship and he was mourning a child that wasn’t hers.  
“I was going to just go but she convinced me to stay. She told me all the things you did to bring me back. I didn’t think that was possible. I mean you never acted like you’d do much if I’d died. So I’m saying, I’ll give you a second chance.” Jessica looked at him, tears in her eyes. “I do love you, Wyatt.”  
Guilt and something like jealousy warred inside. Lucy had encouraged Jessica to stay? He’d been such a bad husband Jessica had thought he wouldn’t care if she died? What kind of nightmare was this? How could he tell Jessica, “Hey actually I’m in love with someone else, I had a kid with her and now the kid is gone because you’re alive.” What kind of thing was that? If one thing was clear it was that Lucy was obviously surviving well without him. Henry had been the common bond between them and now that he was gone they’d broken apart completely.   
He tried to smile, tried to say something that hid the ache in his chest. But there was nothing. All he could do was lean over and kiss Jessica. It seemed easier than speaking. It wasn’t a very good kiss but she only shrugged and said, “I’m going to read and then go to bed.”  
Wyatt met Lucy out in the hall, almost stumbling into her. She barreled straight against him and instinctively his hands flew out to support her. A million memories of their life together flooded his head. It took everything not to pull her close. She looked so lovely in that strange flowered robe and soft scrubbed face. She looked devastated, the pain of losing Henry stark and strong. How had they come to this? Just a few short days ago they were engaged?  
“Jessica gave me a second chance, thanks to you.” He didn’t know why he said it. Perhaps he wanted to gauge her reaction, figure out if she cared at all? She gave a forced smile.  
“I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.” Lucy spoke stiffly.  
“You know I can’t. Not without….” Even saying Henry’s name was painful.  
“I know. I know. But we can’t bring him back.” Lucy replied. “We might as well accept it.”  
Her tone was desperate. A tear slid down her cheek and then another until she was sobbing wildly. Caution be damned he tried pulling her close. For a split second she leaned close and then she bounced back, “I need to go. Goodnight Wyatt.”  
He watched her disappear, awash in regrets. Why hadn’t he waited longer before finding Jessica? Why hadn’t he signed those papers right away? It was too late now. Jessica had forgiven him and wanted to try again. But all he could see was Henry’s small, baby face and bright blue eyes and Lucy’s sobbing in his arms. Losing Henry seemed to get worse, consume more as the hours passed.   
A few nights later it was too much. Emma had been unusually quiet for the last few days and time hung heavy on their hands. Jessica kept to herself except for Jiya who she seemed to have developed a particular friendship with. Rufus avoided him and Lucy, probably because he didn’t know how to deal with the cluster fuck that was their lives. Lucy barely stepped out of her room, throwing herself into research as if it would save the world.   
Even since he’d known about Henry he’d avoided alcohol. He wasn’t going to be his father. Now, though, there was nothing to stop him. The whiskey barely burned going down. Silently he stared at the wall of the bunker kitchen. What was the point of it all? They were all one timeline away from annihilation? All the history they changed and so many children erased. But no one knew they existed. How could mourn something they never knew?   
Hours passed, the alcohol numbed everything. He stumbled into the room where Jessica was sitting on the bed. As drunk as he was he knew she would be angry. She was always angry when he drank too much. They’re worst fights came when he drank and then they’d hurl the worst insults at each other.   
Jessica wasn’t angry. When she reached for him in the darkness, he didn’t push her away.  
********************************************************  
Wyatt woke up late the next morning, the pain in his head alerting him to the fact that he’d drank more than he had in a long time. Not so long ago, getting passed out drunk had been a common occurrence. But ever since he’d been part of the team he’d refused to drink that much. Until now. Blinking he glanced around. Jessica was dead to the world, pressed up against him. Jessica had always been a night owl and with her job, it was a miracle if she was ever up before 10.   
Memories, hazy and irresolute, passed through his head. It was completely fucked up that the only time that he and Jessica had actually slept together since she died, he’d have been so drunk he’d remember nothing. He’d been stuck in a haze of grief over Henry and Lucy, too focused on hiding his pain to do anything but tread water. It felt almost like an invasion. But they were married and Jessica deserved a husband, not an aloof roommate who had to be drunk to look at her. Why was it so different? Why did it feel like such a betrayal to Lucy and Henry when it was clear Lucy didn’t really care. Lucy had kept Jessica here.   
It only got worse when Rufus made a muttered an embarrassing remark about sticking towels under the door. God, what had happened the night before? He didn’t remember anything past getting back to his room. Rufus’s confused and withdrawn expression haunted him. But then he saw Lucy, face pale and smile set. She offered to sleep on the couch so Jiya and Rufus could be together. And then she slipped off to the shower. The scent of her perfume nauseated him. Reminding him of a golden night and a ring and a child who was gone forever.   
The day only got worse. Christopher kept him back from the mission to conduct the raid on Rittenhouse. Normally he didn’t care but he had to see Lucy and Rufus and Connor Mason go with Garcia Flynn of all people.  
“Keep them safe.” He looked at Flynn and for the first time saw the man who’d been a father and lost his daughter. The man who’d torn heaven and earth to bring his girls back. Wyatt could understand the sentiment. Except it wouldn’t be so easy to bring back Henry.   
“You have my word.” The wink might have been careless but there was something in Flynn’s eyes that indicated that he would keep his promise.   
The Rittenhouse raid was straightforward, almost too straightforward. He had Carol Preston in his sights, Christopher in his ear telling him to shoot, but he couldn’t. He remembered the stiff dinners in Carol’s house in the months leading up to Henry’s birth. He remembered Carol standing over Henry’s bassinet and gently stroking his cheek. He knew this was Lucy’s mother. And he couldn’t kill her.  
“You can’t take the shot.” Carol’s tone was calm and unruffled as she stared at him. Carol probably didn’t know of Henry’s existence and she certainly didn’t remember him. But she knew already he couldn’t take the shot.   
“What happened there? You didn’t take the shot? Why?” Agent Christopher stared at him amidst the burning wreckage of Rittenhouse headquarters.  
“My gun jammed, ma’am.” She only shook her head. It was a pathetic excuse and they both knew it.  
“I know this thing with Lucy and Jessica is complicated. But I need you to focus and complete the task. Rittenhouse can’t get an in because we don’t have the strength to fight them.” Her tone was stern but he saw the emotion in her eyes.   
“If it was your child that got erased would you be so calm?” He asked her. She flinched and looked away.   
“You don’t think that doesn’t pass through my minds constantly?” She shook her head. “It doesn’t help thinking about it.”  
“Because, ma’am, it happened to me.” 

Wyatt had to talk to Lucy. He didn’t even bother to take off his gear before he followed her down the hall. She was talking with Flynn as if nothing had happened. Her face looked more relaxed than it had in several weeks.   
“Lucy,” He called after her. She turned around, an eyebrow raised in silent question. She was testing him and finding him wanting. He kept looking at her and finally, she turned back to Flynn, giving him a mysterious hand gesture which he seemed to understand. Then she turned back to Wyatt.  
“It’s late Wyatt. Go back to Jessica, we’ll talk in the morning.” She smiled at him, an actual smile in the middle of the hell of their lives.   
“What happened on the mission?” Always they’d had the missions to talk about. Always.  
“We’ll talk in the morning. Everything went fine.” She gave him another impatient smile.  
“Even with Flynn. He didn’t cause you any problems?”   
“No, Flynn was great actually,” Lucy replied. “Goodnight Wyatt.”  
He was being dismissed. He watched her walk down the hall before he turned to his room.  
“Everything went ok?” Jessica asked, looking up from her book.  
“Yeah, it went well.” He replied.   
She seemed to get the memo he wasn’t in the mood to talk. Something about the way Lucy had said Flynn’s name and the way they talked to each other made his blood boil. It was ridiculous. Flynn had tried to kill Lucy. There was absolutely nothing there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I had a lot of problems with the way Wyatt was portrayed in Season 2. I understand what they were trying to do but it never showed up on screen very well. Lyatt is in a much more committed relationship in my story so the breakdown of the relationship looks a lot different. I love Lucy but in this story, she's actually the first person to start walking away. Seeing her take off her ring, it was a huge gut punch to the stomach and convinced him she didn't care as much as he'd thought. And he's giving her every opportunity to change things including saying he still loves her. Lucy is just scared and also she genuinely believes he'll be happier without her. These two noble idiots.   
> On to Jessica. This version of Jessica is the literal worst. Even worse than canon Jessica. I hate her with a burning passion. She's manipulative and gross. This Wyatt is grieving his kid being erased from history. His head space is very different from the one on the show. And she takes advantage of his bad mental state/drunken state. I hope it's not too triggering for anyone. It's more of her gaslighting and abuse. By the end, he's convinced he's the problem. I base this on that creepy kiss she gave him in 2.07. It was clearly something she did to manipulate and control and not welcome. In my story even though Wyatt doesn't consider it abusive it is 100% sexual assault. You don't take advantage of someone being drunk to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm off of my soapbox. I hope some time in the future he'll realize he's not to blame for what happened.


	8. Part 4 Chapter 2

Obviously, there was something there. Rounding the corner he saw Lucy slip out of Flynn’s room, still dressed in her clothes from the day before. Pain, hot jealousy and blinding anger reared its ugly head. She didn't see him but continued to her own room. Hands shaking he tried showering but it only brought back memories of showering with her.   
Lucy and Flynn? Why? What? How could she? It was a betrayal. It was as if Henry meant nothing. As if already she’d forgotten her son in favor of the next lonely widower. As if all the shitty things Flynn had done to her, like grab her by the neck or kidnap her didn’t matter? Just a week or two before she’d worn his ring. Now she was sleeping with another man, his worst enemy apart from Rittenhouse.   
Well, you have Jessica now. The reasonable part of his brain whispered. He really had no right to judge. She’d made it abundantly clear that anything between them was over. She had a perfect right to move on. But with Flynn? That was insane. Noah was a nice enough guy, probably Rittenhouse but who knows. Flynn had actually hurt Lucy. And now she acted as if it didn’t matter. As if her taking off her ring hadn’t been the first step in their breakdown?  
When Flynn came in the smug expression on his face was almost enough to send Wyatt over the edge into punching him. “Stay away from Lucy.”   
The tight, barely controlled fury in his tone shocked even him. The military had trained out the unrestrained violence of his teen years when he’d thrown punches to anyone who offended people. But now, no training in the world could prepare him for the pain of losing Henry or the sudden betrayal of losing Lucy. “She’s not your wife, is she? Isn’t she the blonde lady down the hall? Unless the timelines have changed. If you have a problem with how Lucy spends her time, take it up with her.”  
No, No, No. Whatever had happened the night before felt like a betrayal. The logical part of his brain told him that Lucy was single and had the right to do what she wanted with her life. But that primal, possessive part of him he’d never been able to control said, “Mine, Mine.” Everyone seemed to be fine with Flynn, even Rufus. How could he trust a man who’d tried to kill them multiple times? How could Lucy sleep with someone who tried to kill her?   
“Say goodbye to your wife.” Flynn’s mocking tone made him see red. He’d forgotten Jessica was even there. His half-hearted wave and her rueful smile reminded him that this soap opera of a failed marriage was a source of entertainment for the rest.   
“I don’t want to see you get hurt.” Lucy’s plan was dangerous and reckless.   
“I’ve been very understanding but you act as if you are the one who’s had the rug pulled out from under their feet. I’m already hurt.” Lucy’s face grew more and more devastated as if everything was finally coming crashing down.   
“You don’t think this is hard for me? I lost my son.” I lost you.  
“Well, at least you got Jessica back. I have nothing.” Lucy turned away.   
“You seem to have someone. Someone to spend your nights with.” The bitter angry tone sounded so ugly, so awful but the anger came from deep inside. A place he couldn’t control or look at.   
“What I do or how I spend my nights isn’t your problem.” Her curt tone gave him pause. It was true. Now it was abundantly true. That didn’t sooth that dark place inside. It didn’t make the pure pain go away.   
Grace picked up the growing fracture in seconds. Wyatt wondered if she was some kind of mind reader. She certainly had him pegged without him saying a word. She terrified him more than a whole army of Rittenhouse agents. Grace with those keen eyes and unreadable expression and how she immediately cast him aside as unworthy of polishing Lucy’s shoes. Oh, Grace was right. She always had been. Any version of Lucy Preston was so far above him and it had taken this moment for Lucy to figure it out. Now that she had it was pointless to struggle. Might as well accept it.   
They were teaming up with Emma of all people to save the suffrage movement and if he’d been told that Emma would kill her own sleeper agent he’d have laughed. But whatever terrifying timeline he’d entered was like some sort of Alice in Wonderland shit.   
Lucy had worked her magic on Grace and she was giving that speech as if she’d been born to do it. Grace might be delivering the speech but she never would have if not for Lucy. “She did it.” Lucy’s face expressed all the relief that somehow feminism was being saved.  
“No, I think you did it.” It didn’t matter how much distance had grown up between them. It didn’t matter that they were separated by everything that had happened. Lucy still had the power to change people. She was still some kind of miracle-working goddess. 

 

The debrief was over. Jessica had eaten dinner with him but it had been a mostly silent meal. It felt like they were on a first date basis. Silted pauses, awkward silences, and overwhelming politeness.   
“This feels weird.” He commented at last.  
Jessica laughed, a strange hollow thing, “ Believe it or not it’s nice not to be fighting.”  
That’s because you are a stranger. “Yeah, but it feels…”  
“Fine. Things are looking up, Sweetie.” Jessica smiled, as she finished her dinner and picked up her glass of wine. She never called him Sweetie. It was weird.   
“Doesn’t it seem kind of awkward?”   
“No, that’s what people are like when they’ve been married as long as we have.” Jessica shrugged. “My parents were like that.”  
Wyatt vaguely remembered Jessica’s parents. Her father was a lawyer and her mother was mostly home with the kids. They were the ultimate respectable couple. The picture perfect, cookie cutter family. But he’d remembered how Jessica complained about them. The desire to not be like them had propelled her straight towards the boy who had been on their off-limits list.  
“You always thought your parents were too controlling and distant. They sure hated me.”  
“I did?” Jessica looked genuinely confused. “My parents always encouraged our relationship.”  
Something clicked in his head. Why would her parents encourage their relationship? Their perfect daughter with a low life like him? There was something wrong here. Jessica’s parents would never have liked him. Not in a million years. They never would have encouraged their relationship.  
“Why are we talking about my family?” Jessica leaned forward and gave him a kiss. “Why do I feel like you’re never with me?”  
There was suspicion in her tone. There was a warning in the hand she pressed against his face. Coldness seeped into him. Why did it feel so cold? Forcing a smile he tried again, “Oh you know, this Rittenhouse thing. And well, not exactly the nicest place to live.”  
“Oh my god, I can’t stand this place.” Jessica laughed and the moment eased. 

Lucy was sitting at one of the monitors researching Alice Paul. She looked radiant and somehow the tension eased, the coldness ceased to press quite so heavily. “Alice is just a footnote to history. Only we remember she was important.”  
The pain in her voice wasn’t just for Alice. It was for Amy and Henry and all the other people who’d fallen victim to the hazards of time travel. The urge to comfort her propelled his hand forward, to rest on her shoulder. Just a comforting pat. What could be so wrong with that?  
“Wyatt, don’t.” Her tone was tortured. Her quick movement forward, as if he’d burned her, sent a shockwave of sadness through him.  
“Lucy,” he took a deep breath. “I still care about you, I can’t change that.”  
“I know.” She looked down again. “I know you can’t forget about Henry...or what happened in the past. But you are a married man, a happily married man, and both of us have to accept that. I’m not the kind of person to interfere with that.”  
“I know.” She wouldn’t be Lucy Preston if she wasn’t so strongly pushing for him and Jessica. Memories of how cold and distant it was between them filtered through his head. It wasn’t fair to Jessica to be with her while still fixed on Lucy and on Henry. But Jessica seemed happy. For the first time in a long time, she was happy. He owed her that.   
“I’m sorry about earlier. It’s just you and Flynn….” the words died off.  
Lucy gave a little smile and laugh before adding, “We just talked.”  
“Thank god.” The obvious relief in his tone only made her laugh a little harder. “I mean, ok.”  
There were a few seconds more silence and then he asked, “So where does that leave us?”  
“Kicking ass and saving the world.” She smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  
“Yeah,” It wasn’t very satisfying, was it? He wanted her so badly it was a physical ache but clearly to her, it was a job to be done. And Jessica deserved happiness. After the terrible things he’d done to her, Jessica deserved better.   
Silently he turned around. Please, say something. But Lucy didn’t.

 

The next few days passed. Wyatt couldn’t help feeling a sense of unease when talking to Jessica. She felt different somehow. It wasn’t just the well-developed muscles that had popped up on a woman who once considered walking more than a block a hardship. It was the way she seemed cold and callous, the strange way her face took and the lack of warmth.   
Lucy was barely around, spending most of her time holed up in her room researching. Rufus was weirdly aloof and avoided him. Jiya was still her usual self and the only one out of all of them who treated him exactly the same. It was a relief.   
Weirdly enough the only person, other than Lucy, who seemed to understand, was Flynn. He still hated the bastard but the occasional look of sympathy on his face clued him into the fact that Flynn did in fact understand. He’d seen his daughter die by Rittenhouse’s hands.   
The trip to the ’80s had staggeringly high stakes. They fail and Agent Christopher’s whole family would be wiped away. Her children would disappear. And he and Lucy would have never met. Because in this timeline they never had that one night stand that resulted in her pregnancy.   
The sleeper agent was pathetic and he would have felt sorry for him. Except that he had to find out exactly why Rittenhouse brought back Jessica. There was something about it that was suspicious. Something wrong about it all.   
“I don’t know anything about your wife.” The man said.   
No, he didn’t. But somehow Wyatt had to find out what happened. Why did Rittenhouse do what they did?   
“I’ve been waiting a long time to thank you.” Agent Christopher’s firm handshake and fond smile felt weird. She’d hired him based on memories of something that hadn’t happened yet. That was time travel for you.   
“I wonder how much longer I can fool the family into thinking I’m on a cruise serving drinks.” Jessica’s voice was casual and calm. He glanced over at her.  
“I’m sorry you have to go through this.”   
“Ehh… it’s ok. Except Kevin keeps asking me about things and I know nothing about ships.”   
“Kevin,” Something was seriously wrong. Jessica’s brother Kevin had died several years before she was born of cancer. “But Jessica he’s dead.”  
“Dead, what are you talking about? You two go deep sea fishing all the time.” Jessica sat up looking amused.  
“Jessica in my timeline he died before you were born of cancer.”  
“Oh yeah, he did get cancer but he was fine. There was some experimental stem cell thing.” Jessica replied.   
“Where did your family get the money?” That was the kind of thing Rittenhouse did. Paid desperate people to save their children and ensure their loyalty to Rittenhouse.  
“I don’t know. I don’t know much about this. It happened before I was born.” Jessica looked a little offended.  
“What aren't you telling me?”  
“I don’t understand why you are treating me like this. I don’t know what happened with the money.” Jessica sat up and stared at him.  
“Was it Rittenhouse?”   
“What? Of course not. My parents just went to the hospital.” Jessica shook her head. “You know I shouldn’t be surprised you’re playing this card.”  
“What are you talking about?” The panic was clawing its way into his throat. Something was deeply wrong with this.  
“The let’s make my wife out to be the villain so I can leave her for another woman.” Jessica leaned closer. “Don’t think I don’t know about you and your ‘historian’. Little Lucy. She looks so sweet but she’s not. Trying to steal my husband away from me. Not that she’ll stick with you. She’s the type who drops and runs. Seems she’s already found new prey.”  
“What are you talking about? Lucy and I…” The words sounded convincing even to his ears.  
“Tell me, you’ve slept with her, haven’t you?” Jessica pulled out the words triumphantly.  
“I….” He took a deep breath. “You were dead. You’d been dead for four years.”  
“Yeah, well we’re currently living with your ex. While you were so upset I dared even talk to mine. How do I know you aren’t seeing her when you go off on your little trips together?”  
“We...I would never.”   
“You’ve cheated on me before. Why would this be any different? You're trying to accuse me of being part of your crazy cult without a shred of evidence just so you can make yourself feel better about our marriage collapsing. Well, fine. I still have those papers. You sign them, and I’ll leave.”   
The words stung. Perhaps he was just subconsciously blaming Jessica for Henry’s disappearance. Surely this suspicion had to be just that, suspicion. The idea that Jessica was Rittenhouse was too horrible to contemplate. After bringing her here, after losing Henry, losing Lucy, finding out all the sacrifice was for nothing would be too much.   
“You know I can’t deal with some other timeline version of me. Besides what about your ex “Mr. Best Six Months of My Life”?” He could handle the attacks against himself. But Lucy was one step too far.  
“We were on break,” Jessica said. For once she seemed a little uncomfortable. “Listen, Wyatt, I don’t want to fight. I just, I really don’t know about my brother. It happened before I was born. And it hurts when you accuse me of something so awful.”  
She started crying, guilt curling in his stomach at the sight. “I’m sorry Jessica. It’s just I’m a little on edge with this Rittenhouse thing.”  
“Accusing your own wife.” Jessica sniffed and wiped her eyes. “Besides, I think the person you should be suspicious of is that Flynn guy. He’s always creeping around corners watching us. He freaks the hell out of me.”  
“I don’t like him here either. But Jessica, you need to understand Lucy isn’t trying to break up our marriage. She’s not that kind of person.”   
“Maybe not.” Jessica shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about her.”  
She leaned forward, pressed a kiss to his lips and then said, “You know what I want for Christmas?”  
“What?” He’d forgotten Christmas was right around the corner.   
“A baby. You keep saying next year but then you never agree. I want a baby.” The words stung like a knife. No, no, no. Once, a long time ago, he’d wanted to have a baby with Jessica. But he’d been busy and life had gone on and it always felt like they’d have more time. Then he’d had Henry. Now, any child with Jessica would erase Henry forever.   
“Jessica,” he began.   
“I know you’re going to say no and I’m sick of it. You expect me to stay in this relationship when I get nothing out of it.” Jessica’s flash of anger made him feel even more worthless.   
“I’m sorry, I just worry with this whole time travel, it’s too dangerous. Waiting every time to make sure we didn’t erase the kid.”   
“Yeah, well why don’t you just leave? Quit this team. We could be together in someplace better than this hell hole.” Jessica brightened at the thought.  
“I can’t quit the team.” The very idea was preposterous.  
“Won’t. Don’t want to lose your precious Lucy.” Jessica’s odd mood swings made him nervous. There was something wrong here. But surely, this had to be his imagination.  
“It’s my job. I’m in the military. It’s not like I can just pick my assignments.”   
“This isn’t a typical assignment.” Jessica smiled. “Besides you could ask to be transferred. I get it. I’m not important enough to you.”  
“Listen, Jessica, this isn’t working. You aren’t happy, you’re stuck in this hell hole…”   
"I get it. The job always comes first." Jessica sighed. "That much hasn't changed. I can't take this much longer."  
He was going to lose her. And at this point, she was all he had left. 

 

It took almost a week for the rest of them to develop an inkling of suspicion that Jessica might have any connection at all to Rittenhouse. Jessica continued to say her brother being saved was some experimental research the hospital had been willing to do free of charge provided they signed the papers that the hospital wasn't liable for something happening to him. Wyatt had to admit it was plausible. Distrusting her felt like a betrayal of their marriage.  
Then Agent Christopher dropped her own bombshell. There were pictures of Jessica on Rittenhouse computers going way back to her childhood. That wasn’t surprising if her family had been recruited.   
“I’m afraid that we’ll have to ask Jessica to leave. I’ll get her Witness Protection if she wants it but I can’t compromise the safety of this location.” Agent Christopher’s words were matter of fact and calm.  
“If she goes, I’ll go too. If what you’re saying is true she’s been under their surveillance for years. She’s in danger.”   
“Wyatt, Jessica could be the danger.” Connor Mason’s tone was all too pitying.   
“Of course not. She’s innocent.” If she’s not I lost Henry for a Rittenhouse sleeper agent. She has to be innocent.  
The sound of the alarm broke in on the conversation. With relief, he focused on the mission at hand. Lucy had been notably silent through the whole exchange. She looked devastated. She hadn’t ceased to look devastated ever since they’d lost Henry. She stumbled through a talk on the Civil War, even her usual quick wits deserting her. This pain she was experiencing, it couldn’t be entirely in vain.   
Tracking down the sleeper agent among a crowd of Confederates, being forced to pretend to be one of them, briefly distracted him from worries over Jessica. Studying a map he found his gaze falling on Lucy. She looked so soft and beautiful and the realization that he’d have to leave her broke through the cloud of confusion. She didn’t need him, of course, she didn’t. She didn’t need anyone. Well, except for Henry and that was impossible. Jessica needed him. Once, only a few short weeks ago, they’d been so close and now it felt like the space between them stretched forever. The idea of leaving her was so horrible. But what else could he do? Jessica was right. He could hardly stay there forever, surrounded by Lucy’s presence but married to another woman.   
“Wyatt, if Jessica is Rittenhouse she could be dangerous.” Lucy began.  
“What? You think she’s some sleeper agent.” The quick flash of anger was almost unendurably sharp.   
“I don’t know.” She looked down, eyes uneasy.   
Rufus seemed equally nervous, “Wyatt, I know she’s your wife but if there is any evidence she’s Rittenhouse you need to tell us.”  
“I lost her. But if she’s Rittenhouse, I’m done. I can’t...I can’t...I refuse to believe that she’s not the same person I married.”   
The memory of her confession rang in his ear. Jessica had to be telling the truth. Anger and anxiety flickered through his bloodstream. Lucy was cool and collected and seemed all too friendly with Flynn. The quick flash of rage at her mention that she and Flynn worked well together was so strong and overpowering even he was startled. He was losing her, no, he’d already lost her. She was as far away as a distant star. She might have claimed that there was nothing except talking between her and Flynn but he saw the way the other man looked at her.   
In the end, it was Harriet Tubman who saved the day. Why had he ever doubted that the incredible woman could, in fact, save them all? Lucy was still with Flynn, talking with him and looking more at rest than she had been in weeks. The sight was bruising painful.   
“Wyatt,” Lucy’s voice was soft and tender and quiet in the darkness of the bunker. Still dressed in the suit from their mission she made a sharp contrast in her dark sweater and jeans.   
“We’re good?” He questioned. He’d been an ass to her and both of them knew it. “Sorry about snapping at you.”  
“Yeah, we’re good,” Lucy replied patiently. She opened her mouth and then closed it. “Goodnight.”  
Her voice drifted along as he started to move past her. Then unexpectedly her arms reached out and held him fast. The arms that slipped around his neck were soft and gentle but she held him in a much tighter mental grip. She pressed herself close for just one instant. Arms going around her waist he felt the softness of her form. It felt like the old days. When’d he’d held her and kissed her and slept next to her. When Henry was alive. Heartbreak skittered along his mind.   
The urge to kiss her felt impossibly strong and from her quick glance towards his lips, he wasn’t the only one. Tracing the lines of her face like a drowning man looking for a life preserver it took everything not to give in to that impulse. Then just as abruptly she withdrew and disappeared along the corridor.

Jessica was waiting when he got back. She glanced at him and for the first time, he began putting all the pieces together. She looked subtly different. The strong muscles in her arms, the sharp look in her eyes and most of all her telling connection to Rittenhouse made him wonder if Rittenhouse had done more than erase Henry when bringing her back. She might not be dangerous but it was entirely possible she was brainwashed and manipulated by them.   
“Want some tea?” Jessica pointed to a cup on the table by the bed. Wyatt was not particularly fond of tea but it seemed like it might soothe the sudden ache in his throat and she’d gone to the trouble of making it. It was strong black tea, kind of an odd choice for evening but he supposed she liked it.   
“How was the mission?” Jessica glanced up from her computer.  
“Fine,” Wyatt replied. It wasn’t fine, nothing was fine but at this point, it would do no good to get into it. Jessica didn’t even know about Henry.   
“Please, can we just leave this place? Everyone is looking at me so suspiciously and Christopher was giving me the riot act. She treats me like a fucking criminal. I’m not a criminal. I’m not the one killing people.” Jessica’s face twisted into annoyance.   
“I think maybe, you best go into protective custody. It will be much more comfortable. You won’t be stuck in this hell hole all the time. And I’ll visit when I can.” It had to be done. Jessica might not like it but if she was trained by Rittenhouse her loyalties could be divided.  
“I knew it. Knew you couldn’t leave your girlfriend. Trying to fuck her behind my back. Well, fine, sign the papers and I’ll leave.” Jessica’s eyes flashed fire.   
“You know that’s not true.”  
“Really? All I know is that everyone thinks the sun rises and sets on Lucy fucking Preston when she’s trying to steal my husband.” Jessica’s tone made him see red.   
“Shut up. You don’t know anything about Lucy. She is a saint. You know nothing of what she’s been through. What I’ve been through.” The sudden flash of rage erupted out of nowhere.   
“Oh, what have you been through? Stop playing the victim.”   
“I lost a son.” The minute the words came out it was like a dam had burst. Henry’s loss felt more intense than ever. Now that he no longer had to pretend.  
“What are you talking about?” Jessica’s face registered shock and a little panic.  
“Lucy and I were together for months. We were living together and engaged. And we had a son named Henry. He was only three months old. When we came back, he was gone. He’d never been born. So you want to tell me that Lucy Preston isn't a fucking saint to be living in the same house as the woman who replaced her child.”  
Jessica’s mouth opened in shock. “Oh my god, Wyatt. I didn’t know.”  
“I couldn’t tell you. But now you know why things are complicated.”   
“I didn’t ask to be brought back. I didn’t go trying to erase kids.” Jessica started crying. “Now I get why you hate me so much.”  
“I don’t hate you.”   
“You don’t love me anymore.” Jessica brushed the tears away. “Just sign the papers so I can go away and get back to work.”  
“I don’t hate you. But things have changed. I’m not the guy you married. And you’re not the woman I married. Maybe it’s best.”  
Jessica sighed and reached over and pulled out a manila envelope. “Here,” she tossed it at him. “Just sign and tomorrow I’ll get them filed.”  
It no longer felt right to continue this charade of marriage with Jessica. Now that she knew the truth she would finally understand everything. Even though it was too late to fix things with Lucy he at least had the memory of Henry with her. He no longer had to hide his grief and pain. The signature appears on the page, final and demanding.  
“I’m going to bed.” Jessica flipped off the light on her side of the bed. Her back was to him. Rigid and straight she hardly looked sleepy.  
Exhaustion sent him straight to sleep. A few hours later the bed beside him was empty. Jessica was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: More pain. I'm sorry. I promise things are looking up soon. I think Wyatt is even more jealous of Flynn because he and Lucy were together for some time and engaged. It's not an excuse but it's understandable especially considering Lucy made the first move to run away.   
> I really, really hate my version of Jessica. She's a serial gaslighter and emotionally abusive. I hate those scenes between them but I feel like it's important to see her manipulating him. In my story, I didn't make Jessica claim a pregnancy. It would have been way too soapy and I'm not really willing to make them suffer that much. Jessica preys on Wyatt's guilt over technically having an affair (because he was married to her in the other timeline) and makes him feel bad about his feelings for Lucy. I don't actually think she's genuinely jealous of Lucy but she plays that card to make him feel sorry for her. Jessica also knew about Henry's existence. I think she actually feels a smidgen of guilt about that. I think Henry is the only thing Jessica feels a little guilty about. Anyway, she's a horrible person in this story. (She drugged the tea in the last scene but Wyatt didn't drink much so he was mostly ok.)


	9. Part 5 Chapter 1

Nothing in Lucy’s life had prepared her for the loss of Henry. She’d lost so much already, Amy of course, but also her job, her faith in humanity and her mother. And now she’d lost her son. The moment she knew Jessica was back she began pushing Wyatt away. The ring disappeared into a pocket, never to be worn again. The door was firmly shut. She saw he was divided and confused. It was easier for both of them to make the decision. Lucy wasn’t going to be the “other woman”. She wasn’t going to break up a marriage between the true love of his life when it wouldn’t help bring Henry back.   
Mechanically she got through the Salem mission, depending solely on adrenalin. Lying in bed, alone and seemingly unmourned, she pleaded with whatever deity existed to let her go. Death would maybe reunite her with her son. Although he’d just never existed. He wasn’t dead. People didn’t go to heaven when they’d never been born. At the very least the pain of his loss would no longer exist.   
She was vaguely conscious of Wyatt sitting beside the bed but it only hurt the more knowing he’d brought Jessica back. She’d somehow believed he’d just leave the bunker to be with Jessica. Not leave her to suffer here, right under Jessica’s nose.   
Rounding the corner a few days later she saw Jessica making tea. A wave of pure hatred filled her at seeing the woman whose existence had destroyed Lucy’s life. Jessica was a perfectly nice person as Lucy discovered. But the rage she felt didn’t diminish. It couldn't diminish.   
The weeks passed in one unendurable wave of pain after another. She knew Wyatt was hurting, saw the pain in his eyes as clearly as she saw it on her own face, but he belonged to Jessica now. She knew Wyatt hadn’t told Jessica about Henry. It made sense, hiding it, but it made her feel like his dirty little secret.   
Lucy knew he was conflicted. She knew part of him still loved her. But she also knew he still loved Jessica and what’s more, felt he owed Jessica something. And that was simple. She, Lucy Preston, would always be second place. She’d always be the woman he’d settled with after having a child with her.   
There was only one other person who understood what she was going through. Flynn. He’d lost a child to Rittenhouse too. From the first second that Henry had disappeared, he’d looked at her with understanding. In spite of herself, she found herself trusting him.   
She spent the whole time that night in his room talking about Henry. Describing in great detail everything about her son. The soft little whimper he made when she held him close, the sound of his sons when he was frightened, the way his eyes looked. She knew she was talking about Wyatt a lot too. The months they’d lived together. Flynn didn’t judge her for her anger.   
“I see murder in your eyes when you look at her.” Flynn’s observation scared her.  
“I hate her. I shouldn’t hate her. I mean...she’s a nice person. But when I see her I know she’s the reason Henry doesn’t exist.” Lucy took another swallow of alcohol noticing the burn and wishing it would fade from her heart just as easily.  
“I understand.”   
She knew it made Wyatt jealous to see her with Flynn. She didn’t care. What did he think she would do? Find the next warm body? It wasn’t as if she was in the habit of completely meaningless flings. Not that being with Flynn would be meaningless. She considered him a friend. But still, she wasn’t stupid enough not to know that any relationship with them would be the dregs of two lonely people who lost their children and were trying to find some peace. Wyatt had Jessica. He had no right to judge her for where and with whom she found comfort.  
Finding out Jessica could be Rittenhouse made her hate her all the more. All of this pain for a Rittenhouse pawn. But Wyatt predictably refused to believe it. Silently she raged against his steadfast trust in a woman she now saw for what she was. The kind of love he’d poured out for Jessica. There was no one who would ever love her that way. It might be stupid and selfish of him but he loved Jessica so much.   
“You pushed him away before he could leave.” Flynn’s observation left her reeling. “I saw you take off that ring long before he’d made a move towards her.”  
“He knew how I felt about him,” Lucy replied doubtfully. Had he though? Wyatt was insecure under that veneer of self-confidence and bravado. And she’d always been the one who had the money and family connections. All thanks to Rittenhouse.  
“Did he? Or did he assume you only stayed with him because of Henry.”   
“I don’t know.” Lucy wiped at her eyes impatiently and said firmly, “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late now.”  
He was leaving her. To be with Jessica. She saw him start to move past her and then she reached out. For one long moment, she was going to be selfish. Enjoy the comfort and warmth before he left her forever. It brought so many memories back. All those days in their apartment, comfortably settled next to each other on the sofa or those nights wrapped in each other’s arms. Holding Henry and struggling through those first months of new parenthood. Losing him and then finding him. Those weeks before Hollywoodland. The night by the pool and the ring that still lay in her underwear drawer. She said goodbye to all of it. It killed her to do it. But what other choice did she have?

 

Jessica was gone. She’d taken the Lifeboat and Jiya and disappeared. Lucy was trying to deal with the aftermath of this when she heard Wyatt confess that he had known Jessica's brother was supposed to be dead in his timeline and that her parents had come into some experimental treatment without having the money to pay for it.  
“I told her to leave last night. I signed those papers. She said she’d file them in the morning.” His tone was frantic.  
“You lied to us.” Rufus’s tone was unforgiving. “You told us that there was nothing to worry about. And there was.”  
Lucy swallowed hard. This whole thing hurt so much. Jiya was kidnapped and the idea of anything bad happening to her broke her heart.   
“Good God, Wyatt. Didn’t they teach you anything? Didn’t you think “this seems suspicious”? She screwed you over and now she screwed us over.” Flynn’s tone of anger and derision was understandable.  
Wyatt lunged for him but Flynn neatly dodged it. “You need to figure out how to fix this Wyatt. I’m not the enemy here.”  
It took three days to locate Jiya and several more to fix the Lifeboat. By the time they arrived in Chinatown Lucy’s anxiety over Jiya’s safety had reached a fever pitch. Seeing Jessica with Emma and her mother made her stomach twist into heavy knots. And then her mother was lying cold and dead at her feet. Another crushing loss. Another sad and desperate moment. In the end, her mother’s only regret wasn’t indoctrinating her sooner.   
“I’ve lost everything.” Lucy glanced down at her mother’s body. She desperately hoped Flynn wouldn’t say some trite and meaningless statement or even worse something like Wyatt had said after she’d been rescued from Rittenhouse. Her mental state couldn’t handle a call back to that moment.   
“I understand.” The words flowed through her. Just having someone who understood the pain that was currently coursing through her veins gave her a measure of calmness. She took a deep breath.   
Then Rufus was lying dead in Jiya’s arms and the grief took flight. A flash of powerful blinding rage left her following after Emma, holding a gun to Emma and about to pull the trigger.  
“I’ve lost everyone. My sister, my mother, Rufus and my son. I want to see you suffer as much as I have.” Lucy’s hands shook as she held the gun. Emma stared up at her, a flash of fear in her eyes.  
But in the end, her aim was off and Emma had her hands around Lucy’s throat. This was death then. Lucy let go. She’d see Rufus soon. Maybe Henry. She wouldn’t be so crushingly alone. She relaxed against the alleyway ground and felt her mind drift back to Houdini’s statement that fear wasn’t real.   
“Lucy,” She could hear the panic in a familiar voice. Flynn. He lifted her up and held her close. She was incoherent with sobs. Everything hurt. Her mind, her heart, her soul.   
“Why didn’t you let her finish me off?” She sobbed. “I can’t take this anymore.”  
“Because we’ve lost enough people.”   
He was right of course. She knew she was needed, in her own sort of way. But it would have been so much easier to let go. He understood that. Hadn’t she come to that bar in Sao Paulo because she understood?   
Somehow she made it back to the Lifeboat. Jessica had been shot by Flynn while she and Jiya dragged themselves away. Flynn had been shot by Emma and his shirt was stained with blood. Lucy’s hands shook as she and Jiya clung to each other before Jiya pushed the buttons to send them back to 2018.   
It was torture. Lucy felt the full weight of despair settle over her as she sank down against the wall. Rufus was gone. Her mother was gone. Her son was gone. There was nothing left. The cold pack against her cheek kept her present, tethered to a despairing world. She saw Wyatt emerge from the bathroom and spot her. She didn’t want to speak to him. She didn’t want to speak to him ever again. But she knew she had to. Somehow she had to.  
Lucy laid the pack down. He seemed to take that as the invitation it was and sat down beside her. She caught a glimpse at his face. The pain and sadness were just as clearly written on his face as must have been on hers. They were so broken. So, so broken.   
“This, all of this is my fault. I promised to protect Rufus. I failed. He’s dead because of me.” Wyatt’s voice was low and tearful.   
“You aren’t responsible. Rufus went to 1888 knowing that this might happen but he took the risk to save Jiya. You kept her safe. That’s what he would have wanted.” Lucy’s own tears couldn’t be held back.   
“I ruined us.” Wyatt’s voice took on a even softer tone, barely audible over the sound of the bunker.  
Lucy thought back to the moment it all started. The moment she discovered Jessica was back. How she’d instantly pushed him away and removed her ring. The deep-seated resentment springing up out of nowhere that he got the love of his life back while she got nothing. His obvious reluctance to leave her. Dragging Jessica to the bunker. The times he reached out to her for her to push him away. Her keeping Jessica in the bunker. The joke that Rufus had made and he’d laughed about. Getting angry over Flynn. His shielding of Jessica. It all made a dizzy whirling picture of pain and sadness.  
“I made mistakes too.” Lucy felt tears slowly slid down her cheeks. “I just wanted you to be happy. After losing Henry, I decided that since we can’t bring him back at least someone would get what they wanted. But I never asked you what you wanted.”  
“I thought you didn’t care.” His voice wavered. “I thought I owed her something. I thought she deserved some happiness after destroying her life.”  
“She was good at playing the victim.” Lucy felt her heart continue to ache but the anger was fading. She knew he’d been wrong to hide Jessica’s Rittenhouse connection from them but she did understand in a way how guilty he was for losing Jessica the first time around and how Jessica had painted herself as a victim.   
“I still love you, Lucy. I never stopped. I know it’s too late. I’ve killed everything. You don’t need to say anything. When we lost Henry, my life ended. I just survived.” Lucy tried to feel something at the words. All she felt was numbness. She’d loved Wyatt for so long. And now it felt like her heart was begging for an end to this.  
“The problem isn’t that I don’t love you. I don’t see a way forward.” Lucy felt her own heartbreak again. This felt so painful. So overwhelmingly sad. She saw his eyes fill with tears, a drop falling on his cheek before he turned his head again.   
The rush of the Lifeboat returning flickered through the air. Lucy started and felt Wyatt get up. “What was that?” she whispered.  
“I don’t know.”  
The rest were running too, Agent Christopher and Wyatt with guns drawn. Another Lifeboat bumped into place beside theirs. The hatch opened and Lucy saw two figures stand up. The man stepped into view first. It was Wyatt though unlike the one standing beside her. His face was covered in a heavy dark beard and the muscles on his body indicated he’d grown even stronger over the years. But the woman, that was her. The very first glance at the woman with the short cropped hair and dark eyes made her want to run. She had strong muscles herself and a gun strapped to her back. She looked terrifying.   
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Future Wyatt spoke.  
“Do you want to get Rufus back or what?” Her future self said.  
The two jumped off the side of the Lifeboat amidst exclamations of unbelief and shock. “That’s us.” Lucy turned to the man standing beside her.   
“We aren’t immune to the effects of travel.” Future Wyatt spoke.  
“Where...I mean when are you from.” Lucy asked.  
“2023. We are still fighting Rittenhouse. They’ve taken over everything. It’s a losing battle. That’s why we need Rufus.” Future Lucy’s face was somber and despairing.   
“How?” Wyatt asked.   
“Here. Read this and figure it out together.” Future Lucy thrust a volume into Wyatt’s hands. It was the journal Lucy had supposedly been meant to write.  
“Together, you mean us.” Lucy pointed between her and Wyatt.  
“Yes, together.” Future Lucy was very adamant about that.   
“What about Henry? Can we get him back?” Wyatt stopped them suddenly.  
The look of pain on both of their future selves made Lucy’s heart break. There was no bringing Henry back, was there? He was as lost as Amy.   
“If we bring Rufus back you might be able to get Henry back. That’s why you have to do that.” Future Wyatt spoke. “But you have to sacrifice Jessica. She’s the reason we came back. She’s going to destroy us all.”  
Suddenly Future Lucy’s face screwed up in a look of terrible pain as her hand pressed against her head. “I’ve got to go.”  
“Are you… I mean am I ok?” Lucy started to stop her future self from leaving. The woman gave her an odd sense of comfort.   
“She’ll be fine but she has to go.” Future Wyatt propelled his companion towards their Lifeboat. “We’ll leave our Lifeboat. It’s easier to manage.”  
“You can pilot it?” Jiya’s voice was astonished.  
“We’ve learned a lot in these five years.” Future Wyatt sounded hardened and a little bitter. His hand on her future self’s back practically pushing her into the Lifeboat was startlingly familiar. “By the way, Merry Christmas.”  
And then a few seconds later the Lifeboat was disappearing, Wyatt’s hand on her arm to draw her back and prevent her from being blown over by the force of the winds. Lucy silently watched the spot where they’d disappeared, still unsure if they’d dreamed it up. The volume in Wyatt’s hand drew her attention.   
The future versions of them had given every indication of being absolutely miserable. Their dirty clothing and rough appearance had startled her. What kind of terrible existence had they come from? The pain on their faces had been more than any time travel related illness. It had been deeply emotional. Rufus was still gone. Rittenhouse was still out there. And Henry was disappeared. There had been a funny distance between them as well. As if their relationship was as frigid as the world they came from.   
Wyatt muttered something about the journal before disappearing to his room. Jiya was looking the most animated of all of them, wandering around inspecting the new Lifeboat. Lucy saw Flynn watching her. The gaze made her feel a little uncomfortable. She stepped back and followed Wyatt to his room.   
She found his face buried in his hands. A wave of sympathy passed over her. She did feel immense sympathy with him. She’d been on the reciveing end of Rittenhouse manipulation. She’d seen her mother plot and scheme and lie her way into getting Lucy to do what she wanted. To have his beloved wife turned into a total monster was beyond cruel. To know he’d have to make the decision between Jessica and Henry.   
“Are you ok?” The tenderness in her voice surprised even her. She wanted to reach out and touch his face, smooth out the pained lines. She was thinking of his future self and the clear sadness under the bravado.   
“I can’t believe she’d ever become that,” Wyatt spoke softly. “ I mean I knew she was Rittenhouse but she acted like she might possibly change. Stop being Rittenhouse.”  
“That’s the way it always is. That’s what my mom did. She isn’t the woman that I thought she was.” Lucy felt her voice soften again. No matter what it would always come down to this. She’d always want to shield him.   
“There isn’t time for this. Rufus is our priority.” Wyatt shook himself with an effort and sat down on the bed. “Want to do the honors?”  
Silently Lucy picked up the journal, beginning to flip through the journal. The frequent mentions of Henry made her heart twist.   
"I held Henry in my arms again for the first time since I was captured. This precious child that we created, is there anything I wouldn’t do for him? Is there anything I wouldn’t do for his father?" She read, tears starting to her eyes.  
She saw Wyatt tearing up as well and she kept flipping the pages. Then there was Hollywoodland and the description of the ring. Finally, there were frequent mentions of Jessica and the pain that she had caused her.  
"I have lost everything. What do I have left? I knew Wyatt would always love Jessica more which is why I pushed him away. I won’t be second place. I miss Henry more each day. My son, my little bird."  
“I never meant to hurt you.” The soft words, full of remorse, pulled her back to Wyatt. He was staring at her with that breathtaking adoration she’d seen a few times. It only made her heart ache more. She wanted that look more and more, wanted to drown herself in that soft, blue-eyed gaze but she couldn’t.   
“I know,” Lucy replied. He’d tried to do the right thing. He had been defending his wife. He said he loved her. She’d pushed him away first. It didn’t seem to matter to her cracked and broken heart.   
Then she flipped to a page that truly shocked her. “You and Flynn….” the words came out both shocked and embarrassed as a paragraph full of a description of her kissing Flynn on the Titanic came into view.   
“I’ll umm….just leave this to you.” His discomfort was obvious as was the desire to leave the room.   
Lucy watched him go with a troubled glance. She honestly didn’t understand the journal entry. How could Flynn treat her that way knowing what would happen in the future? And how could she have given up hope of getting Henry back by pursuing a relationship with another man? She wasn’t stupid, there was a certain attraction between them and she did understand a lot of what he’d done after Henry had disappeared. But really? What had she been thinking? Then again perhaps she’d finally kicked that love of a certain blue-eyed man and this would be better. Maybe, in the end, she’d find some relief from the pain like her journal self had. As unbelievable as that might be.   
The blaring of the alarm broke into her troubled thoughts. She only took time to put some makeup on to hide the scars on her face before they were boarding the Lifeboat. The updated Lifeboat with the autopilot of all things.   
Emma was out to get them. Lucy noticed that Emma and Jessica had stuck together. Interesting...Jessica was hardly the helpless victim she portrayed herself to be.   
“Why didn’t you tell me what was in the journal? That we’d be together in the future.” Lucy took the opportunity to confront Flynn about the entry in the journal. She needed to know even if that truth frightened her.   
“Oh, so you got to the good part. You must have thought about it.” His odd inflection made her step back a bit. Honestly, she hadn’t been. She’d been too wrapped up in her own pain. Then again maybe she had thought about it. Hoped for something that would wipe it all away. Old Lucy would have gone and found some guy in a bar. She’d started this whole journey with a one night stand. Why not another one to distract her from her first?   
“Why didn’t you tell me?” was all she said. She couldn’t possibly explain all that was going through her head.  
“Because I didn’t believe it would happen.” His reply surprised her. “The journal isn’t very accurate as to what happens.”  
Lucy turned away slightly. She’d been running under the impression that somehow this was all fated. It gave her a feeling of lightness in her chest knowing she had a choice in it all. She didn’t have to start a relationship on the Titanic. If that wasn’t what she wanted she didn’t need to do it.   
“Besides I did try to kill you a few times. And I’m not exactly your type.” His self-deprecating laugh made her start slightly.   
“I’m the one who knows my type,” Lucy replied a little tartly. She didn’t like him speaking for her. “Obviously my future self must have seen something different. Perhaps I already do.”  
“Stop it.” The blunt reply startled her. Had she been mistaken in thinking he’d been flirting with her? “If you’d read further in that journal you’d have seen that the affair we had ended very badly. Because your heart always belonged to another. And besides, you know that you can never fully move on, not while Henry is still lost.”  
He was calling her bluff. Lucy flushed guiltily and glanced over at Wyatt. He knew her future self had been looking for something, anything to numb the pain she’d faced. She’d been desperate to be loved. But in the end, it had blown to pieces because she hadn’t been able to quit the drug that was her feelings for Wyatt. It annoyed her that she couldn’t get over it. That she would still feel just as broken and lost five years into the future.  
“ Thank you,” Lucy spoke quietly. “Thank you for being honest.”  
“ I knew when I saw you come back, that you needed to know. She needed you to know. I still believe that we can save the people we love.” His words startled her.   
Sitting by the campsite Lucy silently mulled over the conversation. She now had hope that perhaps Henry could be brought back. But Wyatt would never agree to eliminate Jessica. And if he did agree who would sacrifice themselves? Lucy was willing to do it. Anything to bring her son back. But she knew she wasn’t strong enough to eliminate Jessica. Her future self hadn’t been back five minutes in the past before she was nearly incapacitated with a headache.   
“I’ve been reading this book and the only way to bring Rufus back is to eliminate Jessica from the timeline. That’s the only way to bring Henry back. But I’m the one who has to do it.” Wyatt’s voice broke into her thoughts.  
“Nonsense. What good would it be to bring Rufus back if you died too? I’ll go with you.” Lucy felt panic well up in her at the mere thought of Wyatt dying.   
“Rufus didn’t deserve to die. You didn’t deserve to be hurt by my actions. No, someone has to do it and it has to be me.”   
“I’ll go with too. We can do it together.” Jiya’s tone was just as adamant.  
“As noble as you all sound, if you all die trying to save Rufus, who will be alive to fight Rittenhouse?” Flynn’s quiet amusement had a note of sadness.  
“Well, we’ll figure it out in the morning.” Lucy knew they had to focus on the current mission. But her mind was troubled. She was terrified Wyatt would sneak off and try to do something reckless. The idea of his death shook her to the core, even after everything.   
She woke up sometime in the night to find Flynn missing. “Where is Flynn?” she asked Wyatt who was still awake and reading the journal.  
“He said he wanted to scout around the mill a bit,” Wyatt replied.   
“Ok,” Lucy replied. Then she spoke, a soft whisper he could only hear, “I’d do anything to get Henry back.”  
“I know. I would too.” Wyatt replied. “That’s why I have to be the one to do it.”  
“But…” Lucy began.  
“That’s why they came back. So that I can go back but you’ll be safe. You’ll be great raising Henry.” Wyatt spoke softly. “I know you are the best mother. He’ll be happy with you.”  
“I won’t let you go alone,” Lucy replied.   
“Then Henry would have no parents. Lucy, let me do this. Let me fix this.” The tortured light in his eyes shook her to the core. She reached out her hand to him.   
“No...there has to be another way.” Lucy felt tears slide down her cheeks. “Promise me, you won’t go and leave me here.”   
“No, I won’t. I promise.”  
Relief flowed through her. She’d figure out a way to save them all.  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
Rufus Carlin rescuing them had to be the best moment of Lucy’s life. Seeing his bright, beloved face shouting “Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals,” made her heart expand several sizes. It was absolutely wonderful. She flung her arms around him, Wyatt doing the same in the most wonderful group hug ever.   
“Wow, um what?” Rufus was clearly startled by the sudden exuberance especially when Jiya ran and gave him a fervent kiss.   
“You were dead. You died in 1888 Chinatown.” They all spoke over each other.  
“Flynn must have done this.” Lucy felt her heart sinking. She had a bad feeling about what had happened.  
“Does that mean I have to hug him too?” Rufus replied.   
Lucy was about to explain further when Murrieta called him and Jiya ran after him. Lucy was left alone with Wyatt. She glanced over at him, joy and pure anguish warring in his eyes. “So I guess Jessica is gone…”   
Lucy felt the same heartstopping tug at her heart. “Henry might be there.” Wyatt’s voice wavered but a smile shone through.  
“Oh my god.” Lucy babbled. The joy was too intense but the pain still lingered.  
“I guess this is why you end up with Flynn.” Wyatt’s voice was quiet and resigned as he placed the journal in her hands as if admitting defeat. That it was impossible to fight against that kind of heroism.   
She watched him move towards the door, heart in her throat. “I didn’t.”   
He turned towards her, a confused expression on his face. “I didn’t end up with him.”  
She could see the dawning hope in his face just as Rufus’s voice rang out, calling them to go outside. Lucy was overwhelmed with all the emotions flooding her. It felt like standing in the middle of a windstorm. Rufus had taken out the sleeper agent and they made preparations to go back to the present. Lucy looked down at the journal and noticed a folded paper sticking out.   
"Dear Lucy,  
If you are reading this I guess I didn’t make it back. Maybe that’s for the best when you think about what I’ve done in the past. To the team, to you. We both wanted to stop Rittenhouse, but somehow you didn’t let it destroy you the way I did. We both lost our children to Rittenhouse. But you didn’t lose your humanity.   
So if anyone’s expendable on this team, it’s me. Tell Rufus he can thank me later. I have to admit I don’t hate the guy. If my plan works you will have Henry back in your arms. I know you will raise him to be a good man.   
I’ll be lying if I said I have no regrets. I regret the pain I caused you, Lucy. And maybe by doing this, I can find a small way to make things right. So you can have the future you deserve. I know, with time you’ll forgive Wyatt...because you love him. And deep down, you know he was just trying to do the right thing, same as you. I know that having Henry back will help. I hope you get everything you want in life. I hope you can be happy. I hope you and Wyatt and Henry can be a real family together, in a world safe from Rittenhouse. I believe we must make a world safe so that our children can live without fear that history will change.   
I hope you get your sister back too. There are some things in the journal I could never understand but it’s lead us this far. Since you came to me that day in Sao Paulo, you were the one good thing in my life. The one thing I could not hate after I lost my family. Never give up trying to save the world from Rittenhouse. And then maybe you can save the ones you love.   
With Love,  
Garcia Flynn"  
Lucy looked up with tears in her eyes. She had trouble believing that Flynn had sacrificed his life so Rufus and Henry could live. Even after finding out how poorly her future self had treated him. He’d become a friend, perhaps there had been some interest, but now she saw how tragic it had become. Both caught up in the pain of their losses they’d bonded over those losses.   
“Lucy, you ok?” Wyatt’s concerned voice drew her out of her maze of sad thoughts.  
“Flynn, he left me a note,” Lucy replied. She brushed the tears away. “He brought back Henry.”  
“Henry? He was gone.” Rufus’s voice rose in alarm. “I saw him this morning.”  
“He’s alive.” Lucy’s hand reached out and grasped Rufus’s at the same time Wyatt did. Rufus looked a little surprised at their exuberance.   
“Yeah, I mean short of another time change he’s alive. He’s starting to cry constantly.” Rufus pretended annoyance but they saw the hidden smile on his face.   
“Oh my god.” Jiya babbled. “You guy’s I’m so happy for you.”  
“We need to go back, now,” Wyatt said. She could see the panic on his face that somehow they would change something and lose Henry.  
The Lifeboat set down in the present and the hatch opened. Lucy unbuckled her seatbelt with shaking hands and flew to the opening with legs that could barely carry her. Agent Christopher was holding Henry in her arms. She was smiling and rocking him as Lucy scrambled down the steps, nearly falling in her haste to get to her son. There was a biological, primal urge to hold him, deep inside, a desire stronger than any other. She would cross boiling lava for him. Hands outstretched she reached for him.   
“Let me hold him.” She cried out. Agent Christopher handed her Henry with a confused glance. Lucy held him tight, sobbing and nearly screaming in relief.  
He was older and heavier than he’d been in her memory. The eyes looked at her with familiarity and he started touching her face. Lucy gazed into his still vivid blue eyes and knew at that moment, that all the suffering her future self had gone through had been silenced at this moment. No matter what, she would have her baby back.   
She looked up to see Wyatt right behind her, a hand resting on Henry’s arm, tears rolling down his cheeks as he silently watched them. Lucy realized she’d been selfish hogging her baby like this and moved so that Henry half rested in Wyatt’s arms. “You’re so healthy and happy, little bug.” His high pitched baby voice sounded choked with sobs.   
“Has the timeline changed?” Agent Christopher was watching them, alarm on her face. It was Jiya who told the whole story. Lucy managed to interject a little as did Wyatt but she felt they were both too overwhelmed to do anything but mutely hold Henry.   
Agent Christopher and Mason began researching what happened to Flynn as Lucy sank down on the sofa, still holding Henry. Wyatt was basically attached to her, hand always resting somewhere on their son’s body. An hour or two passed and then Agent Christopher gathered them together.  
“We did a little digging and apparently after dispatching Jessica, Flynn sent the Lifeboat back to 1848.” Agent Christopher spoke gravely.  
“And he’s still trapped in 2012. Wyatt gave up Jessica and Flynn died for me? And Henry of course.” Rufus looked shocked. Finding out you died had to mess with your head. Lucy could only imagine how hard that was to hear.  
“Was. We did some research and a body of a John Doe was found in the sand dunes.” Agent Christopher pointed to the file lying on the table.  
“Obviously the effects of traveling along your own timeline were too much for him,” Mason spoke with sadness.  
“Or he wanted to see his family one last time.” Christopher finished.   
Lucy silently cried. It was so sad. Then Mason came forward with drinks and said, “I propose a toast to Garcia Flynn.”  
They all accepted a glass and then Wyatt spoke, shocking Lucy completely. “To Flynn, who sacrificed his life so we can continue to fight Rittenhouse. And who helped make the world safe for our children. His courage and heroism won’t be forgotten.”   
Mason said simply, “To Garcia.”  
They all drank and then Lucy placed the glass down. She suddenly needed air, needed a chance to say her goodbyes to someone who’d given her the best gift in the world. She transferred a sleeping Henry to Wyatt’s arms and pressed a kiss to the baby’s soft cheek. Letting her son out of her sight felt horrible but somehow she felt she had to face this one alone.   
Lucy went to the stairs leading to the Lifeboat and sat down. She began flipping through the journal and Flynn’s note, the sadness of the sacrifice weighing her down. The way before her was just as confusing as ever. Her heart still felt torn to shreds by the pain she’d experienced.   
“Did my mother die in this timeline?” Lucy stopped Agent Christopher as the woman passed by.  
“Yes, Emma murdered her on the last mission.”   
Well, some things don’t change. Lucy glanced down at the journal. “I heard that you spent more than a month without Henry.”  
“He was gone.” Lucy took a deep breath, feeling the tears slide down her cheeks yet again. “It was the worst time of my life.”  
“I can’t imagine that.” She felt the older woman put her arms around her. “I was afraid it would happen to Michelle. But for us, we would have never have known about this change. But you, you had to live with it.”  
“He’s back though,” Lucy replied. “I still have trouble wrapping my head around Flynn doing something like that.”  
“I guess he had a soft spot for you, even if you were married to someone else.” Agent Christopher said softly.   
“Married?” Lucy echoed. She knew that she and Wyatt had been engaged but never suspected this alternative version of her would have married so quickly. She prayed Agent Christopher had misspoken.   
“Yes, a week ago.” Agent Christopher’s face changed as she realized the truth, “You weren’t together in your timeline, were you?”  
“Jessica came back right after we got engaged and everything broke in pieces. I don’t know what to do. I guess I guess we can get divorced.” Lucy felt tears prick her eyes because this timeline felt like a dream. A dream that would never come true. She and Wyatt weren’t truly married. Now they felt so far apart it seemed impossible that they could have ever been those people.  
“Yes, you can. But Lucy, no matter how different these last few weeks have been, I want you to know that you were happy. And I believe you can if you want to, recapture that. I’ve been with Michelle for nearly twenty years, and there were times I was afraid I’d lost her forever. You know, with this job I was rarely home. But we stuck it out, through the bad and good times.”  
Lucy nodded. It still hurt but she knew that somehow they’d have to make a go at it. With Henry back they had to focus on being the best parents they could be.   
“How did it happen? I mean, who officiated? When?” The questions bubbled up.   
“I did. And it was in this bunker, right in front of the Lifeboat if you can believe it. Emma jumped right in the middle of the party so you had to rush to get your wedding dress off before following her from changing the Civil War. I can’t say you got much of a Honeymoon. Not with a baby and a time travel war. But you were so happy. And you looked so beautiful.” Agent Christopher sighed wistfully.   
“There must be pictures somewhere.” Lucy didn’t know if she could handle the pictures but she had to look at them.   
“They’re on your phone”  
“I’ll um...go look at them.” Lucy murmured. She silently touched Flynn’s note. She’d be forever grateful for his sacrifice. He’d help to make the world safe for children like Henry to grow up.   
She hadn’t realized the emotions that would come up seeing the room set up just like it had been before Jessica. The crib pushed against the wall by the bed. The cubbies with clothes and books and baby toys. The bed with its neat blue bedspread. The little table and chairs by the door. It was so cozy. The sight that really did her in was the white dress hanging by the closet. Mouth open, she fought back tears at the fluffy lace and ruffles.   
Wyatt was hastily packing his stuff in his suitcase but she noticed his hands shaking and the glimmer of tears in his eyes. Henry was up again and babbling in his crib. Wyatt stopped to lean over the crib and stroke his cheek. “Little man, I’ll be just in the other room. And Mommy will be here. Mommy will take care of you.”  
“Agent Christopher said…” Lucy trailed off at the startled look on his face. Clearly, he hadn’t heard her come in.   
“That we were together.” Wyatt began, glancing at the dress. “And married.”  
“Yeah,” Lucy swallowed.   
“I’ll just sleep on the couch. But I can take Henry in the middle of the night so you can get some sleep.” Wyatt continued packing.   
“That’s not necessary. There are two beds.” Lucy replied awkwardly.   
“Are you sure?” Wyatt’s glance at the enjoined beds seemed to perfectly match her own disappointment. She experienced a shocking longing for the might have been and what ifs. They were legally married. Just as married as Wyatt and Jessica. They had a child together. This tangle involved so much more than hurt feelings and their own lives. She glanced over at Henry.   
Lucy sank down in the chair by the door. “In Flynn’s note, he mentions something about getting Amy back. There could be a way.”  
“If there is a way, any way, you should take it.” Wyatt’s irrepressible desire to restore what had been was lovely. But Lucy had seen the dark side of saving the lost. She’d seen Jessica turned into a Rittenhouse pawn. She’d seen Flynn die to bring back Henry and Rufus. What would she lose bringing back Amy?  
“ I don’t know if it will work. Emma said she changed things forever. And even if I do… we have to defeat Rittenhouse first. Otherwise, we’ll”  
“Be those miserable people who paid us a visit.” Wyatt finished.  
The loss of Henry and Rufus must have been the main thing tearing them apart. That and consistently choosing other people. But it was more than the loss of others and the breakdown of their relationship. It was the torn and dirty clothes and the physical evidence of the strain they’d faced in that nightmare timeline.   
“I don’t want to live in a world where we aren’t just Lucy and Wyatt.” His voice was soft, heavy with regret. Lucy sighed.  
“I don’t want to raise Henry in that world.” Lucy glanced at her innocent son. “But once we know what we know, how can we unsee it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Happy Mother's Day to all my American moms whether it is to animals, children or you're just the local mom friend. I decided to post this chapter on this day because my girl Lucy deserves to be happy mom again.   
> I changed the ILY scene because we know that Lyatt has already exchanged those words. In this case, the breakup is closer to a couple on the verge of divorce than the canon possibilities stage. I also wanted to make it clear Lucy played a role in the breakup. It's not so much that they doubt each other's love, they just don't know if that's enough. Also, Wyatt doesn't accidentally hit Lucy. I hated that scene so much. It was so unnecessary.   
> I kept the Flynn/Lucy conversation largely the same. I think it makes sense they might get drawn together in the future timeline because they both lost children to Rittenhouse. But Lucy is a lot more aware of her own feelings so it's easier for her to figure out why her future self acted the way she does.   
> Henry is back! I have never been happier about writing anything. I had to give you all the amazing parents!Lyatt fluff after all the pain they've been through. Also married!Lyatt because it legitimately makes sense their other timeline selves wouldn't want to wait. I know they seem a bit distant but we all know that won't last.


	10. Part 5 Chapter 2

The blare of the siren broke in on the conversation. Lucy leaned over and kissed Henry. It broke her heart leaving him. But she had to. Rittenhouse had to be defeated. “Goodbye, Sweetie. Mommy will be back soon.”   
Wyatt took her place by the bed. He knelt and softly stroked Henry’s cheek. “ We’ll be back. Just be a good boy for Grandma Denise, ok?”   
They raced to the launch room. Mason’s explanation that they were going to North Korea of all places in the middle of the Hungnam Evacuation didn’t make Lucy’s grief over leaving Henry worse. This wouldn’t be an easy mission. She was relatively familiar with the period and the events but she was surprised Wyatt knew so much. He was cagy in revealing his obvious smarts. It had taken her moving in with him to discover that he had a fairly extensive collection of military and sports history and that wasn’t including his collection of books written in foreign languages. She knew she was tired and over wrought but the flash of a turn on hearing him talk about history surprised even her. Damn it, couldn’t her traitorous heart (or more appropriately her body) give her a break?  
She bundled up as much as she could, selecting a long flannel pajama top and leggings. As she passed the bed from the closet she noticed the rings lying there. Her engagement ring, lying wrapped in a handkerchief in her underwear drawer before, now glittered in a small dish that must serve as a ring tray. A simple gold band lay beside it. Lucy’s heart constricted with pain. She wanted so desperately to live in this timeline. She found herself putting the rings on, noticing how perfectly the plain gold band looked with the vintage ring.   
“You….um… found them.” Wyatt’s voice constricted with pain.   
“Yeah, I thought I’d put it on. Just in case we need to umm….” Lucy kept swallowing.   
“Yeah, sure. Of course.” She glanced down at his hand. He was already wearing the ring. The gleam startled her, sending dizziness through her. She’d become accustomed to feeling the pain on seeing his left hand with the prominent ring. She’d gotten used to remembering Grace’s instant knowledge of his marital status by that terrifying bit of metal. Now another such bit adorned his hand but with a different meaning. That ring was her ring. That ring was different than the one he’d worn while married to Jessica. It had a different pattern and a totally different meaning. If only it didn’t feel too late with her broken and bruised heart.

North Korea was cold, so cold her bones felt permanently frozen. Almost dying in a helicopter crash was only the beginning of the adventures they would face. At least they were alive. That was the one thing that comforted her. She knew Agent Christopher would keep Henry safe and take care of him but it made her want to scream at the idea of leaving him again.   
“So, in my timeline, you and Wyatt are married, but I guess that’s not true anymore. At least not in your head. And you lost Henry and Jessica was there and….” Rufus trailed off as he and Lucy walked together. It was wonderful having their friend back and completely healthy and happy.  
“We are technically married. But not…” Lucy swallowed. “It’s not like we had a fight. His wife came back from the dead. And I knew I couldn’t compete with Jessica. And besides, at least one of us deserved to be happy after we lost Henry. But he chose her, and kept choosing her and she turned out to be Rittenhouse. But I’m not going to be second place, not anymore.”  
“No, offense Lucy. But that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen.” Rufus’s blunt statement made her wince.  
“You weren’t there. You didn’t see what happened.” Lucy knew this version of Rufus couldn’t possibly understand what had happened.   
“I saw you guys return from Hollywood engaged. Actually engaged. Not just dating. I mean he tried blowtorching his way out of the bunker when Rittenhouse captured you. So the whole, ‘must save Lucy no matter what’ isn’t new. But after you got hurt in Salem and Wyatt nearly got killed on that Rittenhouse raid I think you two decided not to wait any longer, not if you might not have a lot of time. I saw you two get married and I can’t believe that however as many weeks of Jessica being back changed any of that. I know Wyatt and I are good friends and he gave up Jessica partly to save me and no offense but if he had to give up you up I’d still be dead.”  
Lucy silently digested Rufus’s words. She knew in some ways he was right. They had so little time. Life was so uncertain. Crossing timelines and constant danger seemed to them the most consistent thing in the world. She longed for a world for Henry that wouldn’t be so uncertain.   
Obviously, while on the mission that wasn’t to be so. She and Jiya huddled with the other people in the church. Lucy noticed that Jiya seemed sober. “Rufus doesn’t know me. Not this me. And I’m afraid he won’t love this version of me.”  
As much as Lucy would have liked to reassure her friend that a whole three years of different memories wouldn’t matter, she knew it was a vain hope. Those years mattered to Jiya. They had altered her and it was useless to discount that. Didn’t she know that? Six weeks worth of memories of lost Henry and Jessica and she felt it.   
“Tell me about it. I’m married in this timeline, don’t forget.” Lucy tried making it sound light but it sounded desperate instead. “I do believe you and Rufus, what you have is special. I know Rufus. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. He loves you no matter what.”  
Jiya sighed. “We were fighting a lot over my visions. I think they scared him so much that he just tried shutting me down. Now it feels like I’m just this weirdo broken person. And he keeps expecting me to be the person I was six weeks ago when I’m this person who saw him die.”  
“You are not a weirdo. As for the broken, I guess we’re all a bit broken.” Lucy thought about her sad future self.   
“Yeah,” Jiya chuckled dryly. “No offense, but I still look happier than you and Wyatt did from 2023. Rufus wouldn’t have known what to do with you.”  
“I just wish I could figure out the present. I mean with Henry, things get complicated.” Lucy tried pushing it all away. Tried focusing on the mission. But all she could see was her son and the dizzy complicated life they faced.   
“Just remember, follow what it tells you right here. Not what a journal, or a piece of paper or what other people tell you.” Jiya’s hand touched her chest. Follow your heart might be the most cliché advice ever but Lucy took it to heart. It was what she needed.   
Young Hee’s story felt too familiar to Lucy. She’d been pregnant and knew how the woman felt. The fear and pain she was now experiencing. But Yong Hee had a courage Lucy didn’t know if she could emulate. This woman was practically ready to deliver in five minutes but she was still strong and self-reliant.   
“What’s the good of saving history if we don’t save the people in it? Her child could be her Henry.” Lucy spoke with conviction. Wyatt wanted to protect them, for once acting against his innate desire to help people. But she knew that saving people was the point. Saving Young Hee and her baby was important. It was worth taking the risk.   
“You have another child?” Lucy asked.  
Young Hee nodded, “He’s eight.”  
“I have a son too. He’s almost five months old.” Lucy sighed. “I miss him so much.”  
“But he is safe?” Young Hee asked earnestly.  
“Yes, he is with family. But I can’t wait until I can be with him.” Lucy couldn’t reveal too much. But the age-old story of being separated from her child wasn’t one that Young Hee would find strange.  
In the end, the situation required immediate action. Young Hee was delivering her baby in the middle of nowhere by a roadside hut. Lucy might have had a baby but she was useless in helping. She could only offer moral support. Modern medical care and doctors and nurses had eased the pain.   
“Have you done this before?” Lucy asked as Wyatt carefully helped Young Hee to lie down and began using careful hands to examine her. He’d seemed relatively calm when Henry was born compared to most new dads but she’d chalked that up to his military experience.   
“Remote village in Afghanistan. The labor took 36 hours. But the mother and child were ok.” Lucy’s jaw dropped.   
“It’s a pity I didn’t have a home birth,” Lucy replied with a slight smile. She took Young Hee’s hand. “But we still need to get a doctor. Why don’t Jiya and Rufus go and find one?”  
“I’ll stay and help. I had a friend who was a midwife and I used to help her sometimes.” Jiya pushed Lucy aside and began to help Wyatt.  
“Ok, we’ll be back right away.” Lucy was secretly relieved. She was terrified of doing something wrong and hurting the baby. Rufus looked uncomfortable and scared out of his wits.  
Dr. Hyun Bong-Hak had agreed to come with them and Lucy turned to make her way back. Once the doctor got there things would get better. Her own delivery had lasted for hours. There was no way the baby would arrive before the doctor arrived. Well, at least she didn’t think so. Suddenly she saw the planes overhead and watched in horror as the bombs fell. That was almost the same place as where Wyatt and Jiya were...The same place….  
His name flew from her mouth as she began running. The mile seemed to be nothing and everything. She flew down the path at the same time it felt as if she wasn’t moving at all. Then she came upon the place she’d left them. There was nothing but a patch of rubble. He was dead.  
A wail came out of her mouth as she bent double, unable to stand upright. The idea of his being gone was too horrible to contemplate. A thousand memories flashed before her eyes. The night they met in a crowded bar. The passionate encounter that led to Henry’s existence. Their first frosty missions together. Him pulling her back together in Nazi Germany. The Alamo and her saving his life, holding his face in her hands. The slow understanding of her pregnancy. Kissing him under the nose of Bonnie and Clyde. Watching him try to save Jessica. His finding out about her pregnancy. Almost losing each other when Flynn nearly murdered her Grandfather. The long months she’d lived with him. The sleepy mornings wrapped up in his arms, the arguments over her health, the tender caresses. The time she’d thought he was dead. Reuniting with him and Henry. Darlington and racing. The first time they’d made love in the bunker. Hollywoodland...singing that song. A ring in front of Hedy’s pool. An impromptu dip in the water. A night of hopeful planning. And then nothing….  
She loved him. Of course, she’d known that before. But part of her had wondered that a relationship that had started out so strangely, with two people from two different lives who had come together for just one passionate night, would survive real life. She’d wondered if the feelings would fade, as they had presumably faded for her future self. She’d wondered if perhaps there was some hope of ending the dreadful ache in her heart. Flynn had lain to rest the idea that she’d ever really fall out of love completely but she’d still seen no real way forward. Now, the idea of being parted from him, the idea of not seeing those bright blue eyes twinkling at her seemed the greatest tragedy of all. Nothing else mattered.  
She didn’t just love him because he was her baby’s father or because they’d been thrown together time and time again. She loved him because she did and not because there was any particular reason. It simply was. An undisputable fact. And nothing was going to change that.  
And now he was gone. She lifted her head, cursing their ill-fated timing and longing for the timeline where Jessica had never parted them and she was his wife in very truth. Where that strange, makeshift wedding actually happened. Where they’d had to make due with a strangely aborted Honeymoon in the middle of an underground bunker and while raising a baby. She’d hardly have the bitterness of knowing that he thought she no longer loved him and that she’d fallen for another.  
There he was. Standing there, so whole and healthy with a baby in his arms. She found her face turning upwards in a smile long before the knowledge that he was alive had entered her consciousness. She’d seen him hold Henry just like that so many times. It had always warmed her heart. But never had the sight given her that instant poignant longing. Perhaps because for the first time she knew that all barriers between them, all the things they’d put in their way, were burned away. All the pride and fear and all the other loves and possibilities of other people forever laid to rest.   
“It’s a girl.” His smile was brilliant as he held the baby.   
“You’re alive.” Lucy blinked back the tears and rushed to his side.   
Jiya came around the corner with Young Hee and they slowly made their way back to port. Rufus was almost as shaken as she had been and she saw him lean over and tug Jiya close for a second.   
“So Wyatt delivered a baby…” Rufus began.  
“In the middle of a war zone.” Jiya finished.  
“It was no big deal, forget about it.” Wyatt flushed, nervously increasing his steps.  
“What else don’t I know about you?” Lucy asked. “You didn’t act like you knew when I was there.”  
“Because it was you. I was scared shitless.” Wyatt whispered.   
Seeing Young Hee reunited with her family made Lucy tear up. It reminded her of seeing Henry again. She watched as Young Hee’s son hugged his mother. Her gaze fell on Wyatt holding the baby. He was clearly entranced with the little girl, eyes soft and a silly little smile on his face as he gently rocked her. Lucy laid a hand on the baby’s arm, a smile creeping on her own face. For the first time, she actually started seriously considering having another child. She loved Henry and was completely satisfied with one child but the idea of another small bundle of joy made her weak-kneed.  
“I believe this little treasure is yours.” Wyatt placed the baby in her father’s arms.   
“Thank you.” Young Hee’s voice was choked with tears. “I hope you and your wife are reunited with your son.”  
The walk back to the church was silent and cold. Lucy shivered and wished devotedly for a hot shower or a bath. Or a hot cup of tea. Something to warm her chilled body. But when they came into the clearing there was an eerie silence. The bodies lying around made her skin crawl.  
“We’re surrounded. Outgunned, outmanned we can’t fight. We can’t run. So we hide.” Wyatt’s voice was deceptively calm. She felt the tremor in it.   
They huddled in the church. Wyatt stopped Jiya from lighting a candle so the sanctuary remained dark and shadowy. Lucy sank down behind the alter. She was cold and chilled and apparently they were about to die. Her son would be an orphan. She trusted Agent Christopher. She trusted her to make sure Henry got a good home and loving family. But she didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to leave her son. She didn’t want to die right after she’d found him. And if they died here, now, Rittenhouse would win. Her son would grow up in a terrible world. Numbly she watched Jiya and Rufus huddle together and then kiss.   
“What are you thinking about?” Wyatt sank down beside her.  
“Flynn…” Lucy began. She then continued when she felt Wyatt wince slightly. “The last thing he said to us before he left was that if we all died who would be left to fight Rittenhouse? Who will protect Henry?”   
She felt another tear slide down her cheeks. “ I haven’t given up hope. We leave it up to fate.”  
In spite of herself, Lucy started smiling and then the smile eased into a full-on chuckle. “What?” Wyatt asked, clearly mystified.  
“You,” Lucy smirked. “Talking about fate.”  
He smiled a little sadly and then Lucy continued. “After that explosion, I thought you were dead; and for a moment I saw my whole life without you and my world ended, Wyatt. And I kept thinking about all this time that we had just wasted, just wasting so much time and then all of the sudden there you were, holding a strangers baby that you had delivered… and I knew…”  
She blinked back tears, “You knew what?” He whispered urgently.  
“That I had fallen in love with you. That I’d never stopped. And nothing that happened, didn’t happen or might happen was ever going to change it. I love you, Wyatt Logan. I have loved you since the Alamo, since you kissed me with Bonnie and Clyde. Since the day Henry was born. Since that night in Hollywood. It wasn’t about Henry or a one-night stand. It simply was.  
She watched his face and the incredulous expression on his face as he hung on every word. Hope and confusion warring on his face. “What happened after...I wanted to choose you. I just felt like I owed her something. I thought you didn’t care. That it was all about Henry. I wish I could take it all back.”  
“And the crazy part is, Flynn already did. And now all we have between us is a past that only we remember.” She faced him dead on, eyes fixed on his.  
“So...” He whispered.   
“I don’t care about the past anymore, and we might not have a future. Maybe all that matters is right now.”  
He gave her an incredulous glance as if it was all too much to take. It was she who leaned forward, pressing her lips to his. It felt like the most wonderful relief to kiss him. She’d not forgotten the shape of his lips but the familiarity of his touch made her body ache with contentment. Eyes closed she felt his fingers tenderly graze her jaw, her own hands exploring his stubbled cheek. The sound of church bells ringing barely registered in the dreamy haze of the kiss. It seemed to fit somehow, like wedding bells. If she were truly his wife, she’d date that marriage to this moment, to this silent moment in a church nearly sixty-five years in the past.   
The shaking sensation and bright lights broke into the haze. Something was happening. Rising, Wyatt grabbed her hand and they moved to the door. He thrust her behind him to peep out. As he opened the door Lucy saw the Mothership. Heart in her throat she saw a familiar figure approach. Agent Christopher.  
“I couldn’t let you all die on Christmas. Besides, I always wanted to time travel myself.” Lucy flung herself at the woman, relief pooling through her veins.  
“Henry?” She questioned.   
“He’s fine. Mason is making sure he’s fine.”   
Emma was in handcuffs and Lucy shivered as she saw the cold gleam in Emma’s eyes. Emma might be funny but she was the reason Henry disappeared and all this misery happened. Lucy couldn’t forgive her.  
“ I can get Amy back for you. Your mother told me to do it. I don’t care either way. But to you, to you it’s everything.” Emma’s eyes were fixed on hers with an almost hypnotic leer. Lucy came near in spite of herself.  
“I respect you, Lucy. We could be an amazing team. Screw the Rittenhouse agenda. We could make history the way we want.” Emma’s voice softened. Lucy remembered the “great team” line. It didn’t make her any more willing to trust Emma. “Just trust me.”  
“I don’t.” Lucy swallowed, knowing she was saying goodbye to Amy. “I don’t trust you. If she gets any closer shoot her.”  
In the end, it was the communist soldiers rushing into the clearing that decided it. Emma fell with a thud and they all ran towards the Mothership. Rufus was beside himself with glee over finally flying the craft. Lucy had to admit it was a smoother ride. But she was grateful to their old hunk of metal, even if their hunk of metal was greatly upgraded.   
Rufus, Jiya and Agent Christopher took the Mothership while she and Wyatt went back to the Lifeboat. Sinking down into the seat she aimlessly discussed Rufus’s flying abilities. She was nervous in spite of herself. It felt as if life had truly altered and even though she was happy at the changes she was also nervous.   
Wyatt leaned over and began adjusting her straps. She’d long ago become accustomed to doing them herself. But now it felt like old times to have his hands pressed lightly against her chest to tighten them and then across her waist. “I think…” her voice shook slightly, “I can manage this on my own.”  
“Oh, it’s no problem at all...ma’am.” The roguish twinkle and smirk made her weak-kneed and he knew it. Damn it.   
“Don’t call me ma’am,” Lucy replied. She sounded more turned on than annoyed and they both broke into simultaneous giggles.   
“Now that we have the Mothership we can get Amy back. The journal says that we can.” Wyatt leaned forward and gave the seatbelt a final tug before running his hands along her thighs and resting them on her knees. Lucy gently laid her hands on his. It felt so natural to once again touch. She hadn’t realized how touch starved she was until now.   
“No, Wyatt. I’ve thought a lot about this. And we can’t. Look what happened with Henry. We lost him. And look at all the terrible things Flynn did to bring his family back. Look at what happened when you got Jessica back. I’m so, so grateful we got Henry and Rufus back but we lost Flynn. Are we willing to give up every gain we made?”   
She could tell he didn’t like it but he only nodded and gently squeezed her knees. Leaning back he did up his own straps. “Well, if you’re ok with that.”  
“I’m not ok. But we all lose people we love. And no matter how much we might want to bring them back, we can’t. So that’s everyone’s story.” Lucy felt the pressure of tears but she forced herself to smile.   
“Jiya said auto pilot.” Wyatt said. He began typing in the date and location. Lucy was in awe of the simple touch screen. It looked easy enough for even her to manage.  
“You sure you can do this?” She teased, gratified to see the look of amused annoyance on his face.   
He reached out and she took his hand. They entered the present together.

They were met with a screaming Henry and a very overwhelmed Mason. After changing and feeding him Lucy managed to hand him off to Wyatt and take a hot shower that warmed her chilled body. Henry had worn himself out crying and now laid quiet and calm in his father’s arms. Lucy melted seeing them together. Now that she’d fully come to terms with her feelings for him she felt a delicious sense of freedom and hope. Wyatt was staring down at Henry adoringly, Henry’s small hand wrapped around a finger. Lucy knew what losing them felt like. She refused to accept that her little family would be separated ever again. Wyatt handed him over to her and went off to take his own shower. Agent Christopher ran through the debriefing and then she was free to go. Agent Christopher’s eyes twinkled as she said, “I’m sure you’ll be celebrating your victories.”  
Lucy only smiled, “Of course.”  
“Sweetie,” she whispered in Henry’s ear as she laid him in his crib. “Mommy and Daddy love you so much. And we won a war today. Which means we won’t be going in the big machine anymore.”  
She curled up on the bed with her phone in her hand. She began researching Yung Hee, gratified to find that the woman’s life had been happy and normal. Wyatt came in, instantly gravitating to Henry before sitting down and removing his shoes.   
She told him all about Young Hee, her own happiness at the woman’s life spilling over in a soft smile. “Sounds like a crazy, ordinary, wonderful life. Like ours.”  
“Thanks to you.” Lucy thought about how he’d delivered that baby and kept Young Hee alive in the middle of a war.   
“No, that was your call.” Wyatt stood up and came towards her, a soft expression in his eyes.  
“I think everyone is important to someone.” Lucy sighed. Leaning in for a kiss she found her eyes drifting upwards. The small green sprig right above the bed made her laugh and then smile wickedly. It wasn’t as if she needed the help of the mistletoe but it was a nice gesture.   
“How did that get there?” She couldn’t help marveling at the happy smile on Wyatt’s face. He looked lighter than she’d ever seen him. His eyes were soft and tender as he looked at her. How had she not seen the shadow in them all those weeks with Jessica?  
“Apparently Agent Christopher has a dirtier mind than we thought.” Lucy’s eyes roved his face and then moved downward as she smirked at him. Oh she had plans for the night. Plans of erasing every minute of the pain and sadness of the last few months in one fell swoop.   
“I mean, it is a custom.” The giddy smile on his face only grew wider.  
She felt her gaze grow lustful as she raised her eyebrows and murmured, “Mmm…”   
“All right.” The smile didn’t leave as he stared at her a trifle awkwardly.   
“Hmm.” She bridged the gap between them and kissed him. The happy, giddy feeling in her heart only grew stronger as the heat flooded her system. The kiss deepened, his teeth nipping gently at her lower lip. She sighed, the sensation traveling down her spine and settling into a dull ache in her core. Fingers dancing across his jaw she finally drew apart long enough to speak. His mouth sought hers, reluctant to pull away.   
“That’s the first time we’ve done that as a married couple in the present. Actually as an engaged couple in the present. I mean, our present, I mean 2018.” Lucy stumbled over her words, trying to point out how important that was to her. It might seem a strange distinction but it mattered.   
“Well, seeing as it’s almost 2019…” Wyatt murmured. His smile was blinding again, the quiet adoration in his eyes making her heart lurch happily.  
“True.” She replied.  
“Maybe we should…” He began.  
“Make up for lost time.” She finished.   
She found herself being pushed back on the bed, the kiss never ending as her back made contact with the sheets. She wasn’t sure who’d made the first move but the decision to go horizontal was one she was so thankful for. Her legs automatically locked around his body, trapping him to her. One leg slide between his, the instinctive desire to flip them over insistent. She heard the muttered exclamation as his lips descended on hers again. Her dress slid higher up her body as she moved her legs up, cradling his body between her thighs. His hand fell to her neck, thumb caressing her cheek. There was no rush. She pressed her body up against his, trying to get closer. This heat, this softness, it was enough and too much and not enough. She wanted more and she was satisfied and it was too much.   
A loud gasp split the air as his hips ground into hers, her thin negligee and panties doing nothing to disguise the friction of denim against her. Opening her eyes she caught the soft smile again as he stared down at her. Her head fell to the side as his lips trailed against her neck. She normally liked more control in her sexual encounters but this time she was content to let him lead. It still felt like a dream. It was such a good dream that she’d be happy if she never woke up.  
“Wyatt,” she whispered. His name fell off her lips smoothly, like silk.  
“Lucy,” the soft word painted against her collarbone made her shiver.   
“This is the first time we’ve done this as a married couple.”   
He might be getting tired of her pointing out how it was a first time for things but she couldn’t get enough of it. “Well, other us probably did.”  
“Apparently we had a mission during the reception.” Lucy smiled.   
“I’m sure we fixed that the minute we got back.” Another kiss to her pulse point. The flash of teeth against her tender skin sent her pulse racing.  
“Well, it’s the first time for this version of us.” Lucy replied. She held out her hand. “I didn’t have this ring before.”  
“Then we should make the most of our wedding night.” His eyes fell on the ring, both the ring he’d given her and the wedding band and then he kissed her finger. It was a pointlessly romantic gesture he’d probably have scoffed at. But they’d lost each other. So completely that they’d never discount this again. Their lips met in another spell binding kiss. Hands roved and explored as much as they could with the limitations of clothing. She sighed as his hands ran along her calves and thighs.   
Finally he pulled away and grasped the sleeves of her reindeer sweater and dragged it off before unceremoniously tossing it to the side. Her camisole was gone in another second, falling across the floor in a colorful heap. One eyebrow rose at her matching red undies and bra. Normally she didn’t wear a bra with this thing but she was in the bunker and well...she didn’t want to flash her neighbors.   
“You look festive.” He commented, one hand coming to slide along her side.  
“Thought I should match the holiday.” The words came out breathy. She was definitely more exposed than she normally liked but she couldn’t bring herself to care.   
“Oh you definitely do. Good enough to…” A kiss that started at her mouth and then trailed down her neck. “Eat.”  
The words alone sent her pulse skittering. Trying to gather her scattered concentration she grasped his shirt and pulled it up and off his body. Rocking forward she started pressing open-mouthed kisses along his shoulders and chest. She was definitely entertained, finally having a chance to touch him and it gave her such a sense of satisfaction to see him draw in a ragged breath. It was only the swelling in his jeans that reminded her that she hadn’t finished undressing him.   
Lucy was never the most coordinated person so she dropped to the side to order, “Take those jeans off.”   
“Bossy, bossy.” He teased but obviously didn’t care because he did as she said.   
“You want to see bossy.” She threatened.   
A few seconds later her bra was hanging loose and saw him smirk back at her. “This has to be my favorite.”  
“You have a fetish for my bras.” She murmured. “Very bad.”  
“I had that one in my mouth two hours after meeting you again. Do you know how impossible it was to forget?” His hands cupped her breasts as he whispered into her ear.   
His mouth replaced his hands as she was pushed up on the bed. He switched sides; sending white-hot sparks straight to her core. “For me either.” she gasped out. “I tried but...I… couldn’t.”  
She wasn’t just talking about the bra incident. She was talking about every single fruitless attempt to rid himself from her. At first she’d believed the only thing between them was Henry. Then it was her deep love for him. It was only now, after losing everything, that she realized how much they loved each other.   
Now, though she wasn’t hesitating. Not one bit. The insecurity would come back. All their scars were still there. But she loved him. And he loved her. They would work through them, together.   
He started trailing kisses down her stomach pausing only to remove the festive undies from her and throw them aside. A few kisses along her hipbone and tender hands massaging her calves made her feel like she was literally melting into the bed. “This ok?” He questioned, nose and mouth only centimeters away from her center.  
“Ohhh…” she gasped. The words were supposed to be a yes but he obviously took whatever sound she made as assent. Screwing her eyes shut she bit her lip hard to keep whatever exclamations he was drawing out of her silent. Stroke by stroke of his tongue he was unraveling her and the effort to keep quiet was winding her tighter by the second. She reached a hand down to tug at the short strands of hair at his neck trying to find something to ground her back to earth. Her eyes opened long enough to see the sprig of mistletoe and a sinful smile touched her lips.   
Then the coil burst and she was panting and gasping out as her muscles relaxed into the bed. Wyatt gave her a little happy grin before sitting up and stretching out beside her. His gaze followed hers to the sprig of mistletoe and they exchanged giddy giggles.   
“Bet she didn’t think that kind of kissing was going to happen.” He smirked at her and leaned over to kiss her properly.  
“Oh, I’m sure she did,” Lucy replied. His sudden look of shock made her laugh again. Lucy had seen the significant and slightly devious expression on Denise Christopher’s face. That woman knew exactly what she was doing.  
“She’s our boss.” He replied.   
“I know. And we made sure she met and married the love of her life. So I think she’s just paying it back.” Lucy leaned forward to kiss him. She was so thankful that somehow the timelines had straightened out and they were back in each other’s arms.   
The giddy euphoria gave way to something stronger and more primal as rolled her underneath him. She hadn’t been lying when she’d said they had to make up for lost time. It felt as if all the pain and heartache of the last months were being wiped away, only a memory, no longer a reality. She wanted to feel every second. No more numbing. No more running. She was here, now, no longer waiting.   
Lucy tilted her head for a kiss, a tender lilt to her whisper, “Time’s wasting, isn’t it?”  
They both let out low moans at the sensation as he slowly slid inside. She forced her eyes open and stared up at him, studying the way his face looked in the grey, late afternoon sun. Hands splayed access his back she committed the feeling of the warmth of his skin to her memory. Slowly his eyes opened and their gazes locked. Wyatt took an easy steady pace. Despite it all there was no need to rush. They had all the time in the world.   
“Lucy,” Her name fell from his lips like a song, a prayer that had no answer except in her eyes.   
“Wyatt,” her voice was hushed and cracked with emotion. She felt like crying. It was ridiculous. She’d never once cried during sex except with him. The walls she’d put up for years were crumbling to dust. She’d never been more vulnerable.   
The temptation to move, to somehow focus both of their minds back on the physical sensation instead of their hushed connection filled her. Lucy resisted it. This time she was giving him more than her body. She was giving her cracked and weary heart. This time he was doing the same.   
A tear slipped down her face. The pressure was building in her body but she didn’t want this moment to end. She caught his gaze again and he whispered against her skin, “I feel it too.”  
She kissed him then, focusing on all of the sensations flowing through her body, committing to memory every luxurious second. It felt like a first time. She wanted to extend the space between the seconds, to make this moment last longer. She had to remind herself that now, this time around they wouldn’t be separated. The ache inside was familiar, the feeling of being ripped apart and put back together. For so long her love had felt like an aching void that could never be satisfied.  
Her body was getting closer and closer to the peak and when his fingers slipped between her legs to coax her over the edge she let out a moan of pleasured anguish. She felt him let go too, movements becoming jerky as her body tightened around him. He collapsed on top of her and buried his face against her neck. A smile found it’s way onto her face as she pressed a kiss to his hair. Sated, thoroughly happy and so relaxed she could barely move Lucy lay there basking in the beauty of this moment.  
Wyatt rolled off of her and she curled up beside him. She was exhausted and despite the fact that it was only about 4 in the afternoon she wanted to sleep forever. Sleepily she murmured, already nearly asleep, “I like this making up for lost time thing.”  
“Me too.” She could hear the happiness in his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. The moment we’ve been waiting for. I changed some things around from the actual episode since Lyatt is married. (I can’t deal with the rings things. Someone, please sedate me.) I think they’d both have an instant connection to Young Hee because they’re parents too.  
> Lucy already knew she was in love. The problem was being able to trust her heart again. The explosion gave her the push she needed to finally tell him. (It’s canon that Wyatt and babies are a thing and that it turns Lucy on lol. But no twins for a while. One baby is quite enough for them right now.)  
> Finally some happy, giddy smut. I think those two totally deserve it. (Yes, Henry’s in the room. He’s only a baby and this is the bunker. Not a lot of options. But he’s totally fine.) I think this time around it’s going to be extremely emotional. They’ve been through so much sadness they really need this chance to reconnect and heal. And technically for this timeline version of them, it’s their wedding night. There will be another chapter and the epilogue. I’m so happy I’m leaving them in a happy place.


	11. Chapter 6 Part 1

Sometime during the night, Henry began to stir and he woke up with a start. They’d fallen right after making love and he’d slept like the dead ever since. Both were exhausted having barely slept in days. Lucy was sprawled practically on top of him, all long limbs and tangled dark hair. She had a strand of hair in her mouth that he carefully brushed aside. Henry began whimpering again.   
Wyatt got up and went over to his son. Henry gave another cry as he lifted him up. “You hungry? Or do you need to be changed?”  
He kept his voice low as he checked Henry’s diaper and changed it with ease. “Don’t want to wake Mama. She needs her sleep.”  
Henry continued to whimper softly. Wyatt wondered if his son sensed that the timeline shift had occurred. It was impossible but it felt as if Henry knew that something had happened. He reached into the small refrigerator they kept the formula in and retrieved the bottle. Henry gave a contented little snort as he placed the bottle in his mouth.  
There was nothing better than seeing him healthy and happy. Nothing better than knowing this crazy time travel world was over and Henry could grow up in a world without the fear of being erased. Sitting down on the chair he continued feeding Henry until he was satisfied. Lifting him up, he patted him on the back and chuckled when Henry burped loudly. He’d never have thought that he’d ever been glad that a baby burped. But it meant Henry was alive and healthy and that was the most important thing.   
Finally, Henry was put down and fell asleep again. Henry was such a good baby which had to be a relief with the other bunker occupants. Crawling into bed beside Lucy he stared down at the rings glittering on her hand as she slept. The idea that they’d come upon this timeline was so outstanding and terrifying and unreal. Lucy was his wife. Henry was back. Rufus was back. The Mothership was gone.  
Guilt threatened to pull him in. He’d failed so often and so thoroughly. He’d gone after Jessica even though he’d known his true place was beside Lucy even if she hadn’t been willing to accept him right then. He’d allowed Jessica to manipulate and control him, endangering everyone. He’d behaved like an unmanageable asshole to Lucy acting with jealousy and selfishness. And then he’d lied and allowed Jessica to kidnap Jiya and contribute to Rufus’s death. No wonder his future self had been so harsh.   
The sight of him and Lucy looking so distant had been a punch to the gut. He hated the way they looked so awkward and uncomfortable around each other. It had reminded him of his own parents before the divorce and his mother disappearing, never to be seen again. She’d ended up committing suicide in a hotel room in Reno. He’d resolved he’d rather die than see himself ever become that hardened, bearded stranger.  
Knowing that Lucy had apparently moved on with Flynn had been painful but the one thing he’d always wanted for her was happiness. She’d seemed happy enough in that short entry, after being so pained all along, that he’d assumed that that was where the story ended. True, all that would be erased when Henry came back but if he went back and fixed things then she would be free to be with anyone she chooses. His son being around Flynn, being raised by the man, made his heartache. Well, perhaps he would have been a good stepfather. He’d had a daughter once.   
Seeing them talking had all but confirmed that he had to be the one to do it. He still wasn’t sure what to do but as he read the entries, he realized that he had to kill Jessica. He had to prevent her from entering the bunker and he had to prevent her from preventing Henry’s birth. The thought of it made him sick. She might not be the woman he’d remembered but the idea of coldly killing her was horrible. He glanced over at Lucy. She was soft and gentle and so sad in the firelight. He’d get Henry back for her. Maybe Henry would never know him, and he’d never see him again, but he would get Henry back. Then his gaze fell on Jiya and resolved that Rufus would be back with her. Rufus would make sure Henry was safe if Flynn did anything to either Lucy or Henry.   
She might talk about going with him but that was impossible. Neither she nor Jiya would sacrifice their lives to save Rufus. He’d have to do it himself. It would have to be carefully planned. He only had one shot. He’d have to do it while they were in the past. Otherwise, Lucy’s memories would be that he never hurt her so badly. She’d only remember the Wyatt who hadn’t broken her heart. Moving on would be much harder.   
He was silently staring into the fire, trying to steal up the courage to do this thing. His gaze lingered on Lucy’s face as he memorized the lines and contours of it. He’d known that face so well. In the time they’d spent together he’d seen so many moods pass over it. He knew so much about her. About the way she danced around the kitchen when she was excited, the way she sang in the shower and the way she looked holding a baby.   
“May I look at that?” Flynn’s voice broke into his thoughts. He was pointing to the journal. Wyatt shrugged and handed it to him. The journal was more Flynn and Lucy’s possession than his. He still didn’t understand why Future Lucy had thrown it at him but perhaps she’d hoped he’d do this. Perhaps she saw this was the only fitting end for a man who’d done so much wrong. Perhaps she’d hoped he’d go back and fix this so she could have her happy ending. His future self had all but said that. This was a one-way destination. A one-way ticket to some kind of hell. Because even if he survived the time travel, he wasn’t sure he could survive the guilt of knowing he’d been the one to kill Jessica or see Lucy and Henry happy with someone else. It was better to risk fate or God or whatever there was afterlife. Or whatever there wasn’t. Nothingness was all right.   
Flynn flipped to a specific spot, studied it for a second and then slipped something between the pages of the journal. Then he stood up. “I’m going to scout a bit around the mill.”  
“Ok,” Wyatt spoke softly. Then he looked at Flynn and swallowed hard. He wanted to hate the man. Wanted to hate what he’d done. And yes, he could never condone any of it. But what would he have done if he’d watched the life drain out of Lucy and Henry? “Take care of them. Don’t let them go.”  
He was talking about Lucy and Jiya of course but more broadly of Lucy and Henry. He was warning Flynn that if Lorena and Iris came back, he couldn’t do the same thing he’d done. That if anything happened to either of them, he’d have hell to pay even if Wyatt wasn’t there to deliver it.   
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Flynn spoke softly.  
“You know yourself. It’s impossible to survive this thing. Even if one could, would it be worth it?”   
“No, probably not.” Flynn agreed.  
“Keep them from following. By any means.” Wyatt glanced over at Lucy and Jiya.  
“You don’t seem to understand what this will do to her. She can’t lose anymore.”  
“She’ll get Henry back. And I’m….” Wyatt paused and took a deep breath. His pride hated saying this. More than that it felt as if his heart was being slowly shredded. “Not the person she needs.”  
Flynn didn’t say anything for some time. Then he spoke, “Well, shouldn’t that be up to her? I mean, she should at least know what you’re up to.”  
“It’s better she doesn’t.” Because knowing Lucy she’d try to stop him. That was Lucy for you.   
Flynn only placed the journal in his hand and shook his head silently. And then he was gone.   
Lucy shook herself awake a few hours later asking, “Where is Flynn?” If that wasn’t proof enough where her heart really lay, he didn’t know what was.  
“He said he wanted to scout around the mill a bit,” Wyatt replied.   
“Ok,” Lucy replied. Then she spoke, a soft whisper he could only hear, “I’d do anything to get Henry back.”  
“I know. I would too.” Wyatt replied. “That’s why I have to be the one to do it.”  
“But…” Lucy began.  
“That’s why they came back. So that I can go back but you’ll be safe. You’ll be great raising Henry.” Wyatt spoke softly. “I know you are the best mother. He’ll be happy with you.”  
“I won’t let you go alone,” Lucy replied.   
“Then Henry would have no parents. Lucy, let me do this. Let me fix this.” Flynn had been right. He couldn’t go without telling her. He owed her that much at least. She might not love him, but they had been together, and they’d had a child together.   
“No... there has to be another way.” Lucy felt tears slide down her cheeks. “Promise me, you won’t go and leave me here.”   
“No, I won’t. I promise.”  
It was a promise that would have to be broken.  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the end, it was Garcia Flynn who’d sacrificed himself and done the one thing that had ensured safety and happiness for all. Standing there with Rufus alive and Henry most likely alive and well at the Bunker joy had mixed with sorrow. Joy that the timeline had righted and sorrow at knowing Jessica was gone forever and Lucy was forever out of reach. Even sorrow that Flynn had died. It was impossible to hate or even dislike someone who’d taken the punishment that was supposed to fall on you.   
“I guess that’s why you end up with Flynn.” He hadn’t meant that in the journal Flynn had done this thing. He’d simply meant that he’d made this great heroic sacrifice for Lucy and that it had probably been what had won her heart. It was an acknowledgment that he’d failed too much, and the other man had been there to pick up the slack and soothe her and help her.  
He walked to the door, intent on finding Rufus and then seeing Henry. He still had Henry. “I didn’t,” Lucy spoke with a choked whisper.  
Glancing up, he met her eyes. Then she spoke again, “I didn’t end up with him, I mean.”  
Joy and disbelief warred in his heart. Was she meaning there was a chance he could win her back? That perhaps, someday he’d be able to gain absolution for all the pain he’d caused her. But Rufus interrupted and there was no time but to follow.   
The heartfelt and genuine toast he gave to Flynn’s honor meant more than anyone else had realized. Flynn hadn’t just saved Rufus and Henry, he’d saved him. Holding Henry in his arms, watching his sweet baby face pucker up as he cried and seeing Lucy sobbing was enough to send him into an emotional spiral of his own. Jiya didn’t remember Henry’s existence and Rufus and the rest had never seen him gone. Only Lucy and he had the agony of seeing him slip away and remember it.   
It was hard to separate himself from the emotional reunion, but things needed to be straightened out first. His room was no longer laid out as it had for Jessica. It was back to the old arrangement before Jessica had reappeared. Lucy’s stuff was all over along with the crib where Henry slept. This didn’t surprise him since in that timeline they were still together. But the white dress hanging on a nail and the glint of an unfamiliar golden ring gave him pause. Was it possible?  
The pain was a piacular kind of ache. The ache of the might have beens, the almost was. A phantom pain that settled deep in his stomach and sent the blood rushing away from his head. Picking up the ring he went to find Mason. “Whose is this?”  
“Yours,” Mason looked saddened. “You and Lucy married last week.”  
“What?” Wyatt had suspected they were still engaged in this timeline, but marriage seemed a shock. Especially since it had only been a little more than a month since Hollywoodland.  
“Yes, Denise officiated. It was a very small ceremony. As you can imagine. And you were called away directly afterward. But it was a very beautiful one. I can show you pictures.” Mason looked all too pitying and the grief in his eyes must have shown. Mason pulled up a screen and added, “Take some time and look them over.”  
The pictures were like a stab to the gut. Lucy smiling in her vintage white dress and holding a large bouquet. Henry dressed in an adorable onesie and playing with everyone. Himself in the suit from 1919. Jiya and Rufus acting as bridesmaid and best man respectively. Mason pretending to give Lucy away even though everyone knew it was a joke since Lucy was very much her own woman. Even Flynn was there, looking almost pleased.   
He watched the video then noting all the details that made his heart twist. The way the giddy happiness looked on Lucy’s face. The joy on his own face. The frequent smiles and laughs as they looked at each other. The way they looked as if they found the universe in each other’s eyes. He’d stumbled through his vows, trying so hard to be eloquent but failing to impress anyone with anything but the fact that he was scared out of his wits and in awe of one woman. Lucy had been poised and collected, speaking with clear confidence and softness that made him feel a little foolish. The long-awaited kiss was tender and passionate, the final part of the ceremony that now was nothing more than a series of photos without meaning.   
Going back to his room he started packing up his stuff in the old duffle bag that had seen more and more of his travels over the years. Henry was sleeping and he leaned over to whisper in his ear.   
Lucy was standing there and the awkward conversations that followed seemed to cement the idea that she was now trapped in a marriage she hadn’t consented to. Vaguely he wondered if you could annul a marriage like theirs. After all, it hadn’t really happened to them. Just to the other versions of themselves.   
Trapped in that church, waiting for the enemy soldiers to break in and kill them all, he knew that if he had to die in the cold of North Korea, he’d go out hearing her words of love. It meant more this time around, knowing that Lucy knew the farthest they could go and still loved him. The touch of her lips felt like redemption, like a second chance so rare and special that he’d never be able to repay it, but he’d die trying.   
Lying here beside him, sleeping peacefully, it felt like a dream. Closing his eyes again he drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow he’d have to deal with reality. Right now, he was going to enjoy this.  
A few hours later he awoke again. Lucy was shifting around, the thin slip she must have put on sliding up her body. She smiled as she curled closer. “Good morning.”  
It felt like a repeat of their last night together in Hollywood. “Good morning.”   
“Merry Christmas.” Lucy smiled. “I’d forgotten it was Christmas. Henry’s first Christmas.”  
She sprang up, alarm written all over her face. “I don’t have gifts wrapped for him.”  
“No, worries Lucy. He’s too young to know the difference.” Wyatt ran a hand down her arm.   
“I guess you’re right. We can give them to him as soon as we’re released from this place.”  
Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her lips. She smiled and ran a finger along his cheek. For a few minutes, they were quiet, exchanging sleepy kisses and caresses as they fought the oncoming daylight and reality.   
“I got you a gift.” Wyatt got up and rummaged around until he found the small package that the other version of him had wrapped.   
“You shouldn’t have. Wait, how did you go shopping in the middle of this?” Lucy asked.  
“I got this in Hollywoodland.” Lucy looked at him for a moment as she pulled out the glittering ornament.   
“It’s beautiful.” Lucy blinked the glitter of unshed tears making her eyes shine. “But you stole it.”  
“We steal cars, this is nothing.” He couldn’t stop staring at her adorable face as she straight up cackled.   
“I…” Lucy leaned back and then grinned and winked at him, “Didn’t get you anything. Sorry.”   
“I have everything I need.” His gaze fell on Henry’s crib and back to her face.  
She melted into the bed as she kissed him, her hand coming up to grip his shoulder. It didn’t matter they’d just been together a few hours ago because right now it felt like forever. So many missed opportunities.   
The interlude was interrupted by Henry whimpering and Lucy raced over to pick him up. Neither of them could be a bit upset their “fun” had been interrupted as they held him. He was so precious to them that it didn’t matter as long as they had him safe and close and able to interrupt.   
“We’re terrible parents.” Lucy sighed. “Wait, unless we got Henry something in this timeline.”  
“We must have.” Wyatt began helping her search the room for anything that might be suitable for a five-month-year-old baby.   
“I found it.” Lucy triumphantly pulled open a bag. “The gifts for him. Also, for Rufus and Jiya and Mason and Christopher. And one for you.”  
He grinned at her as she held out the wrapped package. “What is it?”  
“I don’t know.” Lucy smiled.  
Inside the wrapping was a copy of the Declaration of Independence. Wyatt opened to cover to find an inscription inside. “Thank you for saving my life. John.” His mouth dropped open.  
“John Kennedy inscribed a book for me.” He asked Lucy.  
“I guess so.” Lucy grinned. “I think it was meant for both of us.”  
“That’s officially the best gift ever.” Wyatt leaned down and kissed her. She only smiled back and picked up her ornament.   
“I beg to differ.”  
Later, while they were sipping mimosas Lucy started opening Henry’s gifts. “Look, Sweetie, we got you a new outfit.”  
Henry smiled and waved his arms but didn’t seem particularly thrilled with the new outfit. Opening another package Wyatt found a stuffed bear. That seemed to amuse Henry who began passing his small fingers over it. They’d gotten Rufus a new wallet and Jiya a new purse. Clearly, other them had been shopping on Amazon and asking Agent Christopher to bring them over. Mason seemed pleased with the matching wallet. Agent Christopher exclaimed over the baking dish they’d gotten her.  
“We gave such old married couple gifts,” Wyatt complained to Lucy. She giggled, the expression on her face worth the silliness. God, he loved her.  
“I guess so. Although we don’t really have a ton of options down here in this place.” Lucy’s fingers strayed over the scarf Christopher had made them. It was an ugly fuzzy scarf but Lucy’s little frown when he’d shown his less than pleased reaction made him wise up. He’d only been married for a short time, but she already knew how to make him toe the line.   
It didn’t take too much longer to pack up. Strapping Henry into his car seat and taking the short ride to their apartment felt like a dream. The rooms looked just as they’d left them. Apart from the rotting food and messy rooms, it felt like it had been days instead of months since they’d left.   
“It’s good to be home.” Lucy placed Henry in his little play seat before setting to work clearing up the kitchen.   
It was good to be home. Home with his family. For the first time in years, he believed that war was over, and peace had come. Apart from a few assignments he’d be living and working in Palo Alto with Lucy and Henry. She’d probably go back to teaching. They’d be a family.   
Lifting her up for a second he leaned forward and kissed her soundly. “I agree.”  
She leaned closer, wrapping her arms around him. “Merry Christmas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the delay in posting this. I’ve been super busy with school and work stuff. This chapter does get angsty although we all know it ends well. I was literally tearing up every single time I read certain sections. Poor Wyatt. Even though this version of him is far more blameless than canon Wyatt for the problems that led to Rufus’s death, he blames himself completely. It may seem a trifle OOC for him to be completely ok with Lucy ending up with Flynn especially with Henry being around but you have to remember Henry wouldn’t exist if someone didn’t go back and Wyatt ultimately wants Lucy and Henry to be happy most of all. (That scene always makes me sob.) Also the Lyatt wedding. Seriously beautiful. It turns out Lucy did get him a gift. I feel like other Lucy would be more careful to get him a gift considering that she married him. All we have left of this story is the epilogue. I really appreciate the support I’ve received on this story. It means the world.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this particular story is really rough. I'm really sick with a cold right now and I'm exhausted but I wanted to fulfill the prompt so I decided to just go for it. I may edit it later but I hope you enjoy this very rough version. It's way steamier than I normally write and I'm ace spec so it's really hard to write a one-night stand relationship. I'm trying to experiment with different things. I'm was trying to fulfill a prompt I saw on Tumblr. "One Night Stand and Falling Pregnant AU". There will be another part so stay tuned.  
> I'm really sorry for the typos, grammar mistakes, and general horribleness but my head is killing me right now.  
> Also, I have no clue the timeline for Season 1 so in my story, you can assume that it took about 3 months from the Pilot to Episode 13. I think in actuality it took much longer. But hey, Timeless writers thought Jessica could be pregnant and know it in three weeks. Also, don't time travel when pregnant. Poor Lucy is in such denial and she's so self-sacrificing she is willing to erase her own kid (I think the main reason is she knew she was the product of an affair. I don't think she wanted a baby that had a father that was forced into choosing between his dead wife and a baby with a woman he wasn't in love with. She's trying to protect both herself and the baby in as weird a way as that may seem. Obviously, she's not thinking very clearly.)


End file.
